Lauren R's Experience


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Experience description:   

I was at home alone on a Saturday afternoon, my parents out and my older sister at work. I had just finished watching a movie and went outside with my dog, as it was a nice afternoon and the sun was shining quite brightly. I sat down on the steps like I normally do and closed my eyes, basking in the sun. The wind was blowing lightly on my face and I was imagining what it would be like to fly. I tried to imagine my body lifting slowly off the steps. Suddenly my stomach sort of lurched, and I opened my eyes. I was still in the same position however, not in the air or anything. But my eyesight was blurry, and my dogs fur (that is a snowy white) was glowing really brightly, and I had to shut my eyes again because the glow was getting brighter.

The sensation I felt is very hard for me to describe, but all I know is it felt a lot like I needed to pull out of my body, because it hurt to stay inside of myself, if that even makes sense. I don't know how long I sat there, but after what felt like a long time I stood up quite unsteadily, and went back inside. Once inside, I felt a weird desire to hold my arms out at my sides, so I stretched out and when I had stretched as far as I could, I suddenly felt this weakness wash over me and I fell onto the floor. I was completely conscious, but my senses were..weird. The way I was breathing, it felt strange and sounded unreal. It sounded like I was hearing myself breathe behind glass or something. I shut my eyes tightly and felt like I was spinning. Then I was seeing things, even though my eyes were shut. I saw myself straining to get out of my body, desperately trying to raise myself out of...myself!

Then I opened my eyes and had to breathe very heavily, I felt so weak and like I'd just run a marathon, I was so tired and it felt as if my limbs weren't attached to my body, like it was just my mind floating around. The next few moments were strange, as I stood again and went into the TV room, where there are floor to ceiling mirrors along one wall. I had to lean against the mirrors because I had no energy to do anything else. I stood there and the next part is extremely hard to describe. I saw myself, up against the mirror. But then, I saw a blurred version of me again trying to climb out of my body, pulling away from the mirror. My insides felt as if they were being wrenched from my body and I felt like I had no..essence, really. This blurred version of me then stood behind my body, just watching. It was breathing heavily, just like I was, slumped in the same position as I but not leaning against anything. It was then that I swayed backwards and fell on the floor and I stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. After this I got myself a glass of water and came on the internet to see if this had happened to anyone else - which brought me to this site. As I type this now I still feel weak and strange, like I don't belong where I am and that I should be somewhere else..I can't possibly describe where, I just know that this isn't right. My hands are actually shaking and I can't comprehend what just happened to me!

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No


Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

It felt surreal, like something from a movie...it was unbelievable

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Wavered as the experience continued

           
Was the experience dream like in any way?   No, I felt very conscious...just faint.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I felt sad, and like it wasn't right. I felt desperate to escape myself and like something was restricting my chest and that I needed to breathe. Desperation was the major emotion.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Just that my breathing and the birds tweeting outside sounded surreal, like I wasn't hearing it, more just..knowing it was there.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

The glowing light coming from my dogs fur...I'm not sure how I can describe that other than that it hurt my eyes because it became stronger.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Uncertain

I only noticed that they seemed strange, more defined in a way but also like they weren't really there.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain

i was merely unaware of the periods of time, as if time didn't matter or wasn't there.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Its only been about an hour since it happened (I think) so the only way in which I'm vaguely affected is that I feel...not alive almost, I feel like this isn't what I am meant to be.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  An unbelieving emotion like, 'what..was...that?!'

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was that I felt more alive than ever before when I was outside trying to pull away from my body, and the worst was falling on the floor because it felt like I had no control

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No, I think you pretty much covered everything!!