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Kim's Experience

Experience description:   

This was my first ever job, I had been working as a receptionist in the payroll department of some company that offered janitor services for a little less than 3 months - My immediate superior was a lady whom nobody at the office liked very much. Prior to getting fired from that job she had made my life a living hell; she was constantly on my back, looking over my shoulder and criticizing and belittling me, screaming and calling me names (stupid, lazy, incompetent, etc...)  

One Friday when I had worked overtime to finish a rush job, my superior and I were the last ones left at the office and she asked me in a calm voice to come see her in her office after I was done with my work -  When I went into her office, she told me to close the door behind me, which I did, after what I asked for permission to sit and she said "No" - At which point she started to scream at me in a way that, seriously I never thought it was possible for a person to scream so loud. He face was red, her eyes looked like they were going to pop-out of her head and spit was coming out of her mouth as she screamed at me every insults in the book.

I was so scared, I wanted to run away but I couldn't move, I wanted to cry but I could barely breathe. I don't remember much of what she said except for words like "stupid, lazy, incompetent" everything sounded blur and with like an echo. Then I'm not sure exactly when it occurred but I realized at one point that I was witnessing her screaming at me at the third person.  It felt like I was watching her from the ceiling above and at the complete other end of the room, the furthest away from her possible. I don't recall seeing my physical self although I did feel a presence at the spot where my physical self should have been standing at but somehow I felt completely dissociated from that being; it didn't occur to me at the time that it might have been me and it didn't strike me as odd either. 

I don't know how long it lasted. It felt to me like she screamed at me for several hours but, I don't know, It probably lasted just a few minutes. I don't recall how it ended and neither do I remember how I got back home. All that I remember after was being back at home, crying in my father's arms.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      Not life threatening but was traumatizing

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I'm not sure. I think that my conscious self didn't want to be there hence why it felt like I witnessed being fired at the third person. I don't think that I was alert since I was unable to escape.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Kind of. It didn't feel like it was really happening.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No      

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was scared of her but not of experiencing the situation at the third person. The later didn't strike me as odd at all; there was kind of a sense of security to it.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           As stated earlier everything sounded blur and there was like an echo. Most of what she said/screamed was incomprehensible except for words like stupid, lazy, incompetent that I heard loud and clear.  

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes     I was unable to speak, scream or cry and I was unable to move. My vision seemed fine despite the fact that I was seeing this scene from the ceiling and my sense of hearing was definitely altered (blurry and Echo)

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I don't recall how long I been screamed at, it felt like hours but it probably would have been less than that and I don't remember how I got home.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Uncertain      When witnessing from the ceiling of the room, I was aware of the ceiling and while I was unable to leave the room physically, there is no reason why my conscience or non-physical self couldn't have escaped the room, but it did stay within the room after all. I didn't get a sense that something would happen if I'd cross that boundary, in fact it didn't occurred to me to try to cross it.

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No      

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?   No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No      

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Witnessing myself getting fired at the third person didn't change any beliefs, attitude, relationships or career choice but getting fired sure did affect my trust in people, especially in employment situation and have left me wondering for a long time why I got fired. I have been fired from 2 other jobs after this one (no out of body or unusual experience though) which led me to self-questioning and to seek answers for what happened which, in turn led me to a neuropsychologist many years later. Turns out that I have dyscalculia and some kind of a mild visual processing problem which explains why I was making so many careless mistakes leading to frequent firings.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Uncertain      I did tell a few people about getting fired but never about watching the whole scene at the third person from the ceiling.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  sadness, anger, guilt, shame, etc... but those emotions were not the result of watching scene at the third person from the ceiling. They were the results of getting fired for reasons that seemed unfair.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was the sensation that what was happening wasn't really happening, the sensation of not really being there - My boss was screaming at me, the person standing in the middle of her office, yet it didn't feel like I was that person as I was watching this from a different perspective. 

The worst part was obviously when she first started screaming at me, I wanted to go away but couldn't and I wanted to cry and couldn't - I felt like I was trapped; a scary and uneasy feeling

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        Just an observation: I got fired from 3 jobs in my life and also unfortunately was the victim of 2 armed robberies where my life has been directly threatened. Interestingly, It took me a few weeks to a month to get over the armed robberies and years to get over getting fired. I don't hate the men that stuck a gun to my head but I still resent, despise with a passion my bosses and co-worked that made fun of and fired me. These people, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive completely what they did to me.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes