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Marisa S's Experience

Experience description:   

I was already familiar with having a kind of lucid dreams (since my early age) and some out-of-body experiences in the last years. I always had very vivid dreams, almost like movies with a specific beginning and ending and it’s very rare for me to have a non sense dream. If I wake up during a dream and fall a sleep again the dream continues exactly were I stopped like a weird pause-play sequence.

So, it was never a big deal for me to have lucid dreams or out-of-body experiences, but this experiences was really different from all those I had before. 

I was in other city doing a training seminar for journalist. That day was day-off from our training session, so I spent the all afternoon sleeping and after that I stayed in my room (inside the hotel) correcting the tests from the participants, very relaxed. I worked for 1 hour and since I had nothing to do and didn’t want to go out I just went to bed to relax (not to sleep). Then I fall asleep and after I had a lucid dream. Like the other lucid dream I had before, I realized in the dream that I was dreaming – but the dream was not so interesting (in the dream I was just inside the same room sleeping) so I decided to wake up because I only like to have lucid dreams when I found myself in the middle of a beautiful and interesting situation.

So I got up, went to the bathroom and back in the room, I tried to turn on the lights because was already very dark, that’s when I saw that I had no lights in the room, I tough to myself “oh, like always, we are out of energy here in this city of a province” so I searched for my bag where I knew I had a candle… then, I realized that something was not normal in the situation I was: the light of the candle was very intensive to be normal, so I knew I was steel dreaming… And in the dream I was dreaming that I was awake. From the moment I realized that I was still inside the dream I tried to wake up again having again the notion that I was in my bed sleeping and dreaming and that I could wake up because I knew that was just a dream.

So, I got up… I went to turn the lights on and discovered that like in the dream I had minutes before I was with no lights in the room. I smiled because I thought “we are really out of lights in this place, that’s why in the dream I could not turn on the lights”. Again, I went for the candle in my bag but, very weird: no candle in the bag! I felt strange, trying to understand what happened and what was happening in that moment, if I was dreaming before then was impossible that I had the capacity to take the candle out of the bag… But, I put my hand in the table and found the candle in the same place I leaved when I was dreaming. I felt a bit scared. Then something passed on my mind – Am I still dreaming? Did I wake up only in the dream again?

To prove myself if I was dreaming or not, I took a walk in the room, trying to find some elements that could elucidated me about my current stage. But everything was so normal and real, I was walking normally, the room was dark but I could see there was nothing out of place that could be related to a stage of dreaming. I felt confuse, it was the first time in my life that I didn’t knew if I was really awake or inside a lucid dream. Then, I decide to open the door and after doing that I saw a huge corridor full of lights, I got so scared that I closed the door again – that corridor did not exist in that hotel. So, I finally knew that I was still dreaming.

I was irritated with that situation and I decided to wake myself for real. In few seconds I felt myself in bed, with my eyes closed but knowing that I was dreaming and having in mind that I needed to wake up. So, I got up, but without open my eyes, it’s was difficult to open them and suddenly my body became paralyzed. I was awake but with no capacity to move myself. I had been in that kind of situation before so I knew that the only thing I could do was to relax and wait a little bit until I could make any move again.

I stay there waiting for that moment, when I don’t know how I was near the door. I felt so strange, thinking how I went out of bed so quickly. While near the door I turn on the light and for my satisfaction I saw I had lights in the room. Everything was just normal and I felt a kind of big relief thinking “oh, finally I am out of bed, for real”… But when I start walking to the table near the bed (to take a cigar) I felt almost petrified when I saw myself sleeping in the bed. I felt so sacred that I didn’t know what to think about… Then, I went closer to the bed to see and prove myself that I was really seeing my body in the bed. I tried to touch the body but it was like my hands had no consistence, I couldn’t touch it, I had no hands, I looked to my legs and I had no legs… then I realized that I had no body, the body was there in the bed.

Then I knew I was out of my body and that didn’t scare me but I felt it was amazing to have such experience. I looked at my body for long time (maybe 2 or 5 minutes), realizing that the body was relaxed and paralyzed. But, seconds later everything turned strange again, I felt myself in the body, not sleeping but just with my eyes closed and realizing that something was standing in front of me, looking at me… I open my eyes to see what it was and I saw I big light in front of me, but a very strange light, a light with life, in other words a living light… I tried to get out of bed but I realized that my body was still paralyzed. I also felt a sensation that something was missing inside me, like all my energy was out of me, it was like I only had body and mind, nothing else. It was a very weird sensation. I was feeling more and more out of energies and my eyes closed again because I had no energy to keep them open. From the moment I closed my eyes again I was once more in front of the bed looking at my body.  

What fallowed it’s the most weird and very different part of this experience: I realized that I was divided in two. Beside the body, I had two other things that were separated… because I could feel at the same time, simultaneous, my mind in one place (attached to the body) and other part of me out of the body.

The out-of-body experiences I had before was more like all myself leaving the body, like a separation from the material and nonmaterial me. But, in this experience, I had two side of the nonmaterial me separated. And what I know is that one was like my mind, the more rational and more linked to material side of me (the one I could have feelings of fear, of being awake, and disturbed with all that situation), and the other one was something more free, independent and very unknown of fear or worried of what was happening.   

While feeling awake, in my bed and conscious that a part of me (the one who have all my energies) was out of my body, I put my mind to think how to stop that situation and I knew the only way was to have that part back inside me, the part that was around the room moving freely.  At the same time, I was in the middle of the room looking at my body and knowing that inside my body was something else calling me to get back in the body… Once more, this part of me, out of the body, went close to the bed and sited near the other part of me. I felt like crying when I was looking to myself in the bed trying to wake up, paralyzed and with an expression of fear in the face… The face had the expression of someone in a state of affliction but I couldn’t do anything… I saw the body feeling cold and I knew that I (the one in the bed) wanted to pull the blanket and cover myself but with no energy to do that… The part of me that was out of the body tried to pull the blanket and cover the body but like I was expecting I couldn’t to that because I had no hands…  At the same time, the part of me inside the body was fighting to get out pf the bed and knowing that the other part of me was just there near my bed looking at me and out of my body.  

And then, the part of me that was out of the body went away, opening the door and leaving the room. I felt so scared (the part of me who was steel inside the body), thinking that it was the end of everything and that maybe I would not got up anymore. I tough that maybe I was death, that like people usually say when you die your spirit or soul (I don’t know very well about this kind of things) leaves the body… But why I was there feeling alive but only paralyzed – if that was the feeling of being death then was a very unfair situation, in a sense that it is so painful to feel death and at the same time alive. And at the same time, I was out side, flying over the city and to other places and knowing that part of me was stuck in that bed wanting and waiting to be free of that paralyzed stage.

I can tell, this is the most unpleasant feeling someone can have – being in two different places at the same time, having a sense of belonging to different worlds or dimension of life at the same time, knowing that one part need another one to be complete and, the most unpleasant, feeling alive and conscious in two separated forms of living.  

So, my experience can be reduced in to having myself on two different forms at the same time, one knowing about the stage and conditions of the other one, one knowing that I am myself and especially feeling awake in the two different and separated forms of myself. Not dreaming, not just a lucid dreaming, not just an out-of-body experience… What was that? Until know I don’t understand how and why that happened to me, I just know that only when the part of me that was out of body returned again to my room and place itself near my body and mind… I knew that beside the body there is something else we have and that is not only a one kind of thing, but two kind of things… what are they, I don’t know.  

Well, after having the other part of me on the bed near my paralyzed body with a vivid mind, I could always looked to my right side and see the bright and strong light there - the part of me out of my body, and at the same time while having myself near my body I could see so clear my entire body and feel that something else was inside the body, awake and waiting for me. Finally, all ended, when the part of me inside the body decided to fall a sleep again… and dream, dreaming that I was in my bed waiting for the other part of me to get back inside the body. In that moment, I heard my cell phone ringing and I wake up, it was 03:00 am I had my sister on the line (she was in other city and I was so surprised she was calling me at that hour). She asked me if everything was all right with me because she was just awake from a lucid dream where she saw me in her room and felt so surprised because she knew I was in other city, she looked at me and knew I was not in my normal form but like a kind of spirit, walking in her room almost flying with my feet out of the floor, then she said I got close to her and told her I was in a big affliction and something very bad was about to happened with me.  She started to scream and I just disappeared from her room… She said she went to my mother’s room and found my mother awake also from a strange dream: my mother was dreaming about me, that I was near a precipice calling for help. So, that’s when my sister called me to certificate that I was fine.  

After answer the phone call, I was feeling very strange… I was afraid that I was steel dreaming and not knowing anymore if I was awake or dreaming. Then, the lights went off. I went out side the hotel and saw that we were having a energy cut... We had no lights in the hotel until the first hours in the morning. The guard of the hotel come to ask me if I needed a candle and then I felt more comfortable knowing that I was really awake and back to my normal stage of life.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           during most of the experience feeling very awake, conscious and in a kind of alert level.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   For me, I think was something like a lucid dream, mixed with some moments of half dreaming-half awake level.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain      I experienced the consciousness in the body and out of the body at the same time. When out of the body I was like a kind of light, with no material form, with no capacity to touch anything material, with the capacity to fly and less feelings of fears, doubts or confusion.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            difficult to explain. When out of the body - very relaxed, somehow pure and with a very high level of understanding for what was happening. While in the body - feeling scared, confused, with no body energy but with a very vivid mind and feeling of something was missing in myself.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           The sounds I heard was when in the body - I could hear the sounds of the other part of me moving, like the sound of a soft wind. When out of the body I don't remember to hear any important or relevant sound.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    Yes            when in the body, I was in the very same room. Out of the body, when I was flying I could recognize the same city I was and my own city where I live.

Did you see a light?           Yes     I saw different kind of lights in different moments. One, in a huge corridor that in reality doesn't exist. One when I was in the body looking to the other part of me out of the body (the part out of the body was a big light with different shades of bright colors).

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes    

I don't remember visit a family member (but my sister told me she saw me in her room during her lucid dream). I tried to touch my own body when I was out of the body but I couldn't do it. I tried to move a bucket but I also couldn't do it.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     After all the experience, when I was thinking in all that just happened to me, the lights went off - with had a energy cut in the hotel, until the first hours of day light.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Uncertain            I could see everything very clear... Even when I had no lights in the room. I could feel my hear was more vivid to the very single sounds.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     when out of body I could feel flying so easily through distances and places. When I was in the body I had the sense of how many minutes were passing during each different moments.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain            Usually when I have my lucid dreams I am always connected with different forms of life and forces, sometimes creatures of good, some times evil creatures. When I have normal dreams, 90% of them are about me in the middle of powerful creatures and forces, in places that look like the earth in beginning of times, and most of times I am talking/in conversation and dialogues with this creatures... Sometimes speaking a language that I don't know but I understand the messages and all of them are about the secrets of life.

Sometimes, when I am not dreaming, in my normal day-by-day life I have strange moments when I feel something invisible near me, sometimes good and sometimes evil. And many times I found myself living in two different worlds at the same time.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     The times that I had crossed the limits of physical structure, I felt that I would not go back again to my normal life if I don't run back quickly. Once I think I reached a special boundary, I was having a lucid dream: I was in a place with a group of old men, and I knew that was a very special place that few people could have been there... the older man took me for a walk and told me: I want to give you he secret of life, I felt so scared because in that moment I knew that if I had that i would never go back to my home, to my life and that's when I made myself wake up from the dream.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes     Yes, it happens many times. I have a dream and days, months or years later it happens in real life. But, I never know when something that I saw in my dreams will really happen. Only when it happens I know that my dream was a aware of a future event.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     When this happens its when I know that I am in danger of nothing coming back again to my body.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     In attitudes I am less scared of the "unreal world", I also fear less life in general and I have a new sense of what is really important in my life.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       in relationships - I have a more high level of understanding for people's mistakes and fears, but I am less sensitized by people normal complains about their lives, I feel also more detached from my relationship bounds, I have a strange new feeling of myself and that makes me divided in a life of two different and parallel realities: the inner world (inside myself) and the world out side (around me). Religious - I am not a religious person, and after the experience I feel the same way about religion.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain      I don't know yet. Only thing I know is that I have a new sense of what I am and what I want from life.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared only with my boyfriend at the time. He didn't say a word.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  I feel more detached from my relationship bounds, I have a strange new feeling of myself and that makes me divided in a life of two different and parallel realities: the inner world (inside myself) and the world out side (around me).

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was feeling, in a very real way, that I am more than just a body and mind. The worst part was to realize that I when "that something" goes out of the body there is something else that stays in the body that nobody ever told me about and that I don't know what it is the importance of each part of me regarding my own life as a living human.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        Yes. I tried to find out (but with no lucky) if my experience could be something like the difference of body, spirit and soul... or it is something else, I am really curious about it because I never heard about same experiences. If I can know about similar experiences will be great.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Uncertain      Well, maybe yes, maybe no. It was a long experience, almost a entire night. Some other details are not described here, because I don't know if they are relevant or not.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Yes. I think will be good to always ask if the person communicating his/her experience got a vivid or strong powers of imagination. Myself, I have. And sometimes I make myself believe that everything strange that happens to me is a product of my fertile imagination.