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Joy W's Experience

Experience description:   

I had had an emergency ERCP related to dangerously high lipase levels in my blood which at the time I didn't fully understand. Basically if the Lipase cannot get into the GI tract then it eats the pancreas and backs up in the blood stream and that is terribly dangerous. The pain, nausea and vomiting were relentless. I could not even sip water. I also learned from my nursing instructor, after the event that Pancreatitis patients code sometimes and by the time they get to them it is too late. I later learned that this happens because of the dangerously high levels of lipase in their blood and that can shred major arteries and the patient codes because they are bleeding internally, they bleed out. I am told that the hospital I go to now looses approximately 16-20 patients a year for this reason.

I was post ERCP and they had placed 5 rigid stents in my pancreatic ducts to keep them open. I do not remember much about the first day. I know that I couldn't move and that they had catheterized me. I knew that it was the worst pain I had every felt and by them I had had two children naturally. I also knew that I was close to death. As I lay there in the dark I kept thinking I was seeing light flooding into my room through a window on the door, but I later found out there was no window, no lights on not even the TV. And I could not have turned the lights on. Thankfully I had some amazing nurses who tended to my pain, nausea even though I could not press the call light.

Back to the light...it was warm, I felt overwhelmingly peaceful and as I was drawn into the light I saw colors that do not exist here, there was no condemnation, and I can't help mentioning the peace again. In Hebrew the word "shalom" is used and many translate it as simple "peace," but that is not an accurate translation. It means perfect peace, that all is right and perfectly peaceful. I would agree that is what I experienced. I also knew that I could just go towards God and that no one would judge me, and that it was my choice. I chose to go back because I had two young children, one of which has special needs and really needed me. I also stayed because I knew how terrible it would be for my husband to loose me at that time. Besides the peace and warmth, and splendor the most remarkable thing was when I was sucked back into my body all the pain returned, and it was excruciating. I also knew that I had to fight to stay. But the light remained, and the best way I can describe it upon reflection was that the LORD help my hand as I struggled to stay, He did not move until the immediate danger passed. I really wasn't exactly sure what had happened but had a real reality check when I told the doctors I was not sure I was going to make it and they said that they weren't sure either. I also recall hearing the nurse report off with my code status, "full-code status." Wow, even as I recall it now I am overwhelmed by the event.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  By this time it was apparent to all that I had pancreatic disease and that it was life-threatening. I lost 40lbs and was on TPN and had been in the hospital a month and a half. They took me in for an emergency ERCP (a procedure to visualize the pancreas, diagnose, collect specimens, and place stents) I don't really know exactly what happened as three days after I told the doctor I was not sure I was going to make it, and he said "neither were we." I know my Lipase (pancreatic enzymes) were dangerously high. 90 is normal and mine was 5000. I also know that my liver function was not good, that I was malnourished and that my red blood cell count was low enough to require 2 pints of blood, and my white count was elevated (infection).

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Simply because we are limited to what we experience in mortal bodies. My pastor once said that 90% of reality could not be seen by us because we can't see the spiritual world, and I fully agree. I can say things like shalom-perfect peace, warmth, comfort, no fear, no pain and that I could see colors (wavelengths of light) that I cannot see on earth, but since I am finite it is quite hard to explain the spiritual and the warmth of the Lord. What I can tell you is that I am not afraid of dying at all. Even if I have to suffer, because what is to come is so worth the compared short amount of suffering I may endure. I have told several people that I want you to tell people I wasn't afraid to die, tell them to throw a party and that I do not want a funeral, a casket, black clothing or a burial. Wear tie dye and listen to Matisyahu and dance until you cannot dance.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I knew that it was okay to go towards the light, the warm, peaceful light if I chose to do so.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I was able to sense things I could not before: colors that don't exist here on earth, amazing peace, warmth, no fear, and the beautiful presence of God and His steadfast love.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I could see wavelengths of light that I cannot see now, vivid colors and intense light but it did not hurt my eyes at all. It was amazing.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I am not sure. I never thought much about it. I did not speak nor was I spoken to. I didn't need to.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Intense peace (shalom-perfect peace), warmth, the steadfast love of the Lord, and comfort beyond any comfort I can feel...overwhelming joy, completely content, full-lacking nothing.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   Intense light that drew me into it.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   Intense light, but it didn't at all hurt my eyes.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
God the father, the Creator, HASHEM, as well as the Messiah, Yeshua. Once I returned to my body and was fighting to stay, the Lord, Jesus, the Messiah/Yeshua, Emanuel, the Son of God sat with me.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes   Jesus/Messiah/Yeshua...

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
It was amazing. Not like anything on earth. I could see wavelengths of light I cannot see on earth, the light was intense and beautiful, there was perfect peace and the presence of God was, well...thick. There were no distractions from the steadfast love of the Lord. Awesome literally.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   There is no doubt in my mind that there is in fact an afterlife.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Again, there is no doubt in my mind, there is in fact a God, The Creator of all things.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   It's really hard to explain this part to people, God is not confined by time. In essence Creation and Revelations are all happening at the same time. We are not a dot on a time line. Before even the Creation of the earth God/HASHEM being all knowing knew that we existed and therefore because of this foreknowledge we have always existed and always will.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I experienced heaven. I know I did.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   Yes, that they were short and temporary compared to what is to come to us, and what always was to God. And I have blown some people away in saying that if I could go back and choose not to be ill I wouldn't change a thing. It is not bad to be reliant on God and though I suffer I know the steadfast love of the Lord, and I know that it helps others when they see me continuing in faith and enjoying each day and the opportunity to serve God and others no matter how bad I may feel physically.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   Yes, that they were short and temporary compared to what is to come to us, and what always was to God. And I have blown some people away in saying that if I could go back and choose not to be ill I wouldn't change a thing. It is not bad to be reliant on God and though I suffer I know the steadfast love of the Lord, and I know that it helps others when they see me continuing in faith and enjoying each day and the opportunity to serve God and others no matter how bad I may feel physically.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   It's a bit hard to separate shalom/perfect peace from steadfast love...I can just say I have never felt more loved or accepted as I did at that time. I remember it and that helps me through the rough times for sure.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I know that I was created by God/HASHEM, the Creator of the Universe. I know that none of this earth or the life on it is accidental, and that we have always existed to God and we always will, and I know that my suffering is short and that eternity is just that, never ending, so the trials of this life pale in comparison to eternity. We are not accidental and that gives us meaning and purpose.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I would say that before this I had put God in a box and viewed Him as a man in a white robe that was somewhat removed, even though I was Christian. I just had never experienced this depth of my faith prior to the experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   My senses were heightened and vivid, they were more real than anything I had ever experienced.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I was able to see what is not tangible on earth, I felt things I had never felt, and experienced no pain, and perfect peace and that tends to change a person for sure. The knowledge that there is a Creator and that nothing is by accident also really changed my view. I also know for sure that there is a God and that He is loving and accepting, and all together lovely.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   Again I had a very limited view of God prior to the experience and I really was not sure I/we had a purpose, and my life is forever changed because of it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
The peace, the ability to see things that cannot be seen here, the absence of pain and suffering and the return of them and the presence of the Lord as I fought to stay alive.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  About 6 months. Many are encouraged while some are skeptical. I would like to add that the skeptics are the ones who look at me and say. "You are a Chemistry and Religion major? How does that work?" To which I say, "You know the two are not mutually exclusive, in fact I'd say the more I learn about science and the world around us the more I believe in God"

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I knew it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I have experienced it and I have spoken to others who have also experienced it. That was more real than anything I had, or ever will experience on earth.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   It gives people hope and people say they love my passion and zeal for life, my appreciation for it and the fact that I am truly not afraid of death.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   God is no longer some guy in a white rode who is removed at times. He is real and close.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   Very thorough, thank you.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?       I want to meet others who have had the experience and I'd love to share my experience with others as well.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                        I can't think of any at this time. Thank you.