Let me first start off by saying that I have remembered the following events my whole life. In some periods of my time here, I have thought that these things that I remember are just fantasies - made up delusions or unconscious substitutes such as dreams explaining my waking life. It is through my heart that I know these are, in fact, true. I guess you could say I have faith, but it moreover that I have finally come to terms with the truth in my existences and previous existences.
I remember dying in my previous life. It was from a drug overdose. I won't get into the details, but I do remember it clearly. I remember the instant I left my body; There was a feeling of loss, incompetence, and knowing I could have done better as I floated near the corner of the ceiling looking at my body face down on the desk - motionless. I was faintly amused because I knew it would be quite a few minutes or hours before anybody knew I was dead. Though the feelings of incompetence were still there, I had the instinctual feeling that it was time to move on.
Quite rapidly, I ascended past the ceiling and into the area above the houses - above the city. There were two angels there - each two times a big as trucks - that I met. I had the feeling that one was distinctly more female than the other - just as the other was distinctly more masculine than it's counterpart. No words were exchanged, but I could feel their emotions just as if they were speaking them. They, just as well as I, knew that I could have done much better in that life that I was given there. They told me, in a way, that there were opportunities that I had in which I could have made a difference for the happiness of other people but did not. Still, there were some opportunities to which I had done something for others. These were lessened somewhat by my own guilt - because the older I got in that life (which was still, overall, very young) I wanted more things for myself. I guess you could say that if somebody else was to be helped, I also considered what was in it for me.
I told the angels as best as I could that I was sorry, and that I would do better next time if I could. Their loving smiles were enough to reassure me that everything would be alright. We ascended, as best as I can remember, almost immediately into a white area. It was known to me that this is where I could stay as long as I wanted to re-energize and re-awaken into the form that I truly was. It feels as if a burden is being lifted off from your shoulders there - accompanied by subtly powerful ecstasy that makes you forget everything bad that ever happened to you. It was so bright and white that it completely overwhelms you. Time has no meaning there when you are in that state. It is heaven.
After being in that state (I have no idea for how long - it could have been minutes or years comparably) for awhile, I felt that it was time to leave. I have a distant recollection of meeting different people and saying different things or listening to different things. They didn't really matter that much to me. I knew there was something greater that I had to accomplish here. But it was like looking at a gigantic puzzle - knowing what it was going to become - and having not the faintest idea where to start. However, I didn't even know what I was searching for in the first place here. I'm sorry, but this is the best way I can explain it.
Things kind of go hazy for a while. I guess when you don't have a purpose, your existence fades into a kind of dream. But this brings me to the next very vivid thing that I remember:
I was told by somebody or something that an event was about to happen there; It was something revolutionary for this place. I was chosen to take part in it. I was suddenly in a place surrounded by a grove of trees. Three different trees stood out from all the rest. They were beautiful. Each was full and green, from the deepest, richest browns in the trunks to the brightest and most magnificent shades of green in the canopies. These three were slightly larger than the trees around them. Beside me were two or more people in the middle of the clearing. There must have been other people around us as well - but I knew that we were the center of attention.
I next remember a voice telling me that I had a choice. It said something like, "There is one on earth that you may learn from. He has some time left yet, though he will not be here until late. You must go there if you want to learn in this role. It is not of high stature."
I have a clear recollection of not wanting to go to the world again that soon.
The voice further said, "And your second choice, if you wish, is that you may stay here. One of the masters may be your teacher and companion. You will learn what they have to offer, but it is of limited value compared to what you may learn there (the world)."
I made the decision that I would stay here in heaven. When I made that decision, a few different people walked out from behind the trees. I immediately went to one of the people. I knew this is the person that I would learn from. I saw the others that I was with go to the other teachers. I think that one of them may have walked away. I knew that I would not see those other people in heaven again - but that I might on earth some day. It was explained to me that not many souls would be able to go what I was about to go through. It is very difficult to learn up there, and carry those lessons through with you to different forms and lives.
My teacher, who was an enlightened master, and I would talk for extended periods of time on various topics. I believe they all centered on life and the universe. If they were not related to those things, my teacher had a very wonderful way of brining whatever I asked back to those two fundamental things: life and the universe. He explained that everything had a meaning. He once told me, as I stared at a blade of grass that I held, that, "Everything has a value, but that value is based upon your perception and the value that you assign it." He told me that life and the universe holds everything of value, and that the laws that govern it do not distinguish one life of importance over another. Life itself is God. The universe values life equally; It does not discriminate based on race, gender, health, species or material. Every deed that is done benefits life as a whole - but good intentions are always better than the bad.
It was identified through our talks that the Earth that we inhabit was given as a gift to us just as much as we were given a gift to the earth. Instead, we try to rationally and logically conquer not only each other, but the entire world as a whole. It is a selfishness that we are born into through society. We should be the caretakers of this place, not little things waging war and calamity. But that is besides the point.
I remember my teacher most fondly as we would sit on a park bench overlooking a wondrous valley with soft mountains and a river. I often felt that that place was made exactly for me. I was told that in a sense, it was. I remember feeling so at peace there. I was so happy. I remember my teacher and friend as having a white beard and kind, sparking eyes. There was always a small smile there, as if he knew just exactly what I was always thinking. I asked him once how I was going to remember all of this that he had taught me about existence. He said, "You will remember when the time comes," in such a heartfelt and honest way that I knew I could never forget that. The more I learned, the more I knew it was time to go back to earth.
I resisted the thought or feeling that it was time to go back at first. But gradually I knew it was true. I had to go back. I was scared.... it is so much different there. I have a small memory of running ( i think ? ) to a bridge over a splashing, sparkling river of all the colors of the rainbow reflected in it. I remember seeing a girl on the other side and knowing that she was my soul mate. We laughed, hugged, and cried as I knew we wouldn't be seeing each other for a while. There was so much love. It still reaches me to this day. I remember knowing that she would be going to another part of the world than I when we would incarnate down there.
I remember meeting my future brother. I don't think he remembers meeting me. I remember seeing a few things about my parents. I was given a few different ones to choose from. In the end, I said that wherever God (meaning more or less existence and the universe) wanted me to be was where I should be.
There is a memory of looking down at the earth. It is beautiful, but is so very different compared to everything else. It is rugged and beautiful in it's own way. A soul to the left of me asks if I request anything for this life. I am shown my good deeds (karma?) against my bad in past lives in the form of numbers because this will determine certain circumstances in my next life. I tell this soul that I wish to have a body that is good for yoga and meditation.
Moving fast down to earth, I feel a prickly sensation. There is a guide there to help me into my new body. My memory goes blank for a while. I am told that I must forget everything in order to be born into this life, but I still go on remembering everything. There is a cold sensation, some pain kind of like a headache, and blinding light. Lights seem so bright when you are born, even if they are dim. It would have been so much better in a dark room. I remember a doctor to my upper right. He looks funny because he is wearing glasses and a mask. I would have laughed if I could have, but the light is too bright and makes me cry (i think?). The doctor talks with my parents. It is all incoherent. Everything sounds like fuzz to my ears. Eventually, I distinguish these as separate words from the other noise. It takes a few days. My memory goes blank for a while. I remember angels talking to me a few times - on one occasion telling me that they were leaving me on my own now, and that I would be ok.And that is about it. I don't know how I have remembered all that I have from then until now. It is a miracle to me. It doesn't really matter to me whether you believe it or not, but I do believe that what I tell you is real. I suppose you can take my word, if you want, that life after death is more like a renewed awaking after life. We are in an important time here in the world, don't take it lightly. Help others out. Even small acts of kindness make such a big difference, trust me.