DeAnna P's Experience

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Experience description:   

         I had a dream where I was waking with this man with a beard in this kind of like garden. The man had the short kind of beard, very close to the face and his hair and beard were both very white. I knew this man in my dream as a sort of "advisor" or teacher. He was wearing the Roman style tog, but he was also wearing a kind of cloak.....again, very Roman. The garden had these "gazebo" kind of for shade? They were white and had Doric (?) found in the Roman or more likely Greek styled architecture (I spell horribly) There were pools...deep blue...and the sky was blue...very blue...all of the colors were VERY vivid...I was walking beside this man I do not know in "real" life, but obviously knew here. I too was dressed like he and I was very comfortable speaking with him. I no longer remember exactly what we were talking about, but the "gist" of our "meeting" was my inability to deal with anger.

I felt as if this man had been trying to give me a test, that I had apparently "failed". I was trying to make excuses, to ask for another chance. Then the "scene" changed and I was being attacked by these devils...the looked just like cherubs...fat baby faces...but they were red and they were laughing at me...taunting me with these pitch forks (yes....pitchforks.....) I began to get angry....physically getting red in the face and I started to beat these "devils" in anger...I was beating them into pulps and they were laughing at me. I failed the test again, knowing in my heart I had a LONG way to go to overcome this anger. I heard the man's voice say something to m in a soothing voice...and I got sucked into this whirlpool that had formed in one of the pools. The man's face was sad, but understanding. Then I woke up.

The significance of this dream is that I have always suffered poor "anger management". getting into fights as a child, being a "wild" teenager by being extremely stubborn and, well..angry. I still suffer problem with dealing with anger, though several "lessons" have been "thrown my way" that have allowed me to "mellow" a little.

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  the experience happened a LONG time ago, so the detail is hazy...

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I was severely abused as a child and was living with a druen step-father and a manic depressive mother...whew...kinda close to life-threatening....

 What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I believe I was lucid alert as one cn be in that kind of dream

Was the experience dream like in any way? WAS a dream...but I didn't feel like it as like any dream I would normally have

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  at first, frustration...lie I was trying to convince the man o something I knew in my heart to not be true....then LOTS of anger....LOTS of rage...then I was embarrassed, but understood this was my "lesson" to learn.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  no...though the "devils'" laughter seemed coming from within myself....(more than external. coming from the devils)

 Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Cannot recall how I got to the "garden" ..I left in a swirling, tunnel-like whirlpool

 Did you see a light?  No

 Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  I was walking with a man of medium build and height who had a short, white beard and was wearing a light colored toga with a darker colored "cloak" in the manner of Roman or Greek fashion during the height of those empires. I knew him in this dream but NOT in "real life". I cannot remember all that was said, just the feeling that I was being tested and failed though it was understood that was what as going to happen all along...and the being was gentle and understanding of my "fault"

 Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Uncertain

      Describe:  only special knowing that I would forever (at least in THIS life) be plagued by problems with controlling my temper and anger

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

 Did you become aware of future events?  Uncertain

      Describe:  only that I would not easily overcome my anger problem

 Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Uncertain

      Describe:  After I attacked the "devils", I was sucked back to being awake through a whirlpool that developed in one of the pools

 Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No

 Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No

 Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  Once in a while, I will actually attempt to look into an anger management class...and whether it be age or awareness....I will actually now apologize to people I blow up at and admit a problem with anger management (the first step, so they say)

 Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  I have only old a few people......but only in the context that it was a very vivid dream

 What emotions did you experience following your experience?  anger (at myself for failing...)

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  Only that I am beginning to believe that we all have some kind of lesson to learn here in this life. I am not too sure of "god" or even that I continue to exist after this life......but I know that ALL of us have some kind of gift that we can share and ALL of us have some kind of crutch to throw away. The trick is to first recognize this fact, admit it, try to overcome it and perhaps teach another to overcome a similar obstacle.....but then again, I could be wrong about the whole thing.....that's the beauty of life....we won't know the "truth" of it until the very end....I hope I DO see the light!

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  No

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No