Experience description:

It's 2013, I was a very devout Christian but also a very skeptical person.  There was so much evidence both supporting the existence and non-existence of God which brought me to insanity because I didn't know what side to pick.  It's slowly brought me into an existential depression when one night I just cracked and fell into a crazy state of anger and stress,  being mad at God for creating such a flawed system for his people to follow.  I got on my bed, sat down, grabbed my cross, and yelled, 'JESUS I NEED YOU'.  At that very moment is when things got weird.  For split seconds at a time I felt a complete sense of emptiness or like a separation from any source of positivity or love completely.  Although they only lasted split seconds I never want to return to that place ever again, if Hell exists, that's Hell no doubt about it.  After the split seconds of fear and Hell, I prayed even harder, gripping my cross as if I'm holding on for dear life when suddenly I felt a strange feeling slowly rise up from within me.  It started out subtle, but the second it started I felt a complete release of all stress and anger instantly.  As this feeling slowly rose up from within me, before I know it I'm wrapped in this unconditional sense of love and warmth.  It was just.....sublime....like I wish I could stay there forever.  if Heaven exists, that's Heaven, for sure.  This sensation lasted for about 10 seconds then slowly faded away, to which I jumped up and just started asking questions out loud.  'What just happened?!?', 'What should I do?!?', 'Was that God?   Jesus?  Angel?  Spirit guide???'  Over the long run this experience definitely made me believe in a higher 'something' and this 'something' is a loving 'something'.  Over the last few years I have studied multiply philosophies/religions and have taken much inspiration and wisdom from them all.  I love too many beliefs to stand beside just one so I choose to currently just call myself, spiritual.   Now take note I can swear to you on my life that I was not sleeping.  I was standing up, frustrated, and jumped on my bed with anger, the experience happened about half a minute after I jumped into bed, there's no way I could've fallen asleep, and I was sitting up as well, not laying down.  I mean whether or not you believe me is up to you, I have nothing to gain for lying since this site doesn't disclose personal information, I just want to share my beautiful experience.  Over the years I have had similar experiences where I have felt temporary euphoria and incredible bliss.  During there's times I just had a huge love for everyone/everything around me.  Right now, I'm fascinated by NDEs and SOBEs and constantly find myself reading stuff about them.  Sorry for the long post I know I tend to ramble on about things.  Lots of love :)

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No           

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     The only word I can think of that is even close to what I felt was 'love'. It's so hard to tell the experience to my friends/family without sounding cliche or like something out of a Disney film.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Well, my health physically was fine, but my depression was at it's peak.  I felt I was getting to the point of insanity when I felt I was making the last prayer of my life when WHA-BAM, it happened.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Super-consciousness.  Felt more alive than ever.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No way, I am 100% positive I was not sleeping or even tired.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No      

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Bliss, love, warmth, hug from the universe.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No      

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?     No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes            Afterwards, shortly, I felt like I had 'super senses'.  All food tasted good, my music sounded even better, and my bed felt better that night than any other night.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No       Well, looking back at the experience, it's hard to remember how long I felt this sense of universal

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes            Just that there truly is nothing to ever worry about in life.  Trust God/the universe and just pray for guidance and peace.  Love is more than a clich� term, it's tangible and a powerful tool.  I felt it full force and boy, it's divine.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No       Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I will never call myself an atheist or agnostic.  The least I will say I am is just spiritual.  I have studied many religions/philosophies and love them all to pick one to follow so at the end of the day I am my own religion I guess.  I believe in an afterlife after talking with many people for spiritual advice and reading/viewing hundreds of NDE accounts all over the internet/literature.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I find myself as a much more compassionate person.  I'm grateful that I had my depression because if I never did I wouldn't be where I am now.  I always try to choose to treat others as I want to be treated which is with respect and kindness.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     Tremendously (for the better).  I am depression and stress free and take everything as it comes and goes.  Our lives are perfect the way they are it's just hard to accept that since so many people go through pain in their life's.  Use negativity to your advantage.  If you lost a job, tell yourself at least someone else is going to have a great day because they just got a new job replacing you.  Struggles in our life's are really what mature us more than anything else.  Never lose, but learn.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Only about four friends.  Two of them thought I was crazy and the other two thought it was amazing to hear.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Started out with fear, emptiness, complete apathy.