Henry M's Experiences
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Experience description:
First tour in Vietnam October
1968-October 1969 As I was going on duty during the evening of February 22, 1969
we were informed that recent intelligence indicated there was massive enemy
movements throughout Vietnam and that the area was going to be attacked sometime
that night. The reporters of that intelligence told us that another TET
offensive much like the one in 1968 may be developing. Everyone was on edge and
we patrolled with every precaution and extra ammunition. I was in one section of
Bin Hoa, just to the immediate east of the area where the headquarters of the
101st Airborne Division was located, the town was just outside of that base. My
partner and I were in an area usually crawling with people, and there were none.
Not even a loose dog. It was so quite we could hear the breeze blowing down the
dark streets. Binh Hoa was a sizable city with several hundred thousand people
and was always busy with traffic, people and animals moving about and doing
their business. At midnight we were notified that our alert level went to
'yellow' meaning enemy attack was imminent. The plan was to withdraw from
patrolling the city and return to the MP station at the appropriate time and set
up defensive positions. My partner and I were given one last mission before
being pulled back in to our defense position. About 0100 in the morning we were
told to go to the edge of Binh Hoa City on the west side of the city and provide
an intelligence report about what we could see, if anything. We arrived at our
destination and immediately noted there was not one human being, not one dog,
not one vehicle in sight or moving. We stopped in the middle of the road and
turned off the engine of the jeep. Total silence and all I heard was the wind
blowing. The silence was unnerving and caused us both to be hyper alert. I was
driving and had stopped near the entrance to an alley. It was dark in the alley
for the most part but seemed to have a little light from nearby lights from
homes. As we sat there observing everything I heard a noise in the
alley like metal hitting metal, a clanking noise if you will. My partner quickly
and immediately got onto the M-60 machine mounted on our jeep and I told him to
keep me covered as I got out of the jeep with my M-16 at the ready and started
walking down the alley to check out the noise. I was about 50-75 feet into the
alley when I heard a voice say, 'Get Out'. The voice was male, clear, in English
and I thought someone was standing next to me as it had come from my right side.
I turned to see who that may be and no one was there. I then took two steps
forward and again the voice said 'Get Out'. This time the voice was loud and
harsh with authority stopping me from moving forward. I actually stopped in mid
step. My hair on my arms and head were standing up and I felt immediate over
whelming fear. The fear was so strong that I started slowly backing up with my
weapon at the ready. I never turned around once but backed out of the alley
until I got back to my jeep. We departed the area immediately. As we left the area I called in about the lack of people and
was told we were now at 'red alert level' meaning enemy hostilities had started
and we were directed to return to the MP station. Gun fire and explosions were
heard as we headed away from the area. Other MP patrols came pouring in about
the same time and we were instructed to take positions on the roof of the
Provost Marshal Office. There were explosions and green tracers lighting up the
night sky and by the flares we sent up we could see enemy forces attacking
across a large field directly in front of us. Now for those that do not know,
American forces have red tracers and the Vietcong and North Vietnamese Army have
green. Over the next 48 hours we fought from our defensive positions at the MP
station in Binh Hoa. I will not get into all the details of the next 48 hours
but generally speaking I and my fellow soldiers fought from the roof top of the
MP station as the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese Army attacked towards our
position. Enemy forces were attacking straight at our position and I could see
them coming as the flares we were putting up disclosed the attacking force. We
fired into the attacking enemy but it was not enough. We called in helicopter
gun ships and the C-130 gunship known as 'Spooky' to bring fire on the enemy and
break up their attack. The fire power was awesome. The rate of fire was so fast
from the Gatling guns that at night it looked like a laser being used on the
battlefield and the noise was incredible. This was my first real firefight or
battle and I was damn scared. We had rounds ricocheting off the roof not only
from the VC, but also from Binh Hoa Air Base perimeter forces fighting off
another attacking force. During the night several of us were picked to clear buildings
next to us so we would not have a surprise from the VC. That was a very nerve
racking experience, in the dark with the firing going on to the front of us. The
commanding officer, a colonel directed me and three others to go to a building
next to our position and clear it as he thought we were receiving enemy fire
from a hotel under construction. There were two floors to the building and
myself and another sergeant took the bottom floor while the other two went
upstairs and we began a room by room search. This was about 0300 in the morning
so it was still very dark. The other sergeant with me froze and failed to assist
me with clearing the rooms. I ended up clearing the rooms by myself on the first
floor. After clearing all 20 rooms by myself I was bathed in sweat and my
uniform was soaking wet. We never found any enemy in the building and returned
to our defensive positions next door. We were not the target but the Binh Hoa Air Base was and we
were located between the attacking forces and the air base. This was my first
battle and I was scared but I never felt the fear I felt in that alley. After
several days of fighting the enemy forces withdrew and we started collecting
information and patrolling again. One of the intelligence reports I was able to
read described the following information. On the west side of Binh Hoa enemy
forces had attacked in mass against the Binh Hoa Army Base where the
headquarters for the 101st Airborne Division was located. The attack was being
directed from a NVA headquarters element located in a building at the end of an
alley. This location was attacked by gunships and US ground forces killing 33
enemy at that location. I went back out to that location and verified this was
the same alley I had walked down. Rocket fire from gunships destroyed that end
of the alley. Bodies were still being removed. It was the same alley that the
NVA had set up their headquarters in preparation for the attack on the army
base. Where did this voice come from? My guardian angel from the other side? I
most certainly would have been captured or killed by the NVA without any doubt
in my mind if I had continued down that alley. Second tour Vietnam February 1971
–
August 1971 Then on June 12, 1971, about 9 am in the morning as we were
monitoring convoy traffic from the top of the An Khe Pass on Route QL-19, the
convoy carrying ammunition was ambushed. Our job was to break up the ambushes
and we moved into the kill zone. We immediately came under heavy automatic
weapons fire and rocket propelled grenades. The first four trucks and a jeep had
been destroyed in the initial attack. Since this is a main highway there was
traffic going both ways. A civilian bus carrying passengers had also been hit.
All passengers were dead. A South Vietnamese Army jeep was hit. It had two Quan
Cong (Vietnamese MP’s) and a prisoner in the jeep. All were dead. There was an
American soldier lying in the road. He was alive but his right leg was gone at
the knee and his right arm was just hanging on by shreds of muscle. He kept
trying to get up and move off the road as rounds kept hitting around him. At this point something very strange happened. I relate this
not to show what I did or my crew did, but for another reason that should be
clear as you read this account. The enemy fire was absolutely intense. As I
started to leave the protection of the V-100, I said, 'God protect me.' This
unique feeling came over me. It felt like a wall was around me and I felt
protected, almost as if was surrounded by beings. Bullets were hitting all
around me. Passing between my legs, under my arms and I could hear the bullets
as they passed my head. The bullets sounded like angry bees. I covered the
soldier on the ground while returning fire and we were both protected. This
feeling of protection did not leave me until after the firefight was over
several hours later. I started first aid and signaled for a 'dust-off', medical
evacuation helicopter. Helicopter gun ships were flying right over me and my
crew in the V-100, about one hundred feet above firing rockets into the hillside
where we were getting a lot of enemy fire. Spent cases from the machine guns
being fired from the helicopters kept falling onto the road all around us. But
that was ok, it allowed the dust-off to land in the middle of the firefight and
I carried the soldier to the helicopter and he was taken away. I learned later
that he lived. As I returned to the V-100, several rounds passed under my left
arm and wounded one of my crew in the hand. I was never wounded in that battle
(but was several weeks later by explosion). The battle lasted for several hours
and my crew and I pulled in six US soldiers that had been trapped in the kill
zone from the convoy and a number of wounded soldiers, Vietnamese and US. We
found some construction vehicles that were being used to lay asphalt on the
road. Behind the vehicles were four road workers, all executed by being shot in
the back of the head, most likely to keep them from ruining the ambush. After
that, one of the other V-100’s was near the beginning of the convoy that had
come under initial attack and I saw an MP laying on the ground with another
soldier, a Vietnamese soldier. I went to them, or I should say crawled to them
as firing from enemy forces was still on going. We both tried to keep this
soldier alive. He had been shot in the chest and had three sucking chest wounds.
We put plastic wrappings from C Rations on his wounds and applied pressure
trying to keep his lungs inflated but it failed and as we lay there in the dirt
holding him he died in my arms. I told the other MP to get back to his V-100 and
continue holding that position until we could get additional firepower into the
area and stop the ambush. After contact was broken off we found nine dead North
Vietnamese Army soldiers. By documents captured it was discovered that a
reinforced NVA infantry company had ambushed the convoy. The difference here is
that the Viet Cong usually hit and run. The NVA are professional soldiers and
they stay and fight. A tough day for each one of us. I received the Silver Star
for this action and my two crewmen each received the Bronze Star for Valor and
the one that was wounded also received the Purple Heart. God and his angels were
with us on that day I am absolutely convinced of it. I felt His presence and HIS
presence was overwhelming. After is battle I was completely drained of energy. My uniform
was soaked in blood from other wounded soldiers. That night I slept heavily and
woke up completely sore and every muscle in me hurt. I remember sitting around
the next day asking myself why I was still alive. What I experienced is just as
fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. After arriving back in the United
States I never feared dying again. I have since had multiple tours in Iraq and
Afghanistan from 2003 to 2007, with my last tour of combat just weeks before my
60th birthday, but never had those same experiences happen again even though I
was exposed to life threatening circumstances. I just have no fear of death
because I know it will be ok in the afterlife. At the time of your experience was there an associated
life-threatening event?
Was the experience
difficult to express in words?
Yes I had to think over multiple times what happened and
tried to articulate it the best I could but some things like in the second
incident of 'people' or a 'wall' were hard to describe and difficult to
identify.
At what time during the
experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
In the alley as I entered the alley way until I left the alley. in the second
incident when I left the protection of the V-100 armored vehicle until the
battle was over some hours later.
How did your highest
level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your
normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than
normal I heard a voice clear and distinct during the first incident in which I
was warned twice. There has never been a repeat of such an incident again. The
second incident I felt a distinct feeling of protection like a wall and a sense
of someone or multiple someone with me.
Please compare your
vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately
prior to the time of the experience.
At the time I wore glasses in both instances. In the first
incident it was my hearing that was impacted. My vision seemed unusually sharp.
In the second incident my glasses were knocked off somehow, but for some reason
everything was sharp and clear and I almost felt guided in what I did.
Please compare your
hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately
prior to the time of the experience.
My hearing was sharp during the first incident and I seemed
to hear many things but the voice was what I recall the most of and how real and
close it was too me and then how it scared me deeply forcing me to change my
advance. The second incident my hearing seem as if it faded. The noise was
incredible due to the heavy gunfire and I depended on what I was seeing mostly.
Did you see or hear any
earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness /
awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
Yes The voice and the feeling of
persons or a wall.
What emotions did you
feel during the experience?
Fear in first and second incident, then calmness and a
sense of protection during the second incident.
Did you pass into or
through a tunnel? No
Did you see an
unearthly light? No
Did you seem to
encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?
I heard a voice I could not
identify
The voice in the first incident was clear, in English, male, at first the voice
said, 'Get out' in a 'directive way' and when I did not comply and continued
forward the voice the second time was harsh, very direct and louder giving me
deep fear and I complied.
Did you encounter or
become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by
name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?
No
Did you encounter or
become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
No
Did you become aware of
past events in your life during your experience?
No
Did you seem to enter
some other, unearthly world?
No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
This happened in second
incident, time slowed. I felt like I was in slow motion.
Did you suddenly seem
to understand everything?
No
Did you reach a
boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain
I question if the voice was essentially a barrier since it stopped me. I also in
the second incident felt this wall or barrier around me, but not limiting me
from going forward or backward.
Did you come to a
border or point of no return?
No
Did scenes from the
future come to you? No
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there
either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after
death”)? Uncertain Not
sure about voice. However, second incident I have and continue to identify that
the protection I felt was person(s) and I called them angels or God. I can not
shake or change this feeling as it is constant.
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme
being either does (or does not) exist?
Uncertain Just my feelings that were and are pronounced.
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or
did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
No
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal
connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?
No
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s
meaning or purpose? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific
information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or
hardships? No
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?
No
During your experience,
did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not
shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?
No
Did you have a sense of
knowing special knowledge or purpose?
No
What occurred during
your experience included:
Content that was both consistent and not consistent with
the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Prior to my first experience
I had questions about God and afterlife and was unsure. After the 'voice' I
questioned my belief and decided there is a God. Just prior to my second
experience I had been exposed to other combat (not to the degree of my
experience) and had just found out my then wife was leaving me and had a
profound sense of not caring if I lived or died, yet, I immediately asked for
God's protection and it was given in a millisecond, it was just there. After
returning to the States I felt like I had climbed onto a higher plateau in life
and I needed to do better and felt as if I was suppose to do 'something', just
did not know what it was.
How accurately do you
remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around
the time of the experience?
I remember the experience more accurately than other life
events that occurred around the time of the experience. My memory and recall of
both these incidents are crystal clear as if they just happened.
Discuss any changes
that might have occurred in your life after your experience:
I searched for a religion that I
could identify with and have meaning in my life. I went to different churches
looking for meaning. I changed from Lutheran to Catholic in 2006 as a result of
my wife thinking this was what I have been looking for. I still have difficulty
with organized religion, yet, I do believe there is a God and there is an
afterlife. I have decided to understand Jesus as best as I can and what he
taught and let the rest of it come as it may. I have become more compassionate
towards people over the years and always seeking knowledge about life and how
people think and I am obsessed with seeking this knowledge. I have come to
believe 'love' is the right answer to life. Jesus gave his commandment to love
everyone including your enemies and that is almost impossible for us to do and I
am far from perfection but am driven to try. These two incidents caused me to
view life differently and drove me to improvement.
My experience directly resulted in:
Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Yes I find all life is valuable, not just some lives, but
everyone. I forgive easier then I ever have before.
Do you have any
psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did
not have before the experience?
Yes Highly intuitive. In fact I have used this 'gift' as an
extension of my former career as a polygraph examiner not only in determining if
someone is truthful prior to the examination but mostly in the interrogation
phase of a test if someone fails. Obtained many confessions as a result of this
intuition. I seem to have the ability to read people exceptionally well in every
day life outside the polygraph examination. An inner sense if you will.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
All of it is meaningful as the experiences are unique, at least to me, as I have
never talked to anyone else that has had these types of experiences. I am sure
there are people that have, but I have never met anyone.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes I shared them for the first time
with my 2d wife in the early 1990's. She seemed curious and surprised, but
seemed to have lost interest and I stopped talking about it. But at the same
time it was hard to talk about and describe. I am not sure if she was influenced
or not. I hesitate talking about this with others.
Did you have any
knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
What did you believe
about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
Experience was
definitely real I question why I was still alive and I used to sit and dwell on
it to make sure it was real. I did not question that it happened and I have
always been sure it has, but I ask myself why me.
What do you believe
about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real The
voice during the first incident and the feeling of protection/person in the
second incident are very real to me. I have managed over the years when I think
about these experiences to place them in a special place in my mind that gives
me comfort knowing I actually had these experiences. I feel privileged to have
had this happened to me as if I was given something to learn and know.
Have your relationships
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes I went through a period of time
after Vietnam, some 10 years or so disliking people because of the way they
treated veterans and distanced myself from most people making it hard to know
me. I started to drink too much, but got a hold of myself and stopped doing
that. No drugs. I entered one relationship after another trying to find myself.
I then mentally 'grabbed' myself and got my life in order, put my experiences
away for the most part, but kept thinking of what happened to me and decided I
needed to be true to myself as well as others. Met my wife and now have been
married for almost 26 years and have been happy. These days when I have
something come up problematic or when I am trying to help someone I think of
these experiences and tell myself I was spared to help others.
Have your religious
beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes I do not attend
church.
At any time in your
life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?
Uncertain My experiences in Iraq and
Afghanistan. Even though I was a federal civilian with CIA and DIA and not in
direct combat operations I was in high stress assignments with assignments to
special operations polygraph assets and sources in remote and denied areas,
sometimes with fire fights near by while doing my work. Somehow, I had a sense
of well being and an inner voice that I was going to be alright despite the
nearby dangers.
Is there anything else
that you would like to add about your experience?
I am now more at peace in my life
then I have ever been and when I look back over the many things I have done an
my life I am amazed I am still alive.
Did the questions asked
and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience? Yes The
questionnaire provided me an opportunity to try and fully explain me and my
experiences.
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?
I am fascinated with the subject area and read many experiences in an attempt to understand what happened to me. I do not call my experiences an NDE in the true sense of the label as I understand it, but I am trying to find a label I guess to identify what did happened to me.