Joe W's Experience
Prior to my experience I had been studying Out of Body Experiences and Lucid Dreaming Technics in order to find some answer to my own existence. I had achieved for one brief moment some months earlier an OBE by way of lucid dreaming. The following account is to the best of my ability an attempt to put into words what happened to me. I will however fall short of being able to describe the intensity of emotion to some aspects as no words that I know can be used to convey the full depth of my personal experience. I will denote these points with the * symbol.
It was a perfect night to be walking home about 3 miles from a party that my younger uncle by 2 years had been to. There were no clouds in the sky and as we lived in a very rural town there were no street lights to impede the brilliance of the stars and on a couple occasions made note of how clear the full moon appeared. Upon reaching the four concrete steps that lead to the front door to of the 12 room hotel that my grand father owed who was my guardian at the time, I made note of how short the usually long walk seemed and was just a smidge sadden that it was over. Chalking up the pleasant hike to the 2 shots of butterscotch schnapps I had drank just before setting out I thought to myself "I am gonna have to get me a bottle of that" for the dreaded 8 mile walk to Monet MO. next week where the drive in theater was. As we entered our hotel room it was dark and quiet as it was after midnight and my grandparents were already in bed, my uncle and I silently made our way to our bedroom which we shared making just enough noise and small talk to let granddad ( a notoriously light sleeper ) know it was us and not a burglar, we went to bed and asleep.
Cold was the water as it went down my throat and into my lungs, I flailed my arms and legs trying to get to the surface for a breath of air. As my head broke the surface I took a beep breath and more water, PANIC "No don't panic keep calm" I told myself still flailing violently as I slowly drifted down. *PANIC,*TERROR overwhelmed me "I'm GOING TO DIE!! NO NO I WANT TO LIVE" and than a sense of calm over took me and felt as tho a great heaviness was slowly being lifted and gently began to float back up while I watched my body sink below me.
The moon was so bright and clear through the bedroom window. "I'm awake" I thought. just a dream.
The moon slowly started to move towards me. How can this be? I turned over still drifting upward and saw my uncle on his side of the bed. "I'm out of my body" Turning back to see the moon not wanting to see my self for fear I might go back and wanted to fully exploit the moment. I became *Aware that I was *Awake. I could think clearly for the first time ever. As the moon got bigger I thought am I going to float all the way to the moon?
Than what I can only describe as the "*Stargate experience" I was for the lack of a better word *Flying through the galaxy. Stars were passing by at such a great speed at the same time information about the entirety of the universe was being *Downloaded to me. With all this information flooding me at once is it possible to see how the Egyptians built the pyramids?
"That's boring there is so much more to see" The thought came into my mind. "Wait that's not me thinking this!!" I became aware of a presence that was with me. An entity completely separate from me but so familiar as though I had known him/her forever.
"Are you my Guardian Angel!?!?"
"No not as you are referring. Think of me as a Guide"
"Can I see the Pyramids being built?" As I asked the question I knew the answer. Yes. This was more of a kind of test I was proposing. Although I was somehow aware that I already knew the how they did it, I as yet didn't know how to access all the information still being inferred upon me.
"You'll find it boring. There is so much more interesting things to experience"
A little resentful by this answer I asked again. I mean how could someone ells know how I would feel. I had been trying to learn its secrets for as long as I could remember. Remember? Remember from what. In a *flash I realized how meaningless all that I thought was important was fading from memory. But I held on tight to that one thought. And suddenly I had a birds eye view of the Giza Plateau. Empty and bare. Like watching a movie in fast forward I saw not only how they were built from the 1st stone to completion but the reasoning as well as the the tools. Every minute detail was *explained. This seemed to only take a second to comprehend. I felt a some disappointment. No flying saucers. No great revelation. Just a group of people doing there job. "How mundane I thought"
"I told you" my Guide *said.
At this point I realized That I could not actually physically see or audibly this "Guide" but I could feel its presence as if I could. All the while we are still *flying through space and information still being *downloaded.
"Any other questions you have?"
I don't recall If the Guide actually said "WHAT?"
But I did feel his/her utter SHOCK at the question.
"Is there a HELL?"
"Yes, but not as you would understand it."
I got the very distinct imprecision that this was not a topic the Guide wanted to go into.
"Can I see it?" (referring to Hell)
"You don't want to"
Not getting a definite no I pressed on.
"Yes I think I would"
"No You really don't"
"Yes I would..."
Instantly I was in *Blackness a *Void. Absolute nothingness. I had been cut off from any form of external contact. A great feeling of *Anguish enveloped me. I was *Alone. Forever? The thought *Terrorized me instantly. *Fear to the point I could not take anymore I for the first time felt a physical sensation *Pain as that of ones heart being broken. (I can only personally describe this sensation as when my DAD pass-away. It is said the greatest pain one can feel is the loss of a child. That heartache times a thousand.) Just as I was about to cry out I was back with my Guide as quickly as I had left.
I sensed a great *Sadness in the Guide and I for the first time ever felt *Empathy for whom ever was in such a place that the *Sadness over took me.
"Hitler is there?"
"Why? If it hurts you/me/us. Why such a place?"
(I will try to describe the answer as best as I can)
The Universe operates like the gears in a watch. (A very big and complicated watch) All the cogs and wheels have a function. If one of these cogs looses a tooth the mechanism will still function usually without much notice. However if this same part were to loose to many teeth than it become a burden on the whole and must be discarded in order for the larger function to be maintained without the entire mechanism grinding to a halt. The lose of the cog puts a bit more strain on the other parts and is missed. But its better to discard that one part however regrettable to loose the whole of the machine.
"One more question you may ask"
"Is there a God?"
A wave of *Perfect *Joy,*Love *Euphoria came over my being. (words cannot describe the feeling of *Happiness)
In front of us was a Brilliant Bright Warm Light. Millions of smaller white lights that looked like stars were going towards the center all around us. I became aware of each and every light as an individual consciousness. I knew intimately each and everyone and they knew me. Just before entering the light a Great Epiphany came to me. This is GOD. I am part of God, God is part me and so is each every living thing. All these millions of millions of star points is what makes up the whole that is GOD.
A single thought of fear twinged in me at the Awesomeness of what was happening. Than with that one moment of fear and doubt I was whisked back in reverse through of all that I had just traveled in space toward my physical body before I had a chance to comprehend what was going on. The last thing I saw was the moon going away from me and my own body lying in bed before being *Slammed back.
My eyes opened looking at the ceiling at once aware I was no longer in that place of of *Joy and *Love.
"No NO PLEASE NO LET OUT (referring to my own body) DON'T LEAVE ME HERE"
I cried out in my mind. I opened my mouth to scream aloud but no sound came.
My first thought that came to me was If I can die again Ill go back. Go to the kitchen get a knife and plunge it into my heart. As I got ready to get up I was paralyzed. I could not move but I could feel the covers against my skin. So I knew I was not really truly paralyzed. This did not stop the increasing fear that the longer I was trapped in this body I might not get back to where I was just at. I heard a voice in my head of the Guide.
"You Can Not Kill Yourself, It Is Forbidden" Very loud and with Authority.
"I've got to I've got to get out" still screaming in my own mind.
"Suicide Is Forbidden"
After a few moments I started to calm down a little but still couldn't move.
"How am I to live like this I begged" now with the new fear of what if I am really paralyzed. My Guide than spoke to me in a calm and genital tone.
"Rule #1. You Cannot Intentionally Physically or Emotionally Harm Yourself."
Rule #2. You Cannot Intentionally Physically or Emotionally Harm Another Human Being. With the exception to protect yourself. Rule #1. Must Be Observed
Rule #3. You Cannot Intentionally Physically or Emotionally Harm Another Living Creature. With the exception to protect and sustain your own survival."
At this point I felt myself take a deep breath and was able to sit up. My first thought and question was what about hamburgers. I'm not ready to be a vegetarian. I love beef. (I know it seems kinda silly after what had just transpired that this would be my most pressing concern at this moment, but this is what happened) My Guide replied refer to Rule #1. You must eat to survive. I than got overwhelming feeling of relief in that it was OK to eat another creature as long I honored its sacrifice for me. It was at this time I felt the Guide leave.
I lay there in bed till the break of dawn trying to remember as much as I could all the information and knowledge that I had just a short time earlier acquired. But the more I tried to recall a specific subject the more fleeting the memories became. When my granddad got up I was there to greet him at the breakfast table. I told him word for word the exact story I have just conveyed here. After which he asked me.
"How do you feel now?"
"Blissfulness and confusion."
He than suggested I go for a long walk and just let myself reflect upon this experience. I spent the next couple days and nights just wandering around the woods. Most of the time trying to shake the feeling of being claustrophobic of my own body. And in contemplation of the three rules I was to live by. When I did meander back home granddad broke the very strict meal time schedule and made me several cheeseburgers. I hadn't realized I had not eaten in a long time and surprised myself at how hungry I was. And without very much conversation went to bed and to sleep. When I awoke I was confused as to what day it was what time of day even. I went to find my grandfather who was in his shop and he informed me I had been asleep for more than 24 hours. I didn't understand why he had let me break the most strict household routine he kept with the precision of a Swiss watch.
"I have heard this story before and have seen first hand what a profound effect it can have. But now it's time to come back to this REALITY." Reality what a strange word to use. This existence was no longer real. This WAS the dream. And I so desperately wanted to wake up. I did ask him if he had had the same experience. He just turned around and walked away. We never discussed this insouciant again. About a week later I tried to talk to my grandmother about this and she stopped my short and said.
"Yes I know all about your dream, he had the same one in the war. (WWII) That's no excuse You not to believe in Jesus and going to church." And that as they say was the end of that as far as grandma was concerned.
took several weeks before the feeling of claustrophobia to finally disparate.
And a couple of years to fully come to terms with having to be stuck here. I
have spent the rest of my life trying my best to live by the three rules given
to me and patiently waiting to WAKE UP.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? No
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes emotions so profound words do not convey there intensity
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the moment I saw the moon to the moment I was slammed back in my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal clarity of thought.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Incredibly sharp, clear and vivid.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall hearing anything. That is not to say I was deaf just don't recall hearing anything profoundly remarkable.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Yes The Egyptians building the pyramids
What emotions did you feel during the experience? None
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I think I stopped just shy of entering the tunnel
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright, Warm but not blinding
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Only that of what I refer to as the Guide
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
the concept of time had no purpose or a way to keep track of time
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Hard to explain. Everything that was or will be seemed to flood my consciousness
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes Being aware of there entity's and being part a larger community
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Yes I was part of God. God was part of me, as well as all the others I saw and sensed
had to define God it would be as a collective consciousness
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? Yes An overwhelming sense of oneness with all living beings. even plants.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? Uncertain
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes A deep profound love for all living things
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes Who God is. What Hell is.
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Prior to my experience I had no set preconception of God, Hell or life after death
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It has been over 25 years since, and still recall everything in its most minute detail as tho it just happened.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: More willing to accept different point of view than my own. Open minded to other possibility's outside the normal conventional thinking.
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes I know who God is.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I am not alone In the Universe
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Within hours. My grandfather. Understanding.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard stories in passing but was unsure of there validity.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real The experience being as real as this life existence being unreal is.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real I think that there maybe some purpose to my existence here on Earth. But as to what that reason is still eludes me.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Very hyper sensitive to the feelings of others.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes From Agnostic to Gnostic
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I have experimented with all kinds of drugs, hallucinogenic and psychotropic. Sensory deprivation and deep meditation, trying to recreate the experience. Nothing has ever even come close.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes