Helen N's Experience

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Experience description:   

Something has bothered me most of my adult life...an 'experience' I 'seem' to have had when I was very young.  I have no idea of my age then, other than I knew I was a small child; perhaps 6 or 7? I have no way to document what happened; or seemed to have happened to me.

Of this experience I can only remember I seemed to be floating/flying in a dark void.  There seemed nothing around me, as I was going 'up'.  I seemed to be wearing a long white gown.  I can remember my long hair whipping around my face as I 'saw' myself being propelled higher into the vast nothingness. 

The next thing I seem to remember hearing my voice crying: "I want my world back; I want my world back!"  Then I was 'waking up' and my hands were opening and closing, grasping the covers on a hospital bed, and they (my hands) felt similar to what it feels like when your hands or feet 'fall asleep' when you lay on them for a long period of time; stinging or numb feeling.  I remember a doctor and some nurses standing around my bed.  I do not remember anything they said or did; but I can remember those words in my head..."I want my world back!"

I do know that I was in a hospital when I was very young to have my tonsils removed; so not sure if something went wrong during the surgery and this could have been when this happened or not.  Also, I wonder about another time something happened to me....I was swimming with  older siblings, and I remember a bigger child pushing me into deep water, going down, swallowing nothing but water and then...not being able to breath....nothing more.  I can even remember the little red, white and blue bathing suit I was wearing.  It makes me wonder if I drowned and was revived later; and this is when the  NDE happened.

I know this experience is vague, and not in great detail as others I have been reading about on your site; but felt the 'need' to share.  I have never told anyone else about this, (although it has bothered me many time during my lifetime); and just recently related this experience to my daughter; who, like me, believe in 'another life plane'.

Did I have a NDE?  I don't honestly know.  I only know it was an experience like none other I have ever experienced since; but remains as vivid today as it was when it happened.  I do have 'dreams' sometimes of this experience, and always wake up feeling drained; but still very much able to 'feel' the stinging/feeling returning sensation in my hands as mine did when I awaked from that experience.  

Sadly, I am the only remaining member of my family, so have no one to ask as to what might have happened for me to have that experience;  now that I'm mature enough to do so. 

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

Uncertain, if this happened when I was in hosp. for surgery or when I 'drowned'.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Always afraid if I would tell anyone, they would not believe me, and perhaps, since I told no one all these years, they would now think I am becoming  'senile'. (Trust me, my mind is alert and very active and clear!)

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes


What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Unsure

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No, it was very real and frightening for a young child.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Scared that I was being taken from my world.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           no

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Uncertain

I do remember crying that "I want my world back!"

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

When I recently told my daughter, she felt I must have had an OBE; as she and I both always felt there is 'another life' other than this in which we now live and exist.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Can't really remember when I was a child; but in past years, have remembered it in dreams.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Worse part was the feeling of the unknown, as it would be to any small child, being 'taken' to place they didn't know...all alone.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I have never felt 'crazy' when I remember this...but never felt I could tell it to anyone for fear they would think I had flipped out.   I do know that I do not fear death; but I do question many things written in my bible.  Although I love Jesus and attend church reg.  I do not feel the actual NEED to attend church; as my spiritual love of Jesus is deep within me, and not something I feel I must seek.  I just know with an absolute there is a God of great love.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No, I believe you have covered it completely; and I can't thank you enough for setting up this site to help those of us with the 'unexplained' happenings of our lives.