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Hayo J's Experience

Experience description:   

I was 14 years old and in my attic room, from nowhere....total happiness, I was somewhere else but I also wasn't, I just was it.

I haven't seen or heard people, angels, landscapes, tunnel or the road towards it or something like that. But I do think I was There, all at once, in the light. In all the love, in a certainty, in warmth, in the most beautiful thing I have ever felt. In something every human being is searching for.

After the first experience I had the same experience one week later. I knew very clearly how to have these experiences, by being open and honest. Something I try to be in an almost compulsive way.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?  Yes, it was incredibly beautiful, certainly nothing earthly which was accessible to my parents. 

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No. 

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  During the entire experience. 

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?  More consciousness and alertness than normal. 

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: During the entire experience. 

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal every day vision?  Yes, I saw nothing with my eyes but I was There, I was It, with all my sense organs and all that I am, as a whole. 

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal every day hearing?  Yes, I heard nothing with my ears but I was There, I was It, with all my sense organs and all that I am, as a whole. 

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  Uncertain. 

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  Happiness, warmth, acknowledgement, love, it was all Good. 

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No. 

Did you see a light?  It was not specifically outside of me I was in the middle of it, I was part of the light by being it myself. 

Did you meet or see other beings?   No. 

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  All my fears, obscurities and questions from the past were answered. I received acknowledgement for myself. I also got some sort of directives and I still live by them: openness, honesty and willingness to help. 

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No. 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes, I think the highest dimension of what we call happiness. 

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes, there was no time or space, no questions, no matter. 

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  I was in the middle of the happiness everyone is searching for, I was it and I also received the knowledge how to have these moments again. 

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No.  

Did you become aware of future events?  Yes, I know exactly when I lie or do something "wrong", I feel and see a lot with other people. 

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain, clear feeling.... 

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes, with my then girlfriend and a friend, my girlfriend believed I had had some kind of experience. But you can't get the essence across so in my idea it remained very earthly.

On my 45th birthday I came in touch with a foundation called Merkawah, which is part of IANDS. I then became aware of the name of my experience and I attended some meetings. 

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience(NDE) prior to your experience?  No. 

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly after it happened.  Experience was definitely real. It was unbelievable and it had a great impact on my being. I never doubted it. 

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?  The predominating love everyone lives for. 

How do you currently view the reality of your experience. Experience was definitely real. I still experience the good that came of it which is prove to me. 

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes, I have tried to make my family happy in a compulsive way. I still want happiness for everyone and not just for one partner. 

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes, predominating. 

Following the experience have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Uncertain. I have used heroine once, it came a bit close but more in the physical way. 

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes, but the essence can't be captured in words. What I have written is the best I can do with words.