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Justlove's Experience

Experience description:   

2.    Please provide the events surrounding your experience including the approximate date and location. Please include your gender, current age and highest levels of education. Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? Were you knowingly attempting to end your life?

I was five years old and sitting on my grandmother's living room floor playing with toys.  I have always been aware of myself as something separate from, though inside of my body. This particular day, and I do not know why, however I got up and walked into my grandmother's bedroom which she kept very dark.  She had many layers of curtains covering her window.  I closed the door and it was pitch black. I held my palms out in front of me as though I could see them as I looked at them and said, "ok, who am I?  I mean I know that I am human and I have a body and organs and a heart and blood and stuff, but, who am I, inside"? At that moment, it was as though "I" left my body and was outside of the planet Earth.  It was HUGE and beautiful.  I just looked at it amazed at the colors and brightness. I just remember staring at it as though I would a fire, captivated until it became the size of a quarter, and I was so far away in the pitch black ALONE that I became frightened and said, "I WANNA GO BACK"! and I entered back into my body and ran like hell out of my grandmother's bedroom. I am now 46.  I have longed to go back there to see how far I would actually go and haven't since, except as a teenager after smoking marijuana and I felt myself drifting away.  I quickly pulled back in out of fear.  I still feel "me" in here and want to get out and know how to safely return.  I was in Monroe Michigan, around 1971. I am female 46 years old. Have always been considered different and out of place. I was in no way shape or form suicidal. I am a current student, equivalent of associates degree, pursuing my first bachelor's.

3.    Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Not at all.
4.    At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?   

5.    What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I was completely aware and alert, I simply wanted to know, I sensed that I inside was more that I the body.  I just did not know what I was at the time.    

       Was the experience dream like in any way?  I was completely awake

6.    Was there any medical evidence of cessation of breathing or heart function? no

7.    Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    
Yes I did, however that's about it.  I don't know what it looked like.

8.    Describe in detail the events (in order) that happened.
Refer to question #2

9.    What emotions did you feel?      Please include your feelings, if relevant, to events you describe in your answers to the following questions. 
I didn't feel any emotions, I simply had a burning desire to know and understand. I always felt different and that it was internal.  The only emotion I felt was fear when I was so far off the planet in the darkness, no sun, mo stars nothing except blackness.  and I was five and alone.

10.    Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  

11.    Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?     

12.    Did you see a light?

13.    Did you meet or see any other beings? 
no I don't think I allowed myself enough time out there to discover any other beings   

14.    Did you experience a review of past events in your life? 
                          Did you learn anything you did not have previously know?
 only that it is black in space and that though we see the sun here, out there its like it isn't there at all.

15.    Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events occurring while you were unconscious that could be verified later?   

16.    Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?

17.    Did you have any sense of altered space or time?

18.    Did you have a sense of knowing universal order and/or purpose?  n
ot at all though I was ultra sensitive and had a desire to heal people, it hurt terribly to learn of injury or illness, this included bugs and animals   

19.    Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes  My fear was my boundary
20.    Did you become aware of future events in your life?
not then, no
21.    Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? 
absolutely yes, as soon as I realized how far away from "home" I was I simply demanded to return and was there

22.    Did you have any psychic or paranormal gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?    If yes, describe. 
Not until my adult life did I become aware  meaning that I was sensitive and could tell what was happeneing with people and  could make people do things like call me by meditating on the name and saying call me call me... little things like that nothing major. Now it appears that what I think or desires happens within 24-36 hours, nothing major though not all the time.  it happens when I feel full of love and gratitude when I am focused and my desires are concentrated.

23.    Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the Experience? 
no    If yes, describe.

24.    How has the Experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.? Career choices?
it hasn't as far as I know

25.    Have you shared this experience with others?      If yes, What were their reactions? Were they influenced in any way by your Experience? How?
yes I have shared it, some have shared their own experiences like one guy's hand would grow ten times its size out like a super hand, that made him think that somehow he was a giant in a different dimension.  I can not say whether or not they were influenced, however people tend to cling to me for life, and drain me of my energy.  They call me "the one".  Some want to be in my presence and not say or do anything just be there, that makes me uncomfortable. I do not feel I belong here at all. Never have. 

26.    What emotions did you feel experience following your experience? 
None really.  I was just glad to be home.  Since of course I've only want to try it again.

27.    What was the best and worst part of your Experience? 
The best part was leaving my body and traveling off the planet out into space, the worst part was not being able to do it again.

28.    Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the Experience?

29.    Following the Experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
only the marijuana experience as a teenager.

30.    Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your Experience?