Dennis B's Experience

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Experience description:   

I had none of the common experiences described in the many accounts that I have read on this site. No dark tunnel, no bright lights, no life review, boundaries to cross or meeting with people passed on--none of it. It is this absence of events that makes me a little doubtful if I am not wasting your time.

I was walking, perhaps floating, toward trees that were about 200 meters further on. Everything around me was bright with color. I cannot describe the feeling of absolute happiness and serenity--sheer bliss would be the best way to describe it. There was a feeling of absolute reality--this was home where I had always been. Everything about me was clean, above all I felt clean inside. I am not of course speaking of dust and dirt, I mean clean of spirit and heart, and clean in thought. A young woman walked (floated?) diagonally from right to left across my path, about half way between me and the trees. She turned and looked at me and waved, and I waved in return. I did not recognize the woman, but she felt familiar to me.

That is all there was in my 'experience'. In a matter of moments the color about me drained away and all became dark and faded. I could dimly see the outline of bookcases, then the indistinct shape of a wardrobe--then I knew that I was laying on my bed. It is hard to describe the desolation and deprivation I felt as I tried to come to terms with my return to 'life'.

I knew that my experience had not been a dream, at least, I felt that way for several weeks. Gradually, as time passed and my usual cynicism reasserted itself. I began to wonder if all that had happened was nothing more than a wonderful dream, if so, then it was as far removed from conventional dreams as I am from walking on the moon.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Language is inadequate to describe the emotional part of the experience.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Perfectly normal--this was life and was where I had always been.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   See answers to 4 and 5

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

I have had one OBE, about 45 years ago, but not at this time I am writing of.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           No

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain, My experience was sparse, but everything was beautiful.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

If I could rid myself of apprehension when thinking of the process of dying, I would look forward to the event with joyful anticipation--provided I can convince myself that what I had experienced was indeed the continuation of existence after the death of the body.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

I have spoken only to my wife, and that was received with polite interest. I feel reluctant to talk to others about this matter. I can imagine the reactions from some of the people that I know--you were dreaming--polite disbelief--concern from my sons that age is catching up with me and that I may need watching from now on.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Overwhelming deprivation and loss--but hope for the future beyond the death of my body

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best---color--serenity--blissful happiness--cleanliness,  The worst--'waking' up

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        Yes, I would like to add what is no doubt a red herring.

For many years, up to the present day, I have had experiences on average 10 to 30 time each year. Experiences is the wrong word, I should have said, sensations. Each occurrence lasts no more than 3 seconds as far as I can tell. I feel a familiarity, or a memory of something in the distant past, but I know that it is not something connected with my own life's experience. These sensations are always pleasant and reassuring, but I can never get a grip on them as far as content is concerned, they are too brief in duration

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes

Please read answer 26--I should have put that answer here I think.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes, I have to allow for aging memory loss, but as far as I am aware everything is accurate and complete.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No, there is nothing that I can suggest.