Julianne R's Experience |
Experience description:
I realized somehow that I must have died. I was in a dark tunnel and there was a pinpoint of light in the distance. At first I was fearful and quite surprised because I thought I died then, I was moving toward the light and I knew who the light was with out a question...it was God or Jesus. I kept getting closer to the light and there was this feeling of weight being lifted off of my body. It was peaceful, overwhelmingly lifted, peace warmth. As I got closer to the light there was a feeling of warmth flowing over my body starting at the top on my head and flowing over me like warm oil being pored over me. I was surrounded by the light, the emotional feeling was delight, love like nothing I had ever experienced, overpowering. The light started to communicate with me as I got closer. There were no words spoken, thoughts were transferred between us without speaking. I did not understand what was going to happen but there was absolutely no fear. I felt love and peace like I had never known. Eventually I started remembering things that had taken place in my life, things that I had totally forgotten. I suppose you might call them flash backs...sort of like movies that I was re experiencing. That is one of the reasons I knew the light (Lord) was giving me the information because I was remembering things that happened that were totally lost to my conscious mind. As those experiences were revealed I remembered them. At no time did I feel judged or condemned by the light about some of the selfish things I had done. It was more self condemnation, and my own shame. I felt emotionally the feelings of those I had hurt exactly the way they had felt them at the time I had been unkind to them and hurt them. I was told by the Lord what my purpose had been on earth, in two words, overcoming selfishness was the purpose. Loving others and giving of myself unselfishly. I can't remember when this happened but during my time there I was taken around to different locations. I saw a building in the distance but it appeared sort of fuzzy ....things were not real solid in appearance, but they were not translucent ether. I was told if I had questions I could get them all answered there, so I thought of it as a library where all truth was located. We were not actually walking with legs, or really flying but we got places in a sort of floating way. See, language fails here to be able to describe. I was going along with this other being when I saw someone i recognized as my Dad but he was not a man, he was a woman. After I spoke with him (her), I knew with no question it was my Father. He knew me as-well. Again we communicated telepathically. I didn't feel like family or seeing my earthly family was a top priority to the people there that were with me showing me around. I got the impression that I would see family later. These other beings were not having long conversations with me it was more that I was observing and seeing things for myself. If I ask questions they would answer but nothing detailed. I was all of a sudden on a green hill and I saw my dog Freckles, my childhood pet who grew up with us when we were kids. He was running around in the grass like a young dog and very happy. I think I remember he recognized me and was glad to see me.
It came time for me to meet with the light again and decide what I was to do. I wanted to go back in the worst way to fix the things that I had done wrong ...huge desire on my part. I was convinced I could accomplish my purpose that the Lord had shown me. He decided that I could go back but didn't exactly tell me that, I just found myself returning....the weight was felt on my body again and I really noticed it. Peace, warmth were all gone as I returned. Then I woke up and realized I could only remember portions of what had happened. It was very strange because I didn't know if I had died or was just dreaming. However, it could not be a dream because of the intensity and the fact that I remembered so much. I never remember my dreams. I didn't understand at the time why this had happened, I possibly still don't.
The difficulty of the task I had promised to fulfill became obvious as I realized my selfishness was the human condition that I had been released from during my after life experience. What had happened was so physically and emotionally huge, as experiences go....nothing ever could even come close. It was amazing, overwhelming. The physical feelings the emotional feelings were so intense, of joy, love, warmth, beauty , happiness, community with the other beings there. The love of God for me, total acceptance and understanding and love he had was so much more that I could ever imagine on my own.
About eight months after this experience my Father died. During this period my marriage of 16 years was breaking up. My entire life was crashing. I believe I was given this experience as reassurance to not just believe but to know that God loves me and is there for me and that what is to come is worth the difficulty we may experience in our lives here. That I could get through the pain of loss I was about to experience.