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Jackie S's Experience

Experience description:   

In 1974 after experiencing a very powerful Marriage Encounter weekend I had a dream-vision which changed my whole perspective on living. The 44-hour weekend was very enlightening, very moving, draining and most of all a significant moment in my life and my relationship with my husband, children, parents and the whole universe.  

On the Friday following the Marriage Encounter weekend, Memorial Day Weekend, I put our 2 year daughter Lisa down for a nap and still being tired from the week following our experience, I took a nap around 1:30 in the afternoon before going to work at 5:30 PM. Before falling asleep I asked myself why my step-dad Marcel (who died in October 1973) was so disillusioned with life and gave up on himself and the ones who loved him.?  

At precisely 2:55 PM, 5 minutes before my two older daughters Donna and Joanne were scheduled to get home from school, I had the following experience. The answer came from deep deep inside of me My dad was hurting because no one chose to understand and listen to his feelings, his believes, his thoughts, no one really gave to him the understanding that he needed. Also within me the awareness that hurt is a very self-centered emotion and if you let go of hurt, love can grow again. Seconds after this knowledge came to me, I experienced a great love from my step-dad Marcel (died in 1973), followed by the same great love from my father Alfred (died in 1944 The Battle of the Bulge) and than a tremendous overwhelming love from God, my Father. Arms enveloping me all three together as one being.  

Having been terribly afraid of death and not believing that I was good enough to receive eternal life, this experience gave me the answer to the question of life after life. At that same moment I was lifted above the couch, saw my non moving body on the couch, saw my funeral procession with my children, husband and tried to get up from the couch and could not until I truly believed that if I let go of my self-centeredness I would be free.  

I immediately remembered that Lisa was napping and told myself that I needed to come back to take care of her. I came to just enough to notice that it was 2:55p m. When Donna and Joanne came home I was overwhelmed.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I was very run down physically before the encounter and also in a whirlwind following the intense Marriage Encounter weekend.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     How does one explain the greatest love of ALL?  God, the Source of all Being.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The peak was the encounter with my step-Dad Marcel, my father Alfred and God the Father. Arms enveloping me all three together as one being.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   Overwhelming level, the highest ecstasy that I have ever experienced.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   Acceleration is hard to describe.  You could compare it to a flash of lightening.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   It was not everyday hearing, it was a knowing deep within.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I immediately remembered that Lisa was napping and told myself that I needed to come back to take care of her. I came to just enough to notice that it was 2:55p m. When Donna and Joanne came home I was overwhelmed.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Deep love; some fear and confusion  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I experienced a great love from my step-dad Marcel (died in 1973), followed by the same great love from my father Alfred (died in 1944 The Battle of the Bulge) and than a tremendous overwhelming love from God, my Father. Arms enveloping me all three together as one being.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Uncertain   Jesus through God the Father

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   my step-dad Marcel (died in 1973), followed by the same great love from my father Alfred (died in 1944 The Battle of the Bulge) I was 2 1/2 years old.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Uncertain   Not this first experience but later visions.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
A center that I call Love.  Union with ALL.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time stopped.  Everything happened in about 5 minutes, very very fast.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others
ALL IS ONE

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
I was able to choose and decide to come back, when I remembered that my youngest daughter two years of age Lisa, was sleeping.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life
I made the choice to become less self-centered and was released to come back.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Scenes from the world's future 
The future was NOW in this presence.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I was alive and well and had the knowledge that all beings will live on after the transition from dying.  Also that there is no death, you are carry on from this space to the next space.  It was above my head and yet paralleled.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I experienced God the Father in my being.  I was one with God.  A great source of Love from God to me and from me to God.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   My awareness was that I am, who I am.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   ALL is ONE.  All is connected, a circle.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   It is very difficult to let go of self.  The ego plays a great part and loves to be first.  The greatest gift is to be able to let go and let your Spirit lead you to yourself and the unknown.  It is a the greatest journey, not to plan but to be led by the great Spirit of God.  To let go and let God.  Not in a control type of relationship but in a give and give relationship.  This is the greatest gift.  To accept God's love and know that ALL is well.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   It is very difficult to let go of self.  The ego plays a great part and loves to be first.  The greatest gift is to be able to let go and let your Spirit lead you to yourself and the unknown.  It is a the greatest journey, not to plan but to be led by the great Spirit of God.  To let go and let God.  Not in a control type of relationship but in a give and give relationship.  This is the greatest gift.  To accept God's love and know that ALL is well.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Acceptance of God's love.  God's love is so great and after experiencing this great love, one realizes that it is so overwhelming.  To come back and face the reality takes a life time.  This happened over 38 years ago, and I am still not accepting God's love 100%.  Thank God, I have all eternity because that's how long it will take to fully realize and give myself 100% in love.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   Again, only love heals, only love forgives but first acceptance of this great love.  This is not easy because one is programmed to think about beliefs not experience.  You cannot think this through because it is a mystery and grace comes to those who wait.  God is patient.  God is love.  God knows you, more than you know yourself.  That is the journey, that is the challenge, that is peace, that passes all understanding.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   To live in love, to give without wanting something in return.  To let go of self.  To be free to choose, to love.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Before my experience I believed in the Resurrection but I did not believe that I would be saved just by being loved by God.  I believed I had to earn heaven, earn God's love.  God's love is unconditional, there is nothing that I have to do.  The paradox is that when you receive God's love, that is when you want to do good and give this love to ALL.  It's universal.  Love. does make the world go round.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   This experience will be with me forever.  One cannot deny so great a love.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   My perception of everything and everyone changed 100%. I started understanding myself and others in a different way, I no longer wanted to compete, to be the best.  I still like to win but it doesn't mean much, just a game.

I wanted to give what God has given me, I wanted to make other's aware of this great love.  Our family opened up a Christian book shop.  My husband lost his regular job and we took the leap and managed the book shop together.  My mother, worked a few days and she loved the ministry.  Our daughters all learnt how to minister to others, it was a joy to all be together, sharing the same values.  We met wonderful people, people who loved God and others.  People who gave of themselves and worked hard to pass it on from generation to generation.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   Yes, like St. Paul, I made a 180 degree turn with my life.  I no longer tried to keep up with the Jones-es.  I also became more involved with the parish.  I taught religious education.  My older daughters sang in the Folk Choir.  My husband also became involved.  We made many new friends.  It was a very exciting and fulfilling time for our family.  One of my daughters told me that things weren't boring anymore at home.  No more, keeping the house sparkling clean, let go and enjoy.  I was less tense, less anxious, quit my part-time job and stayed home with the children, until we took over the Christian book shop.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   More awareness of life.  More acceptance of what I have to give.  More understanding of how one person can make a difference.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
My encounter with my father Alfred.  I was 2 when he went off to war in Europe in 1944.  I did not remember him.  Experience his great love for me was a gift that I will have in my heart forever.  This love can not be describe.  It is pure unconditional love.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  With my husband, daughters, mother and siblings.  I also have a personal website, where I share my experience and my autobiography.

One never knows how much influence one has when you share this kind of experience.  Many, do not understand, some do but are questionable and others think it's interesting.  It keeps one humble.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I had no doubts that this was real.  I have had potent dreams before but this was not the same.  The same day that this happened, my uncle came to visit and God sent him at the right time.  I was a mess.  I explained to him my experience and he shared with me the same type of experience that he had in church.  This was very reassuring.  Later, I called my uncle who was a priest and told him about my experience.  This was my father's brother.  My uncle looked at me and noticed that I had lost weight and asked if I had been on drugs?  I said no drugs.  I was a little discouraged by his response but took it ok because after all this was probably something that he had never heard before.  A few weeks later, I was at my Mom's and had another spiritual experience and I called my uncle the priest, who lived nearby and went to see him.  I told him that the experience was like being Confirmed.  I was given the sacrament of Confirmation in the 6th grade.  My uncle tried to reassure me that I would be all right but he did not have much to say about the Holy Spirit.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It was more real than my ordinary life.  It lifted me up to a better understanding of my life with my husband and children.  That this was my purpose, to give what God has given to me.  I still believe and more so than ever.  I have 8 grandchildren to give this love and I am very blest.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   All relationships have changed.  I changed, so all has changed.  I see.  I was blind but now I see.  Sometimes, I think that I am the less blind leading the blind.  I go one step forward and two steps backward.  But I do not quit.  I go on and do my best.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I no longer feel like I have to do or go to special church services.  I choose to be part of the church community.  If people want to count how many times they see me, well, I guess they have nothing better to do.  The truth as set me free.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   I have had many encounters with Jesus and with deceased relatives.  On September 27, 2012, my husband of 51 years passed to the other side and already, I have had several encounters with him.  Mostly, loving encounters.  Some experiences from the past and some from the present but most encounters are intertwined with one another. My daughters also.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   38 years of knowing that God's love will sustain me, has given me the courage since my husband passed, to go on and give the love that we shared to all that I encounter.  There are many gifts of the Spirit but the greatest gift is Love.

The peace that God has given me since my husband's death, passes all understanding.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I am grateful to have had the chance to once again share my spiritual, mystical experiences. 

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        You tell me, I am open to all you have to offer.

Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                    Since my experience came after a very, psychological and spiritual encounter retreat;  I was not certain if it would be accepted by your NDE experts?  I know that this was an NDE but I also know that it was a mystical experience.  Your site does however, look at both experiences.