Judith G's Experience
I stayed on a mattress next to my dying Dad for one week before he left his body. Three days before my father passed on, and after my family left the hospice room to return home, I was standing beside his bed (thinking what an absolute mess of a dysfunctional family I'm dealing with and wondering how such words from my mother like 'we should just put a bag over his head and finish it all now' To which I replied 'if you want to do that when your time comes that is your choice but we are not going to do that to Dad' (I believed he could hear and Mum did not). My brother then stood over my father and told him it was OK to go now (to this I said nothing but decided when my time comes I'm putting a notice board over my bed asking everyone to be silent.) I mention this to explain my stress levels. I acknowledged everyone was experiencing a different level of grief work. Death happens in its own way and own time was my attitude. My sister-in-law prayed beside Dad's bed and was the last (and the most sane of all) to leave.
So when everybody exited I took one almighty sign of relief. Something then happened that had never happened before and has never happened again. While I was standing next to Dad, with my hand on the bed next to his hand (I did not want to touch him in case I hurt him - blue skin and very delicate) space changed around me and I felt a love coming into my numb body. It grew very strong, extremely blissful and beautiful. The love expanded out into the room. I was this love and I became the furniture and everything in the room. I did not go thru the walls. My mind was repeatedly saying 'What is happening' over and over again. I was outside my body, I was observing in a detached way inside my body and I was everything. There was no time. I felt I knew everything (knowledge) but was unable to pick out a thought. There was no sequence. I saw a light. I then started coming down and my thoughts were very clear. My mind was clearer than my normal state. If that light was a bomb everyone would be frightened, but, there is no need to run because 'LIFE GOES ON; NOTHING MATTERS'.
the first time in my life I believed that consciousness goes on. The days
following were full of bliss and I felt so wonderful that Dad's consciousness
was still somewhere. I also, for the first time in my life, loved myself for
staying with him to the end. There were no spirits or voices. Just bright
light, no time, no space, all knowledge, clear mind, absolute love followed by
days of bliss and a totally different perspective on life that caused me to
search for this something again. Some would say it was a religious experience
(I believe that is the mind's interpretation). Some would say it is a chemistry
change in the brain (I would say 'no' but give it to me again - I have never
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes No time or space as we know it in every day situations. Message (own thoughts) as I was coming down which contradicted my beliefs. Heavenly bliss I describe as a million times stronger than romantic love during experience and less intense for following few days. Love came up in my body. I was this love. Love expanded into all of the room. I became everything in the room. No time so could not 'pull out' a thought from an all knowing source. I was an observer as well as the loving presence. No voices or entities. Light very bright. When 'coming down' I remember thinking 'if that light was a bomb everyone would panic and run for shelter, BUT there is no need to run because NOTHING MATTERS - LIFE GOES ON.' This was a surprise to me because I believed that when we die that is it. Knew nothing of reincarnation even though I spend primary/secondary schooling at a private girls school which taught Christian values.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes Father was dying - I was OK
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? Very clear and very loving
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love. Surprise. Disbelief
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes There's something more at work here than what we are aware
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? Decided to find God energy. Now meditating 2 and one half hours per day. Realized at the time NOTHING MATTERS. We are all on a stage acting out a drama. Nothing we live is real
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Search for God energy - light/sound meditation answered that (Surat Shabd yoga)
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Kept it to myself for a year or so (thought others would see me as insane) until I read Moody's books.
What emotions did you experience following your experience? Bliss
What was the best and worst part of your experience? All good
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes