Janice H's Experience
I was four months pregnant and travelling in the Philippines. The trip had been planned before I knew I was pregnant and my Dr. later gave me the go ahead. Although I was 41 it had been a problem free pregnancy and I was in good health. This was my first pregnancy. I had an ultrasound at three months and I was told everything looked fine and normal.
About half way through the trip I woke up in the morning sobbing and crying as a result of a dream I had. It was a very vivid dream of the sort that I recalled every detail and it felt completely really as though it had actually happened. In the dream I saw my baby. He appeared to be about 10 months old or so and had light curly hair and blue eyes. He was sitting up and we were in what appeared to be a hospital. He looked extremely sad and was looking down as he spoke to my husband and I. He said "I'm sorry, but I can't come home with you".
I was so upset about the dream that I just wanted to push it out of my mind and think good thoughts for the rest of the trip. I had gone for regular check-ups and there was absolutely no reason to be concerned as everything seemed to progressing well. When I had the previous ultrasound we were not told the sex of the baby as it was the law in my province at that time.
At seven months I requested another ultrasound just to see the baby and get some photos. The technician keep focusing on one spot and not saying anything. Also she told us the machine was out of paper and she couldn't print us a photo (found out later she just didn't want us to see anything without speaking to the Dr. first).
A couple of days later I was called into the Dr.'s office and I immediately knew something was wrong. Still, I felt it might be something manageable and I told myself I would be the best mother, no matter what. I was not prepared for the news I was given. Our baby had a rare disorder called Trisomy 13 and several severe deformities that did not show on the first ultrasound. I asked the sex of the baby and was told it was a boy. Michael was born a few weeks later and died at birth.
Considering how vivid the dream was, the fact that it was indeed a boy and that he told us he would not be coming home with us leads me to believe that Michael was trying to prepare us ahead of time for his death.
Was this experience
difficult to express in words?
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? Yes
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? He seemed to communicate telepathically. His expression also conveyed extreme sadness.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No comment
Did you see the deceased? No comment
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? Seemed to last about two minutes.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Yes. He told us he would not be coming home with us. Also he was clearly a boy.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: Real in the sense that the dream conveyed completely accurate information.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
It was a very intense, vivid type of dream and felt as "real" as waking life does.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Shock, disbelief
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? No
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extremely upset, sad, emotional
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? Uncertain
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? He was my only child. I feel as though I was not meant to be a mother for some reason.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
When my first husband died I went through an extreme amount of pain and grieving. One night as I was laying in bed feeling intense grief, I felt pulled out of my body. I was then in the presence of something that I don't have the words to properly describe. It was a feeling of being completely loved and accepted, like nothing I had ever experienced. A perfect sort of divine love that I never wanted to leave. It seemed to be very much like those with NDE's had described, but I had been conscious and just laying in bed at the time. I had the feeling that this presence was God or some type of spiritual being. This happened almost 30 years ago and I still vividly recall the feeling.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes