Deb T's Experience


Experience description:   

The first few times it happened, I was in college and working two jobs.  I often took naps in the afternoon because my schedule was pretty screwy.  I was taking a nap one summer afternoon, laying on my stomach, when I became conscious that I was floating about a foot above my body.  I was aware that my body was still on the bed, though I couldn't see it.

This happened about 4 times over the course of about 2 weeks.  Each time I felt myself to be conscious while knowing that I was "actually" asleep on the bed below me.  Each time it lasted for what seemed like about 30 seconds.  As soon as I realized "where" I was, I had a talk with myself about the impossibility of it and then acknowledged that it was true nonetheless.  When I got to this point I freaked out and snapped back into my body.  I would then experience paralysis and the inability to call out for my boyfriend (now husband, soon to be ex-husband).  It would take great effort to come to full waking consciousness.

Within a few days of these first 4 experiences, I had one that scared the shit out of me.  I was again napping, on my stomach, and felt something grab me by the ankles.  It was not like hands on my skin, there was no sense of flesh touching flesh, but rather the energy was concentrated on my ankles.  This thing YANKED me off the end of the bed.  At that time we had the box springs and mattress on the floor, no bed frame.  As I was pulled off the bed I felt the blankets bunch up under my body, my t-shirt roll up as I moved.  There was a wall about 4 feet away from the end of the bed and I felt myself thrown against this wall and ended up crumpled in a pile on the floor.  I felt huge fear and a very palpable PRESENCE.  This was a malevolent being who was showing me its dominance and even anger.  I struggled to return to my body and wake up.

In the years since then I have had several more conscious experiences of leaving my body during sleep.  None have been so frightening as that one.  I usually find myself awakened within sleep, and kind of slip out of my body.  They have continued to freak me out, but have not had the feeling of an outside presence.  In the last couple of years, my husband and I have talked about their import and he suggested that perhaps it is an awakening to the astral and "I" leaving the physical and etheric bodies, as it does each night (see Rudolf Steiner's voluminous works for the definitions of these "bodies").  This suggestion made sense to me and I felt that perhaps the awareness of this nightly happening was frightening because of its supersensible aspect--this isn't something that one generally expects to be conscious of.  I decided that I would try to "go with it" the next time it happened.  I was successful in remembering that idea the next few times it happened and was able to allow myself to go further out...but still eventually freaked out and scurried to return to my body.

About two months ago I had another terrifying one.  My husband and I were in bed for the night.  I became aware that I was slipping out, and consciously chose to go with it.  This time I went up through the closet and into the attic.  I was a bit giddy, though not afraid, and decided to return to  my body.  I did and attempted to wake my husband.  I couldn't make any sound even though I felt myself to be yelling at him.  I decided to see what would happen if I let go again.  I again went up through the ceiling and into the attic, further this time.  Again I felt silly and giddy and wanted to return.  When I got back in my body I again screamed for my husband to wake up...he rolled over on top of me...but I knew he wasn't awake and couldn't have heard me.  He forced his knees between my thighs and pushed my legs open.  I looked into his was my husband but his hair stood on end, his eyebrows were bushy and he had a horrifying leer on his face.  He said "oh, so you want to get CLOSE to me, eh?"  I snapped back into my face-down body and began to scream in earnest until I was able to command my body and actually made enough sound to really wake him up.  I told him what had happened, he spooned me and we went back to sleep.

Last night I went to a gathering of folks who share spiritual experiences and told them about these occurrences.  I had only ever told my husband and my best friend.  It is just the sort of thing that I would be very skeptical about if it came out of someone else's mouth, so I've been hesitant to speak of it.  The first question I was asked after sharing my story was whether it had happened before I met my husband...uh, no.  He left our marriage about 2 weeks after the one just described, and I have learned a LOT of nasty stuff about him in these last 6 weeks.  He is also an alcoholic, and I have had the sense for many years that alcoholism is like a being that cohabitates with the man I married.  I don't want to sound like a typical woman-scorned, but I can't help thinking that he has something to do with these "demonic" experiences.

Anyway, the group suggested that when I am fearful I ask for the presence and protection of Christ (again, you would have to know a lot about anthroposophy and Rudolf Steiner's work to know just what I mean by Christ--not the man Jesus, but the spiritual being Christ).  They also suggested that when I feel the presence of another being that I should trust that that was in fact the case.  If it felt malevolent I should ask it what it wanted, tell it that it was not OF me, that I was one with Christ and tell it to go away.  This all came in very handy later last night when I went to sleep.  I was again pulled off the foot of the bed (even though I now have a footboard) and into the hallway outside the bedroom.  It didn't feel so much malevolent as prankster-like.  I asked it what it wanted with me; when I got no response I told it that it was not OF me and that it needed to go away.  I felt its grip relax and I was able to pull myself back to the bed because I had a hold of the sheets.  I returned to my body and woke up, feeling like I had begun an approach that will be useful in the future.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I am quite alert, able to remember conversations about the experiences and how to handle them.  I am aware that I am "actually" sleeping but know that my Self is outside my body.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Fear, excitement, awe.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No

Did you see a light?           No

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes, See above description.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes

I experimented in the sense that I took suggestions of people to go with it, call on Christ, address the being.  See above.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes

In the first scary experience I had tactile sensations of the bedclothes being bunched up under me as I was pulled off the bed.  In the experience last night I felt my grip on the sheets and pulled myself back to the bed with them.

No other memory of sense perception.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes

These last two times I was able to pass through the ceiling.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

See description above.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       It has raised questions about what exactly it is that I am experiencing.  The experience 2 months ago confirms, in retrospect, that my husband is not a nice guy.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

See above.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  I usually wake up in a bit of a panic, but upon reflection feel that the experiences are gifts.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The worst part is the fear and the sense that I may be vulnerable to beings that have malicious intent.  The best part is that I am awakening to supersensible truths.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Nope, its pretty good!