KA B's Experience

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Experience description:   

One night my husband and I were having trouble and I went to sleep on the couch, listening to a VHS spirituality tape.  I had fallen asleep, I thought, when I became aware that I was somehow moving into a Magnificent Light. (Somehow I was both observer and experiencer.)

I noticed that there was a boundary or dark void just beyond the Light as I moved into it.  Then suddenly I became aware that every question that I had ever had or could have had was answered in an instant.  There is no feeling like the Satisfaction of that experience.  As I moved further into the Light, I became aware of other Consciousnesses that were a part of the Light as water drops are a part of the ocean.  There was such Love for me there!  After some time, I saw a Hand of God appear and gently pluck me, as a tiny Ball of Light, out of the Oceanic Love, and sent me down, down, down where I was aware of slipping into my physical body through my head. 

I woke up from sleep and wandered around the house trying to understand what I had experienced, trying to integrate it, but it has taken me years and I'm not sure that I have succeeded even yet.  The one part of this experience that did not seem to relate to the Light was as I was coming down from the Light and entering physical reality, I passed by what seemed to be a weapon pointed at earth.  The weapon looked like one that I saw in a Star Trek movie.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

There are no words to express the level of joy.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Totally aware, out of body.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   Like no dream I've ever had before or since.  Too real for a dream.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

I was not aware of having any kind of form, but I was able to see and to move and to feel.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I have never found the words to describe the feeling.  Maybe Nirvana, but even that is a pale reflection.  Imagine no pain, so sorrow, no problems, no fear, no loneliness, no despair....In other words, nothing but Pure Joy and Love.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    Yes

It was absolutely NOTHING like my religious teachings.  No creatures per se, but there were Individual Consciousnesses in the Sea of Light.

Did you see a light?           Yes

As already described, the Light was as a Sea or Ocean of Love.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

As mentioned above, it was as if a number of people who loved me totally were Spirits in the Sea of Love.  There was no boundary between the Spirits, as there is no perceived boundary between the drops of water in an ocean.  Yet they were certainly Individual Spirits.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes

My ability to see was perfect.  I heard no sounds.  I was able to "absorb" the Love of the Spirits.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

No space, no time as we know it, but events did proceed one after another.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I wish I could remember.  All questions that I had ever had or probably ever will have were answered and I felt such peace and satisfaction from that.  Somehow I believe that I could not have access to all that information from the physical body, but perhaps I receive the information even now a little at a time now.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes

This is hard to describe.  I saw that the Light had a boundary and beyond it was a darkness, a void, an emptiness, maybe.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Not to my knowledge, but I do have some ability now in that regard.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

Somehow the decision for me to come to earth was made in an instant and it was unanimous.  I "just knew" that it was something that I wanted to do.  In 1987, I had a close call to death from a severe allergic reaction.  I was out for about 12 hours.  When I came to, I had the sense that I had volunteered to continue on with this life, that it was somehow a duty that I could perform.  My 1994 experience in the Light could possibly have been the same experience in 1987 but I had no detailed memory of it then.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

My abilities are rather strange, I think. I call myself a "Sensitive."  The abilities range from "knowings", in some cases to very quickly computing the potential consequences of my actions in my head (though I'm a math phobic), being able to detect truth from lie with high success rate, predicting certain future events with high success rate, and oddly, if I have "registered" someone's face, I am able to see through a disguise even if 20+ years have aged them or even if the disguise is alien.  Also, I have visions at times where a rectangle pops into my inner vision and some kind of scene will play out on it in black and white, just like an old tv.  Usually I will not understand the scene as it takes place two days or more in the future and it's most often what appears to be a mundane scene.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

That I had a specific job to do on planet earth.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I have spent most of the time since focusing on healing my emotions.  I had to go through a period of illness for a number of years, but that allowed me to read and meditate.  I started focusing my writing on spirituality.  I spend nearly every day even now trying to find new ways to heal.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I find it impossible to give up for any length of time when I am having life problems.  I will give up for a time, but then I get back on the path and begin again.  This is one of the strangest parts of my experience, because there have been times when I consciously decided that I would give up because of the difficulties I have experienced.  And then, by some strange power, I get up and begin again as if some Power was taking over my form until I get my mind right once again. For example, during the most intense difficulties, I would crawl into bed and tell myself that I don't have enough strength to go on.  The next thing I know, I've somehow gotten out of bed and started doing things like preparing my bath or something like that even though I don't understand at all why I am doing it.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

Most people were awed and uplifted, but a few Hindus were shocked that I would share something so sacred.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Bewilderment and then great happiness.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part is that the experience showed me that I am totally loved and that I have a specific job to do.  The worse part is coming back to this reality.  If you've seen the Star Trek movie "Generations" where Malcolm McDowell does everything in his power to get back to the Nexxus (which was a similar experience to the Light), then that is the closest example I can give.  Sometimes I try to relive the experience, but I cant quite get it right. I can hardly wait to get back to the Light.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        When I am in despair from the problems of this life, my experience in the Light sustains me.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Sadly, no.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               No response

Yes I think so, at least as much as possible.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    It might be important to ask respondents if they have experienced trauma or extreme life experience following their experiences.  I lost my son in a car accident about five years after the Light experience and the shock and trauma were so severe for me, that I still wonder how I have survived it.