Mark B's Experience

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Experience description:   

First, I want to explain that, while I did have this experience, I am not making a story up to make myself feel good about any beliefs that I may have.  I have a very rational life, with a rational job teaching electrical systems.  I would also like to point out that I have denounced traditional Christianity and any other forms of organized religion in order to search on my own for "the truth". 

I leave room for the notion that what happened to me may be the result of my own mind making up an answer to my burning questions of "where do we come from?", "why are we here?", "who or what is God, really?", "what is the truth about creation, us and the universe around us?" and "are we alone?"  However, the experiences I had in this dream/vision: PURE peace, love, happiness, contentment, joy and any other positive emotion imaginable were real. Also, I chose to post this only after discovering that there were many, many others who recount very similar accounts to mine.

I will describe this only as I remember it, as it was not too long ago.

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I have had an experience, though I'm not sure it was near death.  I believe it happened while I was sleeping one night, except I cannot recall on which night it occurred.  The dream/vision started with a strangely familiar presence gently holding my left hand as we traveled through what appeared to be a universe of almost complete darkness, yet there was still a misty light apparent.  During this time I felt complete contentment, life, love, peace and joy.  Shortly thereafter "we", my guide and I, passed by an immense radiant white light which seemed to be the source of the aforementioned emotions.  The light was slightly to "our" left and I felt I could easily be absorbed into it and would have done so willingly.  It was pure, blinding radiance of total joy, love, happiness, compassion, without fear...so warm, inviting, wonderful...life immaculate.  It seemed to be more brilliant than I would have been able to look into, yet I still could without trouble.

I was quickly pulled to the right and was "told" that I was to have something revealed to me that I so greatly longed for all of my life--reminded of something that I have always known but have been blinded to.  It is so hard to explain what I "saw" then.  It was like a brightly colored jewel, smaller, more compact than the large white light.  This jewel was like a "city" of color lights, but not really a city at all.  It radiated energy in seemingly random places like spikes of light or some type of energy.  From the left side of this "jewel" I could only feel my heart's anticipation of what was to come.  I was brought directly in front of this apparition and every fiber of my being became saturated with immeasurable excitement, rapture, love, tears...pure undeniable love...the word is truth.  I was shown the Truth...Truth of everything.  I now am not sure what I saw anymore because I feel that the revelation was hidden from me once again.  What I do remember was my proclamation of the words "I knew it!  I was right!  How could I have forgotten?  I am finally home!"  There was more, but it was along the same lines.  It was not a selfish oration, but confirmation of whatever beliefs I have.  I don't know what happened after that, but I felt I was returned to my physical self with a bang and I woke with a sudden start.  I still felt some of the elation even after awakening.

I do not fear death, but eagerly await it.  I want to go back, but will patiently wait for my time to come.  I feel that it is what I must do and I have no real choice in the matter.  The dream/vision was forgotten for a while but I recalled it in one amazing instant during a phone call to my mom the other night.

I have been told by a friend that the white light was God and the Jewel was Jesus Christ.  I did not see "them" as might be pictured in Christian children's books.  I believe I saw Love, The Truth, The Reason, The Answer I saw Them as They truly are.  I also understood and now understand that we are all one and of the same pure energy (akin to the idea of being children of God).  

Final thoughts:

- Everything's gonna be OK. 

- We have no idea what amazing, wonderful things are in store for us all later after this life.

As a side note, I recently had a good friend pass away after a vehicle accident.  She and I had numerous conversations about the "meaning of life and the hereafter".  We agreed that we would share it with each other if one of us died before the other.  Who knows?  I'd like to think she had a part in it, but I'm not sure.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

I have been on beta-blockers (Atenolol) for a heart condition described as sinus-tachycardia (sp?)

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain

I have been alerted to the possibility that I have sleep apnea, but I don't know if that can cause death.  I didn't feel that I was dead or dying.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Sleeping?

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes and no.  It was very vivid but was filled more with abstract emotions rather than visual or physical things.  The only thing really visible was light and energy radiation.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I felt I was still myself, not physically, but spiritually, stripped of the worries cares and problems I experienced before I slept.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No sound at all.  It seemed as though I was being spoken with through the mind.  Sounds goofy and New Age like, but that's the way it seemed.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Yes

One large source of light.  It seemed that the pure white light was brightest towards the center and emanated out in every direction but did seem to fade somewhat the further it was out from the center.  However, it did not seem like there was a limit to the distance the light reached.

The other light was like a rapidly changing concentration of multi colored light that spiked out erratically from different points.  The "strength" of which was at it's "face"?  It was not a face at all, but there was a center of something that had great power to do something.  For me, when I looked into it, I saw/felt the answers to all of my questions in a single instant.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

I did not see her or it (seemed like a female).  I just sensed the presence (held a hand?) and "heard" her "speak".

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain

I believe that I may have been reminded of the Truth long forgotten.  It will only be verified upon experiencing this again either by another dream/vision or dying.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Time did not matter or maybe did not exist as we now perceive it.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

It felt like the truth about everything was revealed.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes

The white light and the colored light.  I felt I could be absorbed into either one.  I also could have stayed on the outside as well.  Either way, it would have been OK.

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain

Heck, I wish I could, but cannot recall anything that was "revealed".  Trust me.  I really and truely wish I could remember something other than the confirmation that I was on the right track.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

This will sound really strange, but a lot of small children (ages about 0-6 or so) seem to be looking at me intensely lately.  They usually smile a lot and are really calm.  Many times, if they are crying incessantly, they stop just as I come into view and they stare at me.  What is strange is that they look me directly into my eyes.  It is a little unnerving.  But I just smile back and wave.  They do nothing in response, just stare and smile.  Some are not smiling, but looking intensely.  This has never really happened much before.  Now it is happening a lot.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

I do not fear death at all anymore.  I chose to live here and now, but will be accepting of death when my time comes.  I will also accept the deaths of others when their time comes.  But for now, I seem to be enjoying life a lot more lately.  I feel like it is all going to be just fine.  Don't sweat it kid, it all works out in the end just peachy.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am more accepting of...you know, I'm still not sure yet.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain

Don't know yet.  Not enough time has passed.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

 Indifference, or bland curiosity.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Greater joy, happiness, contentment.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was the revelation of Truth.  The worst...forgetting it.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I'd like to have this experience again.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

I try to meditate, but I'm not trained at it.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes