Experience description:

50 years ago, when I was 12, I was reading a kid-sized explanation of Einstein's theories about time and space. I was lying on my bed, my mind whirling with these ideas, when I suddenly zoomed out of my body and into endless, star-studded space. As the stars slowly turned all around me, I felt myself as infinitely small, a tiny atom of being in all this glorious vastness. I somehow knew that life had gone on for eons before my existence and would continue long after I was gone.  I felt a great comfort. Then the feeling of comfort expanded into an enormous sense of love surrounding me.  I knew this love wasn't just for me, but for the whole universe.  I felt completely held in this loving presence. Then I zoomed back into my body.  I shook and cried in wonder for some time that day before returning to my ordinary young life.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?   No           

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?           Yes     I can describe it now, but at the time I could not find the words, and did not tell anyone for fear they would think I was crazy.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?        Uncertain            I had been sexually assaulted before this incidence occurred

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?          I felt very alert and alive

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  No.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     I felt like a speck of life  in comparison to the vast space surrounding me.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           great wonder and love

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?          No sounds

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No      

Did you see a light?          Uncertain      I was surrounded by brilliant stars     

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?            No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?    No      

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes     I felt the infinity of time and space

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   Yes            I knew that I was a small speck in a vast universe and existed for a tiny span within the eternity of time

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?            No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?     No         

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Uncertain      I think that this experience reduced my fear of my death or anyone else's. I began to explore other cultures and religions at about this time.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I began to disengage from the conservative faith I was raised in and began(secretly) to explore other religions.  I'm sure that this experience led me to study Anthropology and psychology.     

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I didn't share this experience for at least 20 years - well after I was married and had children of my own.

What emotions did you experience following your experience? For years, it was hard to hang on to the reality of my experience.  But the more I read about the nature of religious/spiritual experience, and the more I trusted myself, the easier it was to know that this experience was real and probably more common than our society recognizes.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The experience was wonderful.  The loneliness of not daring to tell anyone about it only increased my sense of isolation and distance from my family

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       Since this experience, I have had other experiences during meditation that included out of body experiences.