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Laine S's Experience

Experience description:   

In my younger days, I had experimented with some illegal drugs, pot, LSD was my favorite.  I had always had a connection with nature and felt a longing to go camping and hiking.  I have also had premonitions and deja vu experiences and pretty much wrote them off as normal.  I now see they are not normal for most people.  I was staying in an apartment with a couple of roommates installing cable in a town close to Lake Eire. I decided to take a mind vacation and drop some LSD. I had noticed that when I turned my attention to thing or person I could see with my mind the inside of it and gain an understanding that was beyond just physical form.  As I was taking a walk to a nearby park, I thought "If I could take that attention and turn it inward, what would I see?"   

After I arrived at the park, I settled down on a stump in the woods.  I could feel the trees and sensed the leaves falling close by and I started to meditate.  I had experimented with meditation and had trouble quieting my mind but it was not a problem that night.  After a short period of time, maybe 10 minutes, I sensed a presence nearby.  I opened my eyes to see a person sitting across from me.  He smiled when I saw him and I asked who he was.  He said he was my future\higher (Same thought) self.  Needless to say I was rather shocked.  We discussed many things.  He pointed out to me events in my life that led up to experiences that I had were not accidents and that there are no accidents or coincident.  He showed me several examples and showed me that circumstances were created for me that dissolved after I no longer needed them.  It was eye-opening to have somebody walk me through my life and point out things I missed. 

I asked questions and he provided me with answers that I had been searching for all my life.  He was very wise and understanding.  I can't remember everything we discussed anymore but it gave me a new perspective on what I am and how my life had been set up.  I talked but when he spoke, his mouth never moved, I just understood what he was saying.  After a while, I just thought a question and he responded.  I remember feeling amazed at that ability.  He said I had it before but was not aware of it.  As we finished, I thanked him and could feel an energy of love that was wonderful. We got up to leave and as I turned away I felt him approach me and when we touched, we merged.  A small word for what happened.  I still cannot find words for it.  At that moment, I received hundreds of premonitions about my future.  My future wife's head from the rear, vehicles I would own, places I would be, people I would meet. circumstances in the future.  It was amazing and I could scarcely hold it in.  Most of which have come to pass.  My mind was opened and I had the wisdom I could only guess he had.  I had all the answers to physics and time and space I wondered about and I could see my place and everything else.  I had all the answers!  Tears filled my eyes as I could feel the presence of the woods around and the Love that flowed through me and around it.  We were one then.  I was one with all of it.  I was completely centered and had all the answers.  But they were in thought form, I could not explain any of it.  I had no words for what I understood.  It didn't matter that I could not explain it.  I also felt a change in me.  I was no longer the same.  I was not motivated by the petty concerns I had before.  It all seemed so small.  I became something much larger.  I felt as though I had evolved in some way.  I cried at the thought that the next day I would be what I was before, but in the coming days I found out that I had permanently changed.  I was no longer disconnected from life, I was in it. (still no words can come close) Colors are more intense now and my feelings are more intense too.  I have become much more spiritual and empathetic to people.   

I don't know how I got to the top of a hill but when I got to the top were I saw a pavilion of benches to my left.  I looked out over the lake and the view and the feeling were breathtaking.  On my right was a factory of some sort with lights blazing, on the left were pilings going out for a mile or so to a lighthouse with the light casting it's light around.  In front of me was steps going down on both sides of a concrete outcropping to a shell shaped pool.  I walked down to the pool and dipped my hand in the water.  The pool was connected to the lake by a wide, flat slab that when the waved rolled onto it, they flattened out to a shimmering wave.  It was very beautiful and colorful in a way I have never seen.  The next day I took my roommate out there to show him and it was not in any way what I saw. No shell, just a sandy beach were some children were playing.  When I described it to him, he just laughed.   

I was getting hungry and it was about 3AM.  I had to drive to find a place to get some food.  As I was driving, I stopped at a light and a woman driving a car turned across me and I saw her face.  All at once I knew her story.  I felt what she felt.  She was an angry person blaming others for all her problems.  When I got to the convenience store, the only place open, I walked in and the clerk there, I knew his story too.  He was laid off form a steel job. (not a stretch for that area at the time) But I knew he got the job to pay for his family, a wife and an son.  A woman walked in and I felt her pain too.  She just left her husband because of abuse and took her two children with her.  I don't know how I knew but I did.   

What I did not know at the time was when my roommate took the same drugs, he had an OBE bouncing around the room.  When he went to visit the guy who sold the drugs, he was gone leaving only a cryptic poem on his apartment door about loosing his mind.  He was not seen for another two years when he showed up in a mental institute not knowing where he had been for those two years. 

In the resulting years I have searched for answers.  I knew what happened but I was looking for somebody who could tell me and give the answer to the question I dared not ask - "What now?"  What do you do with this?  I was permanently changed for the better.  I looked to standard religion and got at best blank expressions.  At the worst, respected religious figures claimed possession.  HA! imagine I am possessed by my true self! Who would not want such a thing?  I went to a conference one day in Houston where they spoke of spiritual and energy movement.  When we broke into small groups, I told my story to the leader and he had no words, just a blank expression.  When I asked him what had happened he said he had no idea and he was just doing what he was instructed to do.  I walked out and the others laughed and left.  I found out later it was a franchise and people were making money off the others there.  I'm glad I at least shut down my group.   

Please make no mistake, I am nowhere near perfect.  I have my problems, stresses, still some doubts and questions.  Everybody does stupid things from time to time.  I make some big mistakes.  The difference is, I am no longer bound by them.  I am free in a way I can't explain.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No      LSD

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    There are no words for it.  Words are so small.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?            Extremely alert and very conscious. 

Probably the most conscious I had been in my life up to that point.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  Not at all.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Awe, Love, Peace,

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?          I could hear a young woman laughing the entire time but could not find her (I looked!)

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?        No     

Did you see a light?         No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Uncertain     I guess so.  

It was me!  I can't put into words all that was communicated but I was modified.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?     Yes    Every sense I had was intensively functional and then some.  I also had additional senses.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes    Timeless, I had no sense of time.  Nor was I paying attention to time.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    I understood everything. 

Universal order, my place, man's place.  Gifts given and held back. 

Nothing is a coincidence - Why does the liberty bell have a crack in it? 

Freedom is never free nor perfect.  Just like us.

Why is Nuclear power dirty?  Just like our current state of refinement, there is a price to pay for power.  It will not always be so.  We are "allowed" to discover massive power.  What we have been allowed to know has been carefully considered.  We live under Adam's curse.  It will be lifted at some time.  When we are ready.  Not before.  We are definitely not ready now.  There are too many animalistic people in the world.  We, as a race, are evolving into something greater what what we are.  There will be growing pains, but it will be successful.  Just like individual humans, the human race as a whole does not like pain.  But there is no growth, personal or collectively, that does not involve pain in some way. 

Some knowledge has faded over time or maybe it's just that lessons learned that have been built upon have been forgotten. Like learning how to walk, who remembers what learning how to walk was after you learned to dance? 

Order is:  crawl,  walk,  run,  fly,  soar 

When we become more, the universe will change in response our change.

Look around, we are changing faster and our world is as well.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No     

Did you become aware of future events?      Yes    I had hundreds of premonitions that have almost all come true.  They have been extremely accurate.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes    Premonitions continued for quite some time. 

Inner knowledge of things I had no way of knowing.

After I gave up looking for answers, the abilities slowly faded away but not completely.  I have had a hard time now trying to bring them back.

It's better not to push them away.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?          Yes    It changed my view on just about everything.  Nothing was left untouched.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       It effected the way I do things, I no longer could do things half-heartedly.

I know God is real.  I knew I had a purpose.  I knew I was loved. I know there is a part of me that is outside of time. I could no longer use people.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       Yes          Difficult to explain but I KNOW All will be alright.  Not just believe.

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    Up until recently, it was all negative or at best a blank expression.

I had given up looking for anybody who could relate until recently.

I read a book on Remote Viewing and I started searching again.

The Internet is an awesome place to find anything.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Incomparable PEACE!! 

Love at an intensive level.

Wonderful curiosity!

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    Best part was the change.  I was better after. 

Worst part is I could find no-one who could relate for 23 years.

Wasted time perhaps?  I don't think so. 

I have learned so much since then.

But how often have you said to yourself "I wish I knew then what I know now."?

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       I had several other experiences since then.  This was the first.  I have dreams and visions now and then.  It has been quite a while since anything this big has happened. 

Please don't interpret this as a confirmation that drugs are good.  I have so many more horror stories about drugs, death and destruction.  I have lost friends to drugs.  I gave them up decades ago because of some problems they caused.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?          Yes    Every time after I would use LSD, it brought back the frame of mind that I had.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           No      I still can't explain completely what happened.  I don't have words for it or even if there are words for it.  It's just too big.  I wish I could download it to someone or take a piece of myself and put it in somebody's head.  (Maybe that's exactly what happened!)