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Dolly's Experience

Experience description:   

It seems to me this was not a dream, rather a state of being. Yet I was asleep, though with a clear sensation of being awake.

I could see my sleeping self and at the same time I could feel what the sleeping person was feeling: I was in a state of perfect happiness, belonging to a level different from that on which I am now living. I experienced the fulfilment of one whose needs have all been realized, or who no longer has any needs. I felt surrounded by an envelope of love, I seemed like a foetus. I could hear music, but without its being "physical" music, and I was the one who heard it and also the one who was asleep, at the same time. I was immersed in a bath of warmth. With closed eyes I could see the light, but not the light we are familiar with; it was a light with several dimensions. Throughout this state I had a sort of awareness of my "earth" life, of those around me, my house, as if I could see them, as if I could feel them, as if I was with them, but I was also aware at the same time of another level. A voice, which was my own voice, strong and gentle at the same time, said to me: "You see, this is what being dead is like."

(It was my interior voice which spoke to me, just as I awoke, not another voice, neither during the experience nor at that moment).

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain. The impressions or sensations (were) not what one knows in ordinary life.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Right from the beginning until the end

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: Right from the beginning until the end

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes, I seemed to be seeing with my whole body or with all my senses, not just with my eyes. The light was nourishing in every way, as if it  was able of itself to fill all my senses to overflowing.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?

Yes. I don't remember having "heard" things, but had the feeling that all my senses were receiving something original and special.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? An experience of serenity and the feeling of being fulfilled, as if I no longer had any needs. The light was simultaneously love, food, warmth, tenderness. Around me were vague presences, we were together. On waking up, I had the frustrating feeling that I had not felt the smallest need, the least desire, throught this unexpected experience, and at the same time I keep the memory of something extraordinary, unknown previously or since, right until now.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No

Did you see a light? Yes, something of the greatest possible luminosity, sparkling, as if this light were broken into a multitude of stars. But I found myself "at the edge", at a kind of limit, not at the center nor really quite inside.

Did you meet or see any other beings? Uncertain. I knew that there was a multitude of presences, some of them members of my family who had died, but all these presences were anonymous, they were not clearly defined by identity; I felt them, but could not see them. All these presences surrounded me and lived in the same light, experiencing no more needs or desires. Nothing was said to me. I don't know if they were in "residence" for eternity, or "waiting" to return to this life.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes. No more notions of physical things, it was as if time or space had other "dimensions" which I conceive more as "quality" than as "measure".

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes, I think I had access at that time to something natural, which I did not question, but when I woke up I was aware of having lived through something which touched on the very essence of the mysteries of life.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes, I felt myself as  at the "edge"  of this world, but also "in  the light", since I felt something quite extraordinary. It was like being at the doorway, without actually having crossed the threshold.

Did you become aware of future events? No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? No

Have you shared this experience with others? Yes, I told it straight off to a friend. She was not surprised, and it is she who told me I had not had a "strange dream", which is what I believed on waking... I don't think that I influenced her in any way, but I knew that I could confide in her about my experience, which I myself had difficulty in really seeing as just a dream, although I could not put this into words.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real, because when dreaming I only have familiar experiences, ones I have in real life. I immediately made the distinction between what I "lived through" in this experience and what I experience in dreams or in real life; nothing was familiar or common.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? The experience of fulfillment, of love which nurtures the whole being, which knows every need in advance. I felt this light was the food of my whole being and that it protected me against everything.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real. My memory of it is still as clear as it was then and it has never been repeated. This happened 20 years ago, but the memory has not faded, it is as if it is inscribed in my cells; this is less a memory than something lived which is outside time.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I went to sleep, to take a nap, and woke up without any other thing happening in my sleep, or anyway I have no memory of it. My awakening was clear and sudden.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? No. For some things it was clear, for others not sufficient. I don't think I can really describe what happened.