Eric L's's Experience


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Experience description:   

I believe it was mid winter when the experience happened.  I myself being under great emotional strain due to severe depression which spawned from complications from my Cerebral Palsy was simply laying down in my room for a nap.  My frame of mind was one of turmoil and loathe, I remember wishing for death and deliverance from the constant pain that I was dealing with.  This unfortunately wasn't a rare occurrence at this time, but I truly believe that my wish was granted this night. 

I was laying there trying to relax when the feeling of calm swept over my entire body.  At the time I thought I was merely drifting off to sleep, but it quickly became more then that.  While laying on my bed and enjoying this "calmness" I begin to feel my self drift away, like the feeling of detachment.  I remember in one instant out of the dark that I then realized that I was looking down at myself.  I saw myself laying on my bed and my room around me, oddly I don't recall ever being afraid.  I felt at peace and weightless, there was no sense of pain or sadness.  While I seemed to be floating about 4 feet above my body I then remember being pulled up through my ceiling and stopping just above the roof of my home. 

It was night and the sky seemed more vivid then I'd ever recalled it being and I felt strong and calm there was no sense of my disability or any limitations, I felt at ease looking into the sky.  The next thing that happen was in the sky to my far left there came a hole or void that seemed to open silently from the sky.  All I remember feeling was that I was going home and this is where I was supposed to be.  Then a whitish glow or energy embraced me and was pulling me towards the void, which was now a cascade of turning soft pastel colors. 

Suddenly I was in this "tunnel"  I first noticed a great radiant light in the distance that seemed alive, radiating a great warmth towards me as I approached slowly down this tunnel.  I felt indescribable I felt totally free, no worries, no pain, no regrets, no sadness just perfect peace.  I do remember in the distance and becoming more clear was multiple shapes of what looked like to be shapes of people, they where radiant with golden hues and curious stares.  And then the moment that I noticed them I seemed to have stopped my descent and then I felt a huge sensation that I was falling. 

The thing I remember next was my body jerking very hard like in a dream when your falling and you wake just before you strike the ground, this woke me in a rush.  But the most curious thing happened as I awoke I distinctly recall hearing a very comforting, soft voice in my ears saying "It is not your time".  I heard this for at least 3 mins after awaking.  It took me 3 years to tell anyone about this It was just to hard to fathom but when I did tell my Mother I got a string surprise.  I told her about the "people I saw and explained how one of them look and she told me that it sounded like I'd described my great grand mother that passed away before I was born!  So I do believe that this experience was real and genuine.  And no body can make me think other wise.



Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain


I was on multiple anti-depressive and anxiety drugs prior to the experience but this has never happened before or again while taking the medications.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain

visually I could and can recall what I seen in detail but emotionally it was  or still is hard to define in words.  It was too grandiose in feeling to define in words and still is.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I felt fully aware and even more conscious then I might be even awake.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Only when I just lost consciousness.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

My appearance was like mist very light and I seemed to have the feeling that I was flowing through the air.  I felt stronger then I ever felt before and oddly older. I seemed to be as of a light mist, with a whitish coloring.  That's the best that I can describe it.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           I think I remember hearing a light low hum in the void.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes

            Describe:      Yes a "tunnel that was the color of beautiful pastels that rotated in a counter-clockwise slow motion.  Very large but soothing like I knew this place.

Did you see a light?           Yes

A very brilliant radiating light in the distance that seemed to be and feel alive.  Very white.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

They seemed to be at the end of the tunnel, I don't recall recognizing any of them.  They seemed to just look at me, very unimposing.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

The experience itself felt like it lasted for at least 3 minutes, but when I awoke I had been in my room for over 4 hours.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I came to know the transition from this life to the next, at least for a brief time.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes

I remember seeing what looked like two hands in the distance that I knew when I saw them that I would not be able to pass.  They seemed to symbolize that I couldn't pass.  If I did I would not come back.  I knew this I don't know I how I know it I just did.  Beyond them rests home.  That's what I felt.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

As soon as I saw what I believed to be "hands" I knew I'd had to return.  I was saddened and some what angered because I wanted to stay in this peace.

 



Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

The only thing that I see now that is different that wasn't different before my NED is that I am able with good accuracy read and profile one's feeling and personality.  I seem to have a ability to "know" the person and figure them out.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

My root beliefs haven't changed but I did and have become angered because I felt that that peace and comfort was taken away, and I yearn for it.  I took it as beauty and also as a taunt.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I find myself wanted to work in the fields of pediatric psychology working with the disabled.  I have become more opened to things now that the experience has really set in.  More open to love and compassion.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I know now that Death itself is nor death or ending its transition and I know that I am here to help the children of disabilities with coping with life and society.



Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

My parents and one other.  No change as accrued with them to my knowledge

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  A great sense of understanding and enlightenment mixed with anger and sadness.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was the peace and alleviation, the worse was having to come back.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        There is something just beyond our vision and reach.  There is a higher conscious.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Yes.  This is the very best that I can possibly describe the inducible in words.  The questionnaire was very helpful.