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Marvin D's Experience

Experience description:   

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I attended a 3 days weekend Reiki workshop during which I was initiated as a level one Reiki practitioner.  This workshop also included a series of practice Reiki session in which students could give or receive treatments.

My experience occurred when I was the recipient of a treatment. The treatment began with me lying face up on a massage table. The Reiki master conducting the workshop stood the head of the table.  Students worked on other parts of my body placing hands on various chakras.

Reiki is a hands on energy healing technique in which initiated practitioners channel Ki through themselves and into a recipient via their hands.  Typically this is done through a series of hand prescribed hand positions which correspond roughly to energy centers, or chakras in the body. 

My session began without any special attention or preparation.  However as the session progressed I could feel intense energy flowing in various parts of my body.  At some point there was a powerful concentration of energy in my head and neck creating a strong feeling of pressure.

The Reiki master advised that I focus my attention to any such area and see what I could discover.  This process generally begins with asking questions of those areas where the energy is most keenly felt.

As the sensation of pressure great more intense, I closed my eyes and began to ask silently what the original source of this pressure might be.  Almost immediately I found myself standing entirely alone on a featureless grey plain.

As I looked around I noted that the sky was also grey and featureless.  The only difference between sky and ground was a light variation in tone.  I also noted that this landscape was lighted with a distinct soft but non-directional light.  The light was entirely uniform and had no obvious source, it simply was light, everywhere. 

There was no sound, no feeling of wind, and no sensation of temperature.  The whole scene was entirely surreal and yet it felt entirely real.  I was still very much aware of my physical body on the table, yet I was also aware of what seemed this equally real grey place.

I tried to explain what I was seeing and feeling to others around the table, and specifically to the Reiki master, assuming this would somehow make sense to them.  I was advised that I should not seeking to explain this experience, but rather to allow myself to go into it fully seeking to understand the pressure I was experiencing. 

I continued to look around this other worldly environment seeking something which could explain it.  I silently asked for help to understand what this place was, and why I was there.

At some point shortly after asking these questions I noticed the appearance of an object, some distance ahead of me and to my right.  At first the object was to far away to distinguish features. I tried to move closer but the object seemed to move away.

Frustrated I demanded to know what this object was and, suddenly I was standing next to it.  There was no sense of having moved, I was simply there in an instant.

The object was a smooth grey spherical shape.  It seemed to have mass and weight and was sitting on the ground.  I recall that it was not perfectly grey but had a slight hint of pink to it.

I was still aware of my physical body lying on the table during the Reiki session, however my sense of being in a time and space seemed to become distorted.  The grey world I was experiencing seemed to pull in my conscious awareness imposing or intruding into my feelings or what was real.

Consulting with the Reiki master I described the scene before me trying to figure out what this object might be.  She advised that I simply explore it as I thought it might be possible to do so. 

I approached the object and began to run my hands over it.  This is a curious phrase to use because I don't recall having hands.  However I do recall the object feeling smooth and soft.

As some point during this exploration I began again to silently ask of the object what it was.  At some point in that process I found myself drawing into it, almost like I had been absorbed. 

I found myself inside a chamber the size of an average sized room.  The walls were smooth and grey but somewhat different from the exterior.  The interior shape mirrored the shape of the outside but obviously with a reverse arch.  It was clear that I was standing inside a hollow sphere.  The shape as more like a partially deflated balloon, not perfectly round, but rather a dome shape with a flatten bottom.

Once again I noted there was a soft light which seemed to have no source.  The interior of the sphere was illuminated but not from a specific point.  The light just seemed to be there, everywhere evenly.

I began to feel a sense of panic that somehow I was now inside this object with not apparent way to get out.  Just as I had those thoughts I noticed an opening across from me and to my left.  I had not noticed this previously, but it seemed to somehow be just there.  I had no sense of this opening, emerging or developing or being created, it was simply there.

I approached the opening cautiously.  Standing close enough to look in I could see a tunnel which went down curving to the right.  The tunnel was lined with regularly spaced ridges not unlike a series of doughnuts.  I recall thinking that this tunnel had the appearance of one of the plastic tunnels one finds in a children's playground.  However this tunnel was clearly made of something soft and the ridges would have prevented it being used as a slide.

The tunnel became dark as it disappear around the bend.  I stepped closer to see if I could look further down and then found myself inside the tunnel.  I knew I was moving down, but I had no sense of falling.  I was being pulled along by a force which seemed to carry me.

At this point I had begun to disconnect with the physical body I knew rationally to be laying on the massage table.  The experience I was having within the confines of this grey world had become extremely powerful and very real.

As the experience in the tunnel continued I felt a sense of real panic.  The walls of the tunnel began to squeeze in on me and as they did any sense of light disappeared until I was in total darkness.  At some point in this event I recall opening my physical eyes but was unable to actually see anything. 

I knew that the room I was in was filled with light, because rationally I also knew it was a sunny afternoon and the room was filled with windows.  However at that moment in time my eyes could see nothing of that light.

The passage of time was now totally distorted.  I had no concept of time or space, and my sense of what was real was entirely gone.  The walls of the tunnel continued to collapse and squeeze me with an almost unbearable pressure.  My sense was that I was at that moment dying, both in the grey world and the real world.

I could hear the Reiki master advising me to keep breathing, and relax.  She continued to try and keep me in the moment and to assure me that I was in fact safe.

At some point the pressure in my head became so intense I felt I could no longer stand it.  Just about then, my body began to contort as if pulled by some invisible force.  My left arm was pulled up and then stretched out painfully.  I felt my left shoulder bring dislocated.  Then I felt a real sense of panic as I felt myself stuck somehow. 

At this juncture the intense pressure in my head increased again, this time with a sharpness which would be hard to fully appreciate.  I could feel my jaw being pushed to one side and the terrible intensity of my head being crushed as my neck was being stretched.  These distortions and contortions were taking place in my physical body while I was also experiencing the associated feelings within this other world.

Somewhere within this period I lost the ability to speak.  Language entirely left me and all which remained was emotion and feeling.  I could make sound, but the sound was not one I understood.  Then I found that I could cry, but it was not a normal cry.  The sound I heard was that of a newborn baby.

Hearing myself make that sound I realized I had just re-experienced the traumatic events of my birth. 

The experience was so physically draining I could not walk.  It took some minutes before I could find any words of speech, and even so I could not say more than a few words.  I was freezing cold and totally stunned by what had just transpired.

During the course of this experience I was able to learn things about my birth which were unknown to me.  Later I was able to learn from my parents that my birth had been especially difficult.  During delivery I had become lodged in the birth canal and was pulled free by my left arm, the then subsequently using something called a high forceps delivery.  This apparently caused significant bruising to my face and head. 

I think of this as a pre-birth near death experience.  While I did not experience a heavenly realm, reliving those events though my Reiki session certainly convinced me that other spiritual realms do exist.     

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?         No      

Was the experience difficult to express in words?   Yes     While the experience was in a sense the recall of a pre-birth memory I was also aware of receiving some kind of non-verbal direction.  This was a kind of guidance for what of a better term.  It was more a knowing which came to me in such a way so I could better understand the experience.  It helped me to really comprehend that the experience was not a dream or a fabrication but rather an important event which would later serve me in other ways.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal    This is a difficult question to answer.  I was highly conscious and alert during most of the experience.  However there were moments when the reality of the events became entirely clear.    At some points in the experience my consciousness expanded to allow me to be physically present while also being entirely aware another aspect of me being present in another reality.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    The vision I had was not one of normal sight.  I'm not sure I would describe it as being more vivid, or more clear, it was simply different.  I had the distinct feeling that I was not seeing with eyes, but rather with my mind.  If I chose to see something I didn't have to actually look at it, but rather I would think about looking and in doing so I would see instantly what I wanted to see.  This is entirely different from the physical act of looking in which one has to turn your head or move your eyes, or focus your vision.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    I had not perception of any changes in hearing.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?    No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I felt confusion, uncertainty, fear, and panic at certain points.  However, in some portions of the experience I felt a kind of resolution that this was something I had to do and so I would follow through.  Under all that was a degree of confidence that somehow this was all OK because I was protected.  I don't have a specific way of explaining that feeling, aside from trust.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?           Yes     I do not think the tunnel I experienced was the one most commonly associated with NDEs.  However I did go through a tunnel.

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes     The light I describe in my experience was one of the more unusual parts of the it. That light was especially memorable.  As a photographer I work with light and lighting all the time.  For me the light stood as as being especially remarkable.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?            I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin    During the course of my experience I seemed to be guided or directed by a voiceless voice.  It was more like being aware of ones thoughts, much like the inner dialogue which speaks to us from within us.  However, this voice clearly seemed to be from a source outside myself, speaking to me, and through me all at the same time.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?         No   

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?    Yes     Yes, I re-experience my own birth.  In addition I was given insight into how this event effected my life and the lives of others with whom I've had a relationship. Some of the events of my birth which I experienced, were later verified as having taken place as I related them to my parents

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?          Some unfamiliar and strange place            Yes, this is the grey world I described in my earlier recollection of the event.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?     No      

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?            Everything about myself or others            Everything is a very big term and I'm not sure it accurately applies to my experience.  However I can say that my understanding of myself, others and the universe was expanded as a result of the experience.  I now see things differently than I did before the experience.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you come to a border or point of no return?       No      

Did scenes from the future come to you?       No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?        Yes     This is very difficult to describe because I can't clearly tell you how this special knowledge came to me in the experience.  It was more like a download which contained all the relevant information which made the experience make sense.  However, the experience did not seem to end with this single event. Over weeks, months and years to follow, that special information would pop up at specific points bringing me back to my own experiences and using them as examples which could be held out to allow me to see others through this unique lens.  In my pain suffering and fear I could then see those things in others.  But the special knowing offered me a context or a frame of reference from which to gain insight, and learn compassion and non-judgment.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Moderate changes in my life  My priorities began to shift towards matters of spiritual consideration.  I became much more aware of the need for compassion and understanding.  I began to seeking out a new direction in life which a more spiritually centered focus.      

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?    Uncertain     I think my life was already going in a more spiritual and compassionate direction. However this single experience seemed to accelerate changes which were under development, and perhaps create new opportunities for growth.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?    No    

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes   I shared the experience with my parents, my children and my wife, as well as close and trusted friends.  Their reactions have been mixed, but never negative.  I suspect that most have no idea about the actual meaning of the experience to me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     Yes, I have read about NDE before.  However after the experience I became much more curious and began to read everything I could on the subject.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:    Experience was definitely real    It is impossible for me to entirely state what the experience was real for me.  Much of what occurred was so exceptional as to be science fiction.  However, having lived it and felt it I can state with great certainty that it was neither a dream nor a delusion.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real           I have no doubt the experience was entirely real.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No   

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?  Yes, from time to time, as I meditate or do personal Reiki treatments I will have some of the same physical reactions in those areas injured during my birth trauma.  I have not however had anything close to the original experience.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes    So far as can be done with words this form does allow for an accurate description of most aspects of such an experience.  The experience itself however is almost beyond description.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The experience helped me see myself more clearly  and better understand some of the underlying physical issues which have plagued me throughout life.  However the most important aspect of this understanding is that it has allowed me to connect that which is physical with a corresponding spiritual cause.  In this I was able to free myself from feeling a victim, and in this I became empowered.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?        Some things are very difficult to put into words.  The sense of knowing which accompanied the other aspects of the experience is one of those things.  It is also difficult to describe what it feels like to simply know something is absolutely true without having evidence to support it.  I simply know with absolute certainty that we exist as spiritual beings apart from our physical selves,  While I know this to be true, I simply can't prove it.