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Joan M's Experience

Experience description:   

I worked for a doctor.  I became addicted to diet pills and opiates and was stealing the drugs from work.  This lasted for two year, approx. 100 pills a day.  I got caught.  Went into detox and rehab to overcome addiction.  A year later, clean and sober, I was facing jail time for the theft, the doctor was pressing charges.  I was a married woman, mother of two and not realizing it, was in severe depression.  I had so much guilt and shame that I thought I was useless and not deserving to live.  I spent months planning my suicide.  I wrote letters to my friends, family and the day before I was to go to court, I knelt down, prayed to God and said if this is the right thing for me to do, let it happen.  I then went to a friends empty apartment, and drank 2 glasses of anti freeze.  While I was drinking the 2nd glass, I saw myself, hovering over my shoulder, from the waist up.  I was not afraid.  I was at peace knowing I was doing the right thing.  It was crazy, seeing me floating and watching the human me, drinking anti freeze and waiting to die.  My friend and husband found me about 8 hours later, took me to the hospital but the doctors didn't know how to treat me because they didn't know what I ingested.  I was completely out of it and don't remember anything but I finally told my friend that I drank the stuff you put in a car.  I was given 3 hours of dialysis and came back to life.  The next morning the doctor told me, I would have been dead within 1 hour had they not done dialysis.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Right before I lost consciousness, while I was drinking antifreeze.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Less consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            Right before I lost consciousness, while I was drinking antifreeze.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Uncertain      But there did seem to be brightness in the room even though it was dark.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace and calmness

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain           

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     It was probably 3 months later, most people thought I was crazy but a few told me I had an out of body experience, although, I still don't know exactly what that means.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real   

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I think about this experience and try to understand it.  I can't except I know it was the only time in my life that I felt so peaceful and content.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            Regardless of what anyone says, it happened.  Not sure what it meant, but it was an incredible experience.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Uncertain     

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No                  

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes