Kathy T's Experience
I had been very ill with a barbaric treatment for hepatitis C called rebviron and interferon. My blood levels were dangerously low and I was taking another drug called Procrat to raise my red blood cells because the were so dangerously low. It was a trial study and there was little compassion or help for my condition. I had developed fluid on my lungs and heart and when I lay down to go to sleep my chest felt so heavy I could hardly breath. I did not know if I would wake up or not, so I made my peace with God every night before I went to sleep. I had also developed low immune deficiency dermatitis around my eyes. The skin around my eyes peeled twice at least and they were purple and red like I had been beaten, but I had not been beaten. I had learned not to cry because it irritated the dermatitis around my eyes so badly that it felt like poison ivy, so for about three moths I did not cry. This was very hard for me, as I needed very much to cry.
On the morning of August 17, 2001 about 7:30 AM, I started to cry, I didn't care anymore, I also had insomnia really bad and had been up all night. I said to Jesus 'I can't take it anymore, and if you want me, I'm ready to go and will you show me the way'. I went up into big white puff clouds, the sky was a soft pale blue. I found myself in what I can only describe as a womb. I could hear the most beautiful sound. And at one point I could see the sound, it was long bars going up to heaven, one beside the other. I remember saying that is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard!!! and I could stay here forever, it's so peaceful! I could faintly make light out beyond where I was. I was floating and enjoying this place, I truly could of stayed there forever. All of a sudden I came up to another plane. I saw thousands of white, beautiful Angels or beings. And I said 'oh, that's where the beautiful sounds coming from'. One Angel came to me and we communed telepathically. She looked at me with such love and compassion. She could see everything there was about me, there was nothing I could hide, although I did not want to hide anything. She was pure white and iridescent with form but without form, it's hard to put it into words, but she was beautiful and full of pure love and compassion. She lead me over to the right past other angels to the far right. I was stunned at the beauty all around me. It was pure white and sprinkling like snow when the sun hits it, (but not cold) and there were jewels all at my feet. I was in awe! And all the while I could hear that beautiful sound. She and I commune telepathically again, and then she turned me around to Angel lined path and at the end of the path was the Light. It was soft, warm glowing like the sun but did not hurt my eyes. It was irresistible! I was drawn irresistibly to it. I kept getting closer and closer to the Light, it was irresistible and I could not stop. I started feeling afraid because I knew that if I kept going I could not come back or would not want to come back (I was not sure which one). But I kept inching closer and closer to the irresistible light. I could see two lights making one light, on the right side was Jesus' and the left was God. The father and the son made one resistible white. I got to a point where I had to make a decision to keep going or pullback. I saw my daughter and my husband embracing and I could feel their pain from my death. At that point there was not a decision to be make, I would come back for them. At the end of my experience and before I left the outskirts of Heaven I telepathically commune with The Lord God. He was very busy doing what God does! I did not see him face to face. Again, to hard to put into words. But I could see there was a ridge to the left of us and if I had gone through their, I was not coming back. It was a threshold to the after life. God told me it was not my time, but if I needed to stay, I could. He said when it was my time he wanted me back, that I was a part of him, and that He loved me. I don't remember the coming back, but when I came back I was so torn because I felt like I had blown my chance at Heaven. I told my husband what had happened as he was getting ready for work. He thought I had lost my mind, he's looked at me like I was crazy. I told my daughter and she said if I needed to go that it was ok. I called my sister and we talked about it, and that evening I wrote it all down. I could already feel some detail fading. For weeks after this beautiful experience I cry end when I say clouds and even this started to fade after awhile . I went over this daily trying not to lose it. Although the experience will never leave me some of the details have. I had a very painful childhood. After my experience It felt like the pain of my child hood was cut away from me. I have this vision of a machete just cutting away the pain. It was all gone, the pain with my mother and my childhood, just cut away. I have no idea what had happened to me because I've never heard of near death experience. But I knew I had been changed forever. But it took me years to sort through what it was, where it came from, was it good or was it evil. Even though it was a beautiful experience it left me confused as to where It came from. I now know it came from God, I read everything I can on your death experiences. I know there's a God and Jesus and heaven and that we go back to God when we die.
I also have had two other experience but I'm not going into those now. As this
was the most profound experience of my life.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain I'm not sure but I had been very ill. And out of the hospital for only a few days from unexplained pain in my abdomen.
My NDE happened when I gave up and cried out to the
Lord. Saying if He was ready for me, that I was ready to go.
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes in the beginning of my NDE the closest I can come to the place I was at would be a womb.
Seeing Sound is very difficult to explain. I can still see it but words fail me to tell anyone what I saw or heard. The sound was so beautiful! It was not music or words. I've tried hard to remember it but I can't.
Also see God but not seeing him, is hard to
explain, even to myself.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the time I meet with my Angel, and then drawn to the Light and then meet with God.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I'm not sure how to answer this but when you go to heaven and visit with Angels and God you are alert and in awe.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I'm not sure how to answer this. But I saw beautiful things in that heavenly realm. Rich beautiful jewels at my feet. But I don't remember having a heightened sense of vision.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Again, I don't remember a heightened sense of hearing. Only that I heard the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in that heavenly realm,
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Yes I Saw and Felt the pain of my husband and daughter if I were dead. They were bracing and comforting each other. I felt like I was looking down on them.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love Joy Peace
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain The best I can explain it was in a womb, I was floating and jetting around inside this semi dark enclosure. I could hear the most beautiful sound and I was in completely peace! I remember saying 'I could stay here forever it's so peaceful' and another time I remember saying 'that is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard'!
Also the path to the Light was sort of like a
tunnel, as it was darkness all around but where we were.
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was bright like the sun, but also It was soft and warm and didn't hurt my eyes. It was white, but also with pale warm color. I distinctly remember thinking if it was a pure White Light, how could it also have warm tones). There were, sparking rays coming out from it into the darkness. (If I squint into a street light I can see similar rays coming out of the center). It was irresistible! I saw two lights which made one. It was the Father and the Son. Jesus' Light was to the right side of the Fathers Light. The beams went out into the darkness.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
When I came up on this next plain, there were thousands of Angels. I realized that was where the beautiful sound was coming from, from the Angels. One Angel come over to meet me, she was my guide. She was pure white and slight iridescent and slightly transparent. She had some form but also without distinct form. She looked at me with such love and compassion. We commuted telepathically. She knew everything there was to know about me, she could see everything that ever was about me. I remember thinking that I could not hide anything from her. BUT also remember that I did not wanting to hide anything. There was only truth and I felt nothing bad. It was just an awareness that I had. She then lead me to the left, passed many Angels (all of them like her, but there was no communication with them). When we got to the far left I was awe struck at all the beauty. There were jewels at my feet and around the landscape. It was also pure white and glistening like when the sun shines on snow, there were sparkles everywhere. This was not outside, it was in an I closed area, with darkness all around except for where we were. She got my attention from being awe struck and we communed telepathically again, I don't remember the communing being about anything specific. Just her love and compassion.
And at that point she turned me around to an Angels lined path all the way down to the irresistible Light. On the left side of me were white angels all the way down to the Light. On the right side of me was darkness but I felt beings were there. (I know they were there, I just could not see them and felt nothing bad from them)
I also knew that Jesus and God were the Light at the end of the path.
At the end of my NDE I telepathically communicated
with God. I did not see God face-to-face but I was in his presence and saw an
allusive form. He told me that if I needed to stay, that I could. But that it
was not my time, and that when it was my time, He wanted me back, that I was a
part of Him. And He told me He loved me. God was very busy while I was with Him,
doing all that God does. It felt like He was fitting this time with me into His
busy schedule. Just past us over my left shoulder was a opening, and a ridge,
beyond that I could not see or go.
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I didn't see Jesus in a human form but it was He that was part of the Light at the end of the path.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
After leaving earth through the puffy, white clouds and pale blue sky, I then SAW the beauty SOUND. From there I entered into what I feel was a place like womb, it was my dark and warm and roomy, I floated and netter around inside the place. I could still hear the beautiful sound and I was in total peace. I remember saying 'I could stay here forever', also remembered saying 'what is that sound, it's the most beauty thing I've ever heard'.
From there I went up to another plain and was with the thousands of Angels.
From there I was shown the path to the Light, which lead to God and Jesus.
From there I communed with God.
From there I came back to earth. Although I don't
remember the coming back to earth only that I was back in my bed.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
I was aware (and became fearful) that I could not go any farther toward the Light. Either I couldn't or wouldn't want to come back to earth if I continued towards the Light. I had to make a decision!
While telepathically communicating with God at the
end of my NDE, I saw an opening and ridge over my left shoulder. I could not see
or go beyond the opening and ridge. I believe It was entryway to the afterlife.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
When I knew I could not go any further without making a decision, I saw and felt my husband and daughters pain. They were embracing and comforting each other because of my death. At that point I would come back for them. I don't remember making a hard, difficult decision. It was just when I saw and felt there pain, I of course was going back. (I was looking down on them)
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Uncertain I saw a opening and ridge over my shoulder while communicating with God. But I was not given any specific information that it was the afterlife. But I Felt like it was an opening to the afterlife. God did tell me He wanted me back when it was my time, which indicates to me there is a afterlife with God.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Yes I telepathically communicated with God.
And Jesus and God were the Light at the end of the
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes I felt adoring love and compassion from my Angel.
God told me that He loved me.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? No
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I have been taught from a small child about God and Jesus, so that was consistent with my believes.
Meeting God and communicating with God is not consistent with my beliefs before my NDE. I was thought that no one has seen God, accept for the Son.
I was taught that all in Christ will rise on the
day of judgment, so meeting God, Angles and the Light is not consistent with my
beliefs before my NDE.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I don't remember much of anything about that time in my life, except that I was very ill, and on barbaric treatment for hep c.
I have forgotten some of the details of my NDE but
the main core of my NDE will stay with me forever. It changed my life!
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: I felt like the pain of my childhood was cut away from me. I have a mental picture of a machete cutting the pain away, a clean slicing cut way. After my NDR the pain with my mother was gone. I was very burden with the pain and angry with my parents for abusive life we had. But afterward my NDE it was all gone and it was instant after my NDE.
I was conflicted before my NDE as if there was a
God and Heaven I now know for sure there is a God and I am at peace with God
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes I now know for sure God is real. Where before I was not sure at all.
I've always been a loving person but I know now
it's all about LovIng others and myself.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything bit of my NDE is significant and meaningful to me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared with my husband as soon as I came back. He thought I had lost my mind. I still remember the look on his face and the distance he sat from me on the bed.
I went to see my daughter and told her that day. She told me if I needed to go I should go. She was compassion and loving about it and believed me. She and I have a close loving relationship.
I called my sister that day and she believed me and I told Ed everything in my NDE.
I know each person was influenced but I also know they still have a shadow of a doubt because they did not experience, it I did.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes In the early 70's I has another experience that was very similar to a NDE. I had a guide that took me down a tunnel and showed me several rooms off the main tunnel. I only remember one room (of several) contents, it was color vibrating everywhere. It was beautiful! I wish I had wrote this experienced down and could remember more. But I did also meet and talk with deceased people. One man said to me 'don't you not remember me'.. I wish I had wrote his name down.
I talked to a few people about it but in the early
70's it was mostly unknown stuff. And so I let it go. The guide came to me while
I was trying to take a nap. A huge black cap swirled around and above my head,
and I sat up and said NO. The same thing happened again, I said No and on the
third time a female voice said its ok, go with it. And so I did. And the above
happened, although I was not sure what it was at the time, I did know it really
happened to me. And was not a dream.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real I was absolutely sure that it was a real experience and that It really happened to me. I've never had a doubt that it was not real. It was REAL!
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real I have never doubted that experience was not real. I know it was real! I have wondered at times was it from the evil one but I believe I get that from the bible. God wins out everything I go there, and wonder about who showed me this NDE.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes my relationship with my mother changed, I forgave my mother (parents) for all the pain of my childhood.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I know for sure God is real. And now attend church on most Sunday's.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There was another experienced moments after I came back. I was afraid I had blow my chance going to heaven. So I tried hard to go back, this time I went up again in the clouds but was caught in a plane just above the earth. I was shown black outlines of crude looking figures. They were flashing fast and Bold (but also still soft). It was very difficult being close to them. It was like electric shocks. I was jerking all around from being too close, it was very, very intense! It was more than I could bear, so I pulled away and came back to my body. This experience was not necessarily bad. It was good and bad, light and dark. I felt like it was the Evolution of man, and It's no place I would won't to go back to.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes these question guide me to explain my NDE. There are some things I can't not explain with earthly words. I would love to explain Seeing Sound. But I can not.