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Don J's Experience

Experience description:   

I was seeing a Holistic EMDR licensed Therapist for grief counseling. He had taught me some chi gong exercises to practice. I was siting on the floor of his office (Indian Style) using the chi gong exercise: Palm facing my body and rolling my hands over each other repeatedly from the length of my head to the bottom of my torso. The therapist asked me to close my eyes. As I was in the process of closing my eyes. I noticed that the color of the therapist's neck tie became magnified, very rich in color, and stayed in my mind as a vivid picture when I closed my eyes. Then I saw the blackness of my mind. After a few seconds, something that looked light a lighted doorway gradually appeared. This was much more vivid than the soft images we can all see in our minds during imagination. The vivid white light captured my attention. As I watched it, a black silhouette materialized in the light. It formed into the silhouette of a young man wearing a suit. The black and white image was very vivid and gradually took on color as the image moved toward me in my mind. The best way I can describe it is that it was like watching television in your mind. I was so surprised that I opened my eyes and described what I saw to the therapist. He was at a loss to explain it and told me to close my eyes and go back to it. When I closed my eyes, it was all still there. I was captivated as I watched it. As it moved closer I watched it with intensity, only to see it start to disintegrate at the point in which it was becoming the most colorful and clear. It was definitely a young man but the details of the facial features were not as distinct to recognize the person with certainty.

Background Information:

Date of experience:          June, 2014

Length of time between death of deceased and your experience:  About three months

Was the date of the experience significant in any way?    No significant date.

General geographic location of experience:  Akron, Ohio

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:        During a session with a Holistic EMDR Therapist who was taking me through a Chi Gong exercise while I was sitting down.

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:  Moderate sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:        Fully alert

After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:  Wonderful

Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes    One experience of the type described

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

No one I have relayed the experience to has ever heard of such a thing, nor have I seen it described anywhere.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?         

Uncertain

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       No

Did you see the deceased?       Uncertain

The person I saw was certainly about the same age as my son. The facial structure was similar, but I was not totally certain it was my son. This young man was wearing a suit--something my son did not wear in real life. So, I felt confused that it was indeed my son.

           
How clearly did the deceased appear?            This was in my mind as clearly as if I was watching television but at a greater distance, so it appeared small. The person went from black and white to color as it moved closer or became larger. The face was not so distinct that I could make a perfect recognition.

           
How much of the deceased did you see?       From the legs up, but as it moved forward the perspective changed to being able to see it from the waist up, then from the chest up just before it disintegrated.

           
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   They appeared to be the same age.

           
How healthy did the deceased appear to be?           He appeared very clean and healthy. My son was depressed with little attention to his appearance before he died.

           
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? There is not way that something in my environment could account for this event. This was like watching a television show unfold in my mind.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      about two minutes

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      Gradual. His appearance took time to evolve. First, I saw the light, then the silhouette, then the color and movement forward. The disintegration took about 4 to 5 seconds.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          No

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          I was so surprised to see a clean, healthy young man, that it made me uncertain that it was my son.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   I have never experience anything like this before. It was like watching television in my mind. I had no control over the experience. I opened my eyes at one point to tell the therapist what I was. When I closed my eyes again, it was still there just as vivid as ever. I've never seen anything that vivid in my mind before. I was completely alert the entire time.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was quite relaxed because I felt very comfortable with the therapist. I felt some sadness but was eager to cooperate with my therapy. I was alert because I wanted to listen to and follow any instructions from the therapist.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain

This experience certainly opened my mind and changed my view of reality. It made me want to explore and understand what had happened to me. I have become more spiritual as a result of this experience.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The best part is that it happened. It made me much more aware and open to experience. I have become more tolerant and patient with others. I am more understanding and empathetic with others. The worst part is not being able to have this experience happen again or to verify that it was my son.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     I believe in ESP completely now. I socialize with more people who accept it, and have experienced a superstar medium who left me with no alternative but to believe that there is something going on that deserves more attention and research. She was so spot on that I am convinced that it was not possible for her to have guessed the details she told me. She told me the contents of the suicide note written by my son. At the time, I had not read the note. I recorded our session. When I read the note later, she was right about what it said and much more. I am more tolerant, empathetic, and patient with others.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes    I know that something is going on that I cannot explain. I have opened up much more spiritually because at least I am accepted when I talk about such experiences. I am more open-minded. I now accept and believe that ESP or PSI is real.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    I know that something very unusual happened to me that I am still at a loss to explain. It has motivated me to explore spiritual experiences. I have been hopeful that it will happen again but it has not. I would like to experience it again. It was absolutely fascinating.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?         No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?         I was surprised, astounded, and at a loss to understand what had just happened. I was eager to understand or make sense of the experience. My therapist had no answers for me.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

There was the feeling of a change in the way I experienced space. When I saw the magnified colors and print of the therapists necktie, it was as if I was looking at it under a high powered microscope. I could see every detail in vivid color. I was stunned by this, wondering what had just happened. Immediately upon closing my eyes, the white light began to appear in my mind.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes

The experience was something I could never have imagined happening to me. I know that something very unusual happened. It was not a hallucination because it was vivid, orderly, appeared concrete, and made sense. I was also awake and alert. Something happened to me that day that has stayed with me forever. I want desperately to understand it.

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes

I had rashes of psychic experiences that startled me. I'm out-going and engage in conversations with people I don't know. They would respond with a stunned look because I had told them things during the course of the conversation that were true for them without ever meaning to do it. I would say things to them, half joking, and they would respond with, 'How did you know that?' I was as surprised as they were. Sometimes I would just think of things and they would happen.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        Yes

The light was bright white which made the silhouette of the person stand out vividly.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    One therapist said I was hallucinating and that my mind was playing tricks on me. Another person said that it was the devil. Others have been receptive but cannot relate to this specific type of event. Some others have been right at home with it all.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? I would very much like to have a better understanding of what happened to me and would enjoy having the experience again. I am very open to working with researchers.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     Yes 

I had an out-of-body experience about 20 years ago.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes