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Kim B's Experience

Experience description:   

I was in my daughters' playroom looking out the window. She was climbing on her sister's easel and I was telling her to get down so she wouldn't get hurt. I suddenly had an intense urge to look up. I was telling myself, "I can't believe this is happening". My daughter was chattering away but I don't know what she was saying. My entire body began to feel like it was magnetized. There was an intense yellowy-gold light that came down from the sky just beyond the tree outside the window I was 'looking' out. This light felt like it was pulling me. It was like a giant magnet and I had a trillion tiny pieces of metal just beneath my skin (I didn't think this at the time - this is not the best description but the only one I can put into words). I was being pulled ever so slightly by the 'magnet'. I started thinking about God and immediately the pull felt to move from pulling me forward to pulling me upwards. I can still feel this change in my body when I think about it.  It's kind of like being in the ocean and how the waves can change where you're going in an instant.

As soon as I thought of God the direction changed from straight out in front of me to about 165 degree up towards the sky in front of me. I could feel my body starting to separate from me (I was not losing consciousness). The light seemed warm and more than inviting. I was lost to a feeling of absolute peace and love. An indescribable feeling of calm and comfort. A love beyond measure or comprehension had picked me up. In that instant I knew this was what eternity would feel like. I heard my daughter. I said (even though I had no verbal words) that she needed me. I heard what I think was the television down the hall counting down to zero. Something told me to just let go and I would have this peace forever, but I couldn't leave her. I looked over at her. She smiled. I looked back towards the window.

The light was even more intense. It seemed like I started to float out of my body, but I could feel myself being pulled and I could feel my head tilting back and my arms being pulled up and my chest seemed to be being pulled right up towards the brightest part of the light above me. No words could ever describe the pure love and peace that was in me. It covered every other feeling or thought I had. It made everything else turn into nothing to me. There was some kind of music or singing but nothing I've ever heard before all around me. I wasn't aware of anything except the feeling the light was putting into me. It was an unattainable sense of peace and an undiluted blanket of love. I felt like I was becoming one with it. The tree and the grass and the birds all seemed to be moving to the rhythmic motion of the vibrating 'music' or 'singing' that seemed to move like a heartbeat would if it was really slowed down. I thought for an instant that it was my heartbeat slowing down and nature was being pulled and pushed by it. It felt like my eardrums were being pulled and pushed by the 'sound'. Now I felt pulled forward rather than up. Then I thought again of my daughter. Where is she? She was still on the easel and still smiling like she was last time I looked at her. I again said without talking that she needed me.

Then I said that I needed to stay and let people know about what I now knew. I was being told not to forget. I was certain I wouldn't. Before that thought even ended I was told not to forget that this is real. The peaceful loving pull began pulling my chest upwards one more time and I could once again hear something counting down. I knew this was my decision. I heard someone say to just let go and I kept thinking that all I had to do was submit to this powerful light and I'd be taken care of forever. I knew in that moment that nothing except that love in the light mattered and for all eternity I would be a part of that light, loving and being loved, but without real knowledge of it because when the peace and love overcomes you it's all you can bear. Nothing else enters your mind. Nothing else matters, or ever will matter except the light. The countdown ended and I knew I had made my decision to stay and take care of my babies.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     There were aspects that are indescribable because there are no words for them

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When my four year old would talk to me.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

            When my four year old would talk to me.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     It was like my eyes didn't even exist when I was being 'pulled'.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I could hear something more. It was some type of music, but once I left it I can't describe it. It seemed to move my eardrums in and out like a super dull throbbing or something, but it didn't hurt.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            When I was being pulled up I felt nothing but the purest love and peace. It was an unimaginable, undescribable feeling. I felt sad when I thought of or saw my daughter. Not really sad, just kind of lost or confused, but still firm in knowing that she needed me.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes     There was an intense light from above me that I felt was magnetized.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain      I talked to someone. It wasn't verbal. I told them I couldn't leave my baby. I promised to let others here know what I learned in that moment.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     It was as if my slowed heart beat was moving the air as well as the trees and grass and even birds outside the window. It was a droned vibrating heartbeat effecting everything around me. Time escaped me.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes            The sheer euphoric peace and tranquility that seemed to be pulling me up was not like anything I'd ever even heard about. There are no words to describe the absolute knowing but not knowing because nothing except the love from the light even mattered. It was more than love and peace, but I have no words for more... I feel heartbroken that I chose to leave it behind to tell others about it, because I am not capable of putting it into words that would do it any justice.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I tried to talk to my husband. I couldn't find words to describe most of what happened.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Uncertain            I have heard of it before, but believed it was the mind's way with coping with shutting down.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I don't want to forget. It just happened yesterday, but I can still remember the intensity with which I felt the absolute peace when I was being pulled. I can still feel the magnetism just under my skin pulled ever so slightly when I think about it today. I know this will fade over time and some of my experience will be lost.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The feelings of being in the light were literally out of this world. The peace and love were more than amazing. I now know that death is not to be feared. I am not scared. I have had a real sense of where I will be when my body fails me here.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I know it was real. I want to make sense of it, but I don't know where to get sufficient feedback.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
Yes     Dying is not to be feared. After yesterday I now know it is a comfort beyond our comprehension.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I know this wasn't a typical NDE, but these testimonials are the closest I've been able to find to my experience. When I tried to explain what happened to my husband I started feeling like this could have been some sort of alien abduction kind of thing (I don't believe in those) and began feeling less sure of what really happened. Nonetheless, something happened. Something BIG happened even though I was not ill and had no trauma.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes