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Maria M's Experience

Experience description:   

My mother died unexpectedly when I was 18 years old. For 2 years (prior to NDE) I was so sad, so depressed that I wanted to die so badly but I couldn't take my life. My body was living but my spirit my soul was dead. One day the need to die was so profound that I went to my bedroom and prayed for god to take me.  I didn't want to live without my mother.  I wanted to be with her so badly that I begged god to just take me away from all the pain and despair. While laying on my bed begging to die I felt my heart slowing down and I drifted off. Then darkness. It was dark yet not completely dark. There was some light but it appeared to be very far away.  I started to notice that I was in a tunnel. It was shimmering with light almost golden textures but not like anything I've seen before. The light was far from me in the distance.

I'm looking down but I can't see my feet. I see some water not like a river or a stream but rather water running on a surface after a heavy downpour of rain. I also saw some kind of golden rocks as well. I see the rocks and at that point I noticed I'm not alone. Others are traveling with me but I don't know who they are yet I feel like I know them. I can't see their faces or bodies just silhouettes. Some fall or struggle due to rocks but I don't stop. I just know they don't make it to the bright light.  The light is so bright now. I'd say it's the brightness whiteness I've ever seen. I felt no pain, no grief, no sorrow. I felt so light so free so bright and pure love is the best way to describe it in words. It's pure it's everything it's our beginning.  I see all the light at the end now and two beings of light on opposite sides of an entrance.  Guardians.  Light figures as white as light but I can see a figures somehow. I hear my voice say I want to come in I want to be here.  I hear you can not come. My voice responds why I've been good I don't want to go back please. I hear it's not your time you have more to do. 

At that moment I'm laying in my bed and all the pain and sorrow I was feeling was gone. A weight was lifted my spirit returned and I was reborn wanting to live. My faith restored and knowledge of the light that awaits me.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The whole experience I was very alert and conscious. But so much more at entrance to the light

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            The whole experience I was very alert and conscious. But so much more at entrance to the light

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     Yes. Hopefully my description of my experience will shed some light.  The light alone is brighter that any sun or star.  The guardian light beings are light yet I could separate them from the light all around the entrance.  I still remember the golden shimmer of the tunnel, the clear silky water the flowed, the others that stumbled from rocks

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            Yes     Sounds felt within me

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Scared of the dark at first, as the light entered the fear stopped. I never wondered where am I ?so I was determined to go on even thought others fell I didnt stop to help. I had to go on without them.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     After darkness my journey through the tunnel began

Did you see a light?           Yes    

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I saw others in the tunnel as silhouettes and I felt like I knew them but didn't know why. I did not communicate with them. At the end I saw the light beings and we communicated

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Tunnel was wide and long. The light seemed so far away yet not. The space itself had earth type elements (water/rock) yet very different at the same time

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes            This experience left me with one conclusion we are special. We have a purpose. We are loved. All those who experienced NDE know the pure light the pure love and weightless of it.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     I couldn't cross w/ out permission

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I have some ESP & sometimes see colors when speaking or hearings sounds or words

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Father... A few months after it.  He was very open because he shared his experience with me. He had one as well but his guardian saved him from drowning as a child

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Uncertain            Not really. Just knew about heaven and hell

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    All the pain and sorrow I was feeling was gone as soon as I returned

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    In darkness in the spirit god there's light

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            Very real and I need to remember it

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
Yes     Before the NDE I lost my faith and after NDE it was restored

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   Are there any other people out there who experienced a NDE without a physical injury or actual death due to injury?  My NDE was due to deep grief and sorrow.  Any one else out there with a similar experience?