wanted to have a natural child birth and at the request of my midwives, I put
together a birth plan. What I
wanted, what I didn't, etc.
wanted a natural child birth experience.
did not want any medication
She was to stay attached to the placenta until I said it was time (once she was
breathing and latched on)
am a huge Attachment Parenting believer and felt the experience of labor was an
After my water broke, the contractions became mind altering.
I was screaming for hours.
That I remember. But I had said no
medication. Even if I asked for it,
I had refused it for myself. I had
no idea what labor felt like and I had now idea I was having back labor (when
the head comes out face up instead of face down so the skull drags along the
spine the whole way down). At some
point closer to the delivery I realized I was on the ceiling of the hospital
room watching everyone. I could see
my husband, the midwife, the nurses coming in and out.
I could see myself lying in the bed, all the monitors etc.
Time stood still and all of a sudden I was back in my body and I had the
INCREDIBLE urge to push. (Not to be too personal but it was an orgasmic urge to
push. Women who have given birth
naturally will understand this.)
Everything after that was about the trauma of the pain.
For months I would cry just talking about it.
I definitely suffered PTSD and I believe the pain was so excruciating, I
had an out of body experience to survive the experience.
Any associated medications or
substances with the potential to affect the experience?
They did give me mdication once the
painful contractions started around 10pm but the intense labor lasted 8 1/2
hours and I remember it being around 3 or 4 am when I left my body.
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
At the time of this experience, was
there an associated life threatening event?
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I was fully conscious when I was on the
ceiling looking down.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
I remember it vividly but I do remember the room being a bit foggy like.
Did you experience a separation of
your consciousness from your body?
Yes I looked like me on the ceiling and
like me in the bed.
What emotions did you feel during
I just watched.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
Did you see a light?
Did you meet or see any other
Did you experiment while out of the
body or in another, altered state?
Did you observe or hear anything
regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Did you notice how your 5 senses
were working, and if so, how were they different?
Did you have any sense of altered
space or time?
Yes I have no idea how long I was
there. I was shuttled back to my body as
soon as I felt the urge to push.
Did you have a sense of knowing,
special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
Did you become aware of future
Were you involved in or aware of a
decision regarding your return to the body?
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts
following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?
Did you have any changes of
attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes I was in shock.
I was horrified my body could do this to me. I was very mad at myself for
self-inflicting this pain on myself.
How has the experience affected
your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
I was (and still am a little
bit)mad at my husband for not stepping in and taking over my care.
I had to leave my body to survive.
It was so traumatic I became very introverted.
Has your life changed specifically
as a result of your experience?
Yes I had no more children.
I would never go through that pain again.
I felt betrayed.
Have you shared this experience
Yes That is a good question, their
reactions to the OBE was nothing. Almost
like they didn't hear me say it. It was almost as if they ignored that part and
told me I should be happy because my daughter was healthy.
After a few weeks I realized no one wanted to hear about the trauma
anymore and I stopped talking about it.
What emotions did you experience
following your experience?
myself, (interestingly enough, never angry at my daughter) I felt like I had
been violated by my own self. I cried for
at least one year whenever I would think about or talk about it.
What was the best and worst part of
The worst was
the pain. The best was the OBE.
I had no pain. In the following
months, the best was a day with no tears and the worst was depression. No one
could understand and thought I was crazy about the OBE.
Is there anything else you would
like to add concerning the experience?
Looking back, I
realize there is a transformation from a Maiden to a Mother and the pain of
childbirth is a part of that transformation.
It breaks down the former and remolds us into Mothers.
Following the experience, have you
had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced
any part of the experience?
Did the questions asked and
information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
Yes I realize this experience was a
survival response to the pain but it opened up a door for me that now 17 years
later I am embracing. Embracing that we
are able to experience other realities here on earth.
I have had two vivid dreams where God came to me and well, that's for
Please offer any suggestions you
may have to improve this questionnaire.
experience was 17 years ago, my feelings then are completely different than my
feelings now. Perhaps a little compare
your feelings now vs then.