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Jeff H's Experience

Experience description:   

It was December 26th at 6:30 in the morning I laid down to take a few hours nap before my children would be out of bed.  I worked several hours the night before and with a busy holiday schedule completed I was very tired.  The next thing I remember I was floating out of my body.  I then saw myself floating outside, very peacefully, and looking at the scenery below (woods, fields etc) moving higher and higher.  I started thinking to myself (and I KNEW I was CONSCIOUSLY THINKING) that I must be dreaming I am in an airplane, taking off, and looking out the window.  I looked around and saw nothing but sky around me, with clouds and the ground below getting smaller.  I kept thinking this doesn't make sense because I felt so peaceful and yet comfortable but I should have felt cold being in the sky in a cold Wisconsin winter. 

I now was into the clouds and could see mountains way down below (we don't have mountains in the Midwest so I thought I must have travelled far).  Then the clouds turned into very beautiful, bright, colors (self illuminating).  I then came upon a dark tunnel (almost like looking down at a tornado but it was not spinning).  My heart told me to enter the tunnel (like I was tempted to go forward) but my brain told me that if I descended down I will never come back. I was floating above the tunnel when a gray form came behind me (this form was like a grayish apparition).  It reached out and touched me.  It felt warm (like you feel as a child when your mother holds you except the feeling was ten times stronger) and I could feel love radiating.  I knew by the touch and emotion it was my grandmother, who committed suicide 36 years ago while suffering from terminal cancer, who I last saw alive when I was 11 years old (we called her Nana).  She said to me, "Come with me and we'll be together forever." 

I said, "Nana I can't, I want to but I am not ready to leave yet."

  My grandmother said, "Jeff, its' paradise, come." 

I then replied, "Nana, its' different now."  "When you last saw me I was just a little boy." "Now I am a man with three children and a lot of responsibility."  "I don't think my children are ready to lose their father yet." 

She replied like she knew something I didn't, "Jeff, don't you know that you're children will be taken care of."  "Come with me."

I then began to feel the determination to go back and I pushed her away and said, "I'm sorry and I want to go with you but I have to get back to my children."

I then turned away and using my arms (which were more not arms but part of whatever physical shape I was) I then thought to myself I am going to fight my way back if I have to but I am going to wake up and see my children (my emotions changed from peace to determination).  The bright colors around me started turning gray and I felt myself going back towards my body.  I was thinking this is easier to move than I thought it was.  I then began to feel like I was going to black out when I felt and heard a whoosh like I was being sucked somewhere (I assume back into my body).

I woke up (and sat up fast) and it was 3 hours later.  The house was quiet except for my youngest son who was playing a computer television game.  I felt out of breath (like I just ran a distance) and as I sat catching my breath I felt a strong emotion of sadness that I missed my grandmother.  I had not thought of her much before this (It had been 36 years) and I started to cry as I missed her.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Description of encountering my grandmother who died when I was 11 years old.  Her body was more of an "entity" but I knew it was her through our conversation and I could "feel" it was her.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           My consciousness appeared to be a very clear dream but I was very alert and in control of my thoughts and my conversation.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes, very relaxing.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     Its' very difficult to describe.  I did not realize my form until the end of my conversation with my grandmother as I wanted to go back.  I was like a gray cloud but was able to change my shape as needed (like needing arms to push away).

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            At first I felt very peaceful.  Even when I was questioning things in my mind I was relaxed.  At the tunnel, I felt love and warmth, like I never had before, ten times stronger than I ever felt.  I felt excited when I was tempted to enter the tunnel, and then determination when I made the decision to go back.  When it was over, great sadness because I missed my grandmother.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           The only sound I heard, besides my grandmother and I talking was the "whoosh" sounding of heading back to my body.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Yes     The only familiar locations was the scenery floating up.

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     My grandmother.  I had not seen her in 36 years since her death.  I loved her but we were not close.  I am surprised she met me because I have other relatives and friends who I was close to.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          No       Did you have any sense of altered space or time?          No      

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     It seems my floating body knew where to go.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     The entrance to the tunnel was the end of one boundary and the start of another.  I just knew this.

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     If you read the story, my thinking overtook my emotion.  My emotions wanted me to enter the tunnel but it was like my brain knew it wasn't time.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain      I have always dreamed many events that have come true and have astonished friends over the years with predictions.  I never had a conscious dream before.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I realize that as much as I worry about things on this earth, the real experience of life is yet to come.  "Afterlife" is just another phase of life and our earthly life is a very small part of our whole life (before and afterlife).  My grandmother knew that everything would be OK on earth no matter what happens but the real meaning of life is in the afterlife.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I research more about NDE on the internet.  I have talked to my Pastor at length about it (breaking down crying it was so emotional).  I now think about and miss my grandmother everyday and long for the day we meet again (I had not thought about her much before this).

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     I don't get upset or angry about "little things" in life anymore.  Our physical bodies are here for such a short time I realize that once you die nothing on earth matters anymore (example: how much money you have, your work, environment, world problems or events etc.).

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Besides my Pastor, I told my father who seemed relieved that his mother was doing so well.  I also told my sister who said she believed me and has heard positive stories from others if they're religious or not.  My best friend who tells me to get tested for sleep apnea as I may have died in my sleep.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Everyday, I think about my grandmother with sadness.  I cried describing it as it was such a personal and emotional experience.  I would like to experience it again except I have fear I may not come back.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was the peacefulness experiencing it and telling my Dad I saw his mother (seeing the happiness in his face).  The worst was wondering if it happens again... will I come back.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes