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Danielle T's Experience

Experience description:   

So I closed my eyes and felt as if abandoning myself and entering darkness. Right after that abandoning feeling I felt as if I had opened my eyes in the dark and as if I was being launched into darkness, going straight ahead, it was extremely fast as if in a park ride but there was no wind on my face. It was fast and very smooth. I felt not hot or cold but perfectly comfortable and the pain was completely gone. I knew this was not a dream and looked around to see dark walls all around and above me like a narrow tunnel but absolutely not confining. I slowly started to notice tiny little pleasant blue lights covering the walls and giving a very subtle luminescence that was very calming. It felt very peaceful but, again, I knew it was not a dream, so I forced to open my “real” eyes and was back at the hospital room. I immediately felt cold, pain, exhaustion hitting me again and couldn’t help to close my eyes again and “Vooochhh” I was back in my pleasant ride, but, this time I saw a tiny bright light at the end, very far away. I was going straight to it, as fast as before…  

I was letting go and not thinking of anything else, just feeling peace and comfort when suddenly a shadow created by the pleasant blue lights showed me the face of a man and even though it was dark I could see his profile perfectly with a perfect nose, a bit protuberant chin, military haircut, strong neck and I knew, somehow that his eyes were light but  not blue or green. It wasn’t anyone I knew. I could not hear a sound but he seemed like he was screaming at me, mad, as if shouting “Open your eyes!”, “Don’t give up!”, “Come back!”.  Seeing the man’s face slow me down a bit. I felt the speed of the ride coming down and I briefly opened my eyes and saw the room/lights just to succumb to my weakness again. 

The speed started picking up again.  

Again, the blue lights formed another face in front of me, of my baby boy, 5 months old at the time, screaming and crying. I could only see it but there was no sound. I knew he was crying for me… That really slowed down the ride as it made me think of him and how much he needed me, how much I wanted to stay with him and help him grow happy and healthy. These thoughts were more like a strong desperate feeling than actual intelligent  thoughts… I literary had to struggle and force my body to open my real eyes and I it did right when a nurse came in. She touched my arm, asked if I was ok and checked the machines. I didn’t say anything of what have happened. She then told me that it was a miracle that I had survived. I think she knew something was wrong and that I was still in danger as they kept coming to check on me every 10 minutes. 

I made an effort to stay alert until I was finally allowed to eat in the morning, but somehow the experience gave me the peace and strength that I needed to get through the night. 

Some say it was delirium but I know what I saw and felt. I know how real it was as much as the hospital room was whenever I opened my eyes. It was as if being at 2 different places at the same time with the blink of my eyes. 

Important Note: 3 months later I met the man that I saw in my experience and we got married in July 2011.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  Severe Sepsis is a serious medical condition involving infection and generalized inflammation. The body’s normal response to an infection is to set off a limited chain reaction to fight the infection. In severe sepsis, this systemic immune response becomes overactive and can result in damage to vital body organs, leading to bleeding, organ failure and, in many cases, to death.

I was at ER from around 7Am until 7PM with blood pressure around 70/30 and less. The doctor had to inject a tube directly into my heart (no anesthesia because my blood pressure was dangerously low) to deliver the saline solution with 3 different antibiotics as fast as possible through my body. After 12 hours in ER with my blood being drained and tested every 5 minutes that nurses had to start pricking different areas on my hands, my blood pressure stabilized and they moved me to a room but, even then, the staff was making sure to check on me every few minutes and make sure I would not close my eyes, sleep, and drift away. In the room after a last team of nurses drawing more blood form different places at the same time I felt finally too weak to keep my eyes open and closed them, “for a moment”, I thought. I was exhausted and hurting all over my body. I was needing a moment of peace and maybe giving up on my fight…

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain     I can tell you what I saw and give you an idea of how I felt but thoughts and feelings were not physical in any way. I was controlling what I was doing or thinking. I was sensing all as it was. There was no need to comprehend or ask questions.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    A bit when I first understood where I was and noticed the blue lights and finally most alert after I saw my son's face.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   It was more like a clear sense of things instead of commanded thoughts from my brain.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I had no other vision before, I was just sinking in darkness.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   There was no sounds. Complete peace and silence as if in outer space.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   brief confusion (trying to understand where I was for a moment) then relief, calm, peace, safe and letting go.  Then I became alert and struggled to come back.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   I had opened my eyes in the dark and as if I was being launched into darkness, going straight ahead, it was extremely fast as if in a park ride but there was no wind on my face. It was fast and very smooth. I felt not hot or cold but perfectly comfortable and the pain was completely gone. I knew this was not a dream and looked around to see dark walls all around and above me like a narrow tunnel but absolutely not confining. I slowly started to notice tiny little pleasant blue lights covering the walls and giving a very subtle luminescence that was very calming.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   I noticed two types of lights:

1. tiny little pleasant blue lights covering the walls and giving a very subtle luminescence that was very calming.

2. Bright light very far away at the end of tunnel where I was being taken to. I did not reach it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I was letting go and not thinking of anything else, just feeling peace and comfort when suddenly a shadow created by the pleasant blue lights showed me the face of a man and even though it was dark I could see his profile perfectly with a perfect nose, a bit protuberant chin, military haircut, strong neck and I knew, somehow that his eyes were light but  not blue or green. It wasn’t anyone I knew. I could not hear a sound but he seemed like he was screaming at me, mad, as if shouting “Open your eyes!”, “Don’t give up!”, “Come back!”.  Seeing the man’s face slow me down a bit. I felt the speed of the ride coming down and I briefly opened my eyes and saw the room/lights just to succumb to my weakness again. 

The speed started picking up again.  

Again, the blue lights formed another face in front of me, of my baby boy, 5 months old at the time, screaming and crying. I could only see it but there was no sound. I knew he was crying for me… That really slowed down the ride as it made me think of him and how much he needed me, how much I wanted to stay with him and help him grow happy and healthy. These thoughts were more like a strong desperate feeling than actual intelligent  thoughts… I literary had to struggle and force my body to open my real eyes and I it did right when a nurse came in. She touched my arm, asked if I was ok and checked the machines. I didn’t say anything of what have happened. She then told me that it was a miracle that I had survived. I think she knew something was wrong and that I was still in danger as they kept coming to check on me every 10 minutes.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   I saw the shadow of my future husband's face screaming at me to wake up, not give up (but there was no sound, although I knew what he was saying and feeling). At the time I did not know him. We met 3 months later. Also In the vision it was dark but somehow I knew his eyes were light, not than blue or green. My husband's eyes are hazel.

I also saw the shadow of my baby's face screaming and crying for me ( I could feel it but not hear it).

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
Well, it certainly wasn't the world I know, but I didn't see any mystical creatures or scenes.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
It was all right and perfect.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life
I was letting go and not thinking of anything else, just feeling peace and comfort when suddenly a shadow created by the pleasant blue lights showed me the face of a man and even though it was dark I could see his profile perfectly with a perfect nose, a bit protuberant chin, military haircut, strong neck and I knew, somehow that his eyes were light but  not blue or green. It wasn’t anyone I knew. I could not hear a sound but he seemed like he was screaming at me, mad, as if shouting “Open your eyes!”, “Don’t give up!”, “Come back!”.  Seeing the man’s face slow me down a bit. I felt the speed of the ride coming down and I briefly opened my eyes and saw the room/lights just to succumb to my weakness again. 

The speed started picking up again.  

Again, the blue lights formed another face in front of me, of my baby boy, 5 months old at the time, screaming and crying. I could only see it but there was no sound. I knew he was crying for me… That really slowed down the ride as it made me think of him and how much he needed me, how much I wanted to stay with him and help him grow happy and healthy. These thoughts were more like a strong desperate feeling than actual intelligent  thoughts… I literary had to struggle and force my body to open my real eyes

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Scenes from my personal future 
I saw the face of a man I had not met at the time. A man that came to be the love of my life, my husband.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   The tunnel was taking me somewhere and that wasn't my body, it was my essence or my soul existing without my body. It was leaving it behind completely to a different type of existence. It was clear and certain as the air I breath right now. I also sensed the intelligence of this existence because of allowing me the signs I needed to come back to physical life. That's all proof for me.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No   I believed in God and I sensed the infinite as a whole during the vision but I saw nothing that I could say it's proof.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No   NO specific proof, just the sense of the infinite as a whole. Belonging.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   The incredible love I sensed for my son brought me back.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Being there for my family in any way they need. May be a small purpose for most but is tremendously important to me and my family.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   There was the tunnel and the bright light at the end, that I had heard of, and then the calming little blue lights, the "vochhh" smooth speedy ride with no wind, no cold, no hot that was unexpected. Kind of like that movie Contact with Jodie Foster... And then seeing the faces of the man that I would meet later in life and get married to, plus my son's face was very amazing and unheard of.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I certainly don't think about it all the time, but when I do I still remember it very vividly and when people say I was just delirious, I just shake my head and smile because I know something they don't.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I searched for a deeper religious understanding and it also got me to understand that, no matter how small is our purpose in life, we all belong to a greater existence, energy, life, whatever you call it.

My experience directly resulted in:   Slight changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   It amazes me that I was shown my future husband before I met him.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
It amazes me that I was shown my future husband before I met him.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I shared with my ex-husband and my best friend a few weeks later and they believed in it. They were touched.

I shared with a scientist friend a couple of months later and he is an Atheist. He was certain I was delirious.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   Movies, mostly.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I was very conscious of it from the moment I came back.The differences of felling absolutely no pain, cold, or hearing any noises from the hospital around me was very real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I still remember what I sensed and felt.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   More certain, more acceptance, more serenity and less questioning.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   Some where actually repetitive but it was good to help remember maybe something I had missed at first to say.
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        Honestly, I don't know. It's comforting to see it's taken seriously and there are so many people out there that have seen an afterlife.