Danial Y's Experience
I was born to a Muslim family in Iran. I was around 17, and some time around these years I had some psychological disorders, particularly social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and maybe depression. I was becoming increasingly antisocial. Some time in those years I had a Kundalini Awakening, and of course an NDE. It may look strange, but I don't remember much when, in which periods, and in what order exactly all of these occurred. I had many hardships in those years (real life challenges combined with serious problems in social interaction). I was spending most of my day working with my PC, and I was so antisocial that I would rarely even speak to anyone except my mother. I was also still autistic (Asperger's) those years. I became quite 'normal' three or more years after the NDE as circumstances and my lifestyle changed.
Firstly, I want to note that the experience occurred on Nowruz -- the 'New Year's Day' in Persian calendar, which is the most important day of the year in my culture and features social rituals, which could be very stressful and like a torture for a person like me. However, I don't remember having any stress or disturbance that morning or the night before.
I held the belief that most of our dreams are the direct result of what happened and what we were thinking about throughout the day. Therefore, initially, although it took my attention, I did not consider any part of the experience as a special experience. Particularly, I remember thinking about a Quranic verse sometime near the day of the experience: God takes souls when they are asleep, and turn back those which are not their time. (I don't remember the verse exactly), so I initially attributed almost everything to confabulation and other activities by my brain.
As a Muslim, I must perform Islamic prayer ('namaz', a.k.a. 'salat') three times each day. I often missed them, but I used to perform the last one (the one which should be performed at night) every now and then. One night I was in bed, and noted that, again, I have not performed prayer at night (beside the other ones). This time, I made a serious decision, that from now on, unless all of my Todo's and concerns in the material world throughout the day are resolved (which almost never happens for any person), I should not care about missing any of my prayers and should not be disturbed. This decision looks strange to me right now, because I have always been very spiritual in general. One or two or more nights after this (I don't remember exactly), again I missed prayer (I noticed this during my NDE), and an NDE occurred in the morning: I had an irrelevant and nonsense dream which I don't remember now (but I know there was one), after that (as a continuation of that dream, as I initially perceived) I found myself in a black inky void, a black space. There was a cube-like thing, the edges where about 1.5 or 2 meters., the 'cube' was actually consisted of a lot of green-colored 'writings', only on four faces of it, they were similar to the matrix writings, and I knew they were random secret 'Truths' or 'Advises' which are specifically useful for me and my future in world. I immediately found myself inside the cube. I was also aware that I don't have much time, only several seconds, and I was in a rush to 'read' as much as the 'writings' as I can. Actually I wouldn't read them, and they were not exactly writings. I would just look and focus at them and the meaning would be communicated to my mind. I managed to 'read' two of them. Initially I thought they are nonsense, and it is an irrelevant dream. One of those Truths or Advises was that I should no longer relate/connect to a particular distant relative. Actually I would rarely even see her. Around ten months later, I heard that his husband, who is my relative, has separated from her several months ago, and therefore she is no longer a relative to me. She went to his own home town, and I haven't seen her since then. The second Advise was that I should not relate to Sunni Muslims (I was a Shia Muslim, like most people around me). I still don't know how this makes sense. I have no Sunni relative or friend.
After that 'inner' dream, I 'woke up' to another, 'outer' dream, as I perceived formerly (while later I understood it was an NDE). I saw myself in my room, I was out of my body, and was slowly going up. On the right side of my bed is my PC, I saw my little brother working with the PC. Although we couldn't see each other, I was aware that my mother was in the living room and I think I saw here from rood view briefly. I noticed she said something, probably to me little brother (actually, I was not hearing anything). As I was going up, my little brother looked at me and 'said' that, 'hey, you're going up!' while laughing/smiling. I noticed my body below, and it was impressing to me that I was completely indifferent toward it, I was feeling that it no longer belongs to me, and I was no longer concerned about my body and the earthly world. I was very peaceful. Then I noticed a white light above near the roof, it was not irritating my sight, and I knew it is God and I'm going to go upper and embraced by the light, i.e. the God. I had a pleasant feeling then. After that, I almost stopped going up more, and a voice, which I don't know if it was my own voice or voice of a third being, said, 'But you didn't performed prayer last night.' I regretted that I didn't performed prayer last night, because it was a shame that the night before going to God, I had not performed prayer appropriately or connected to God. Then, unwillingly, I was sending back downward slowly. After being back in my body, I found myself going out of bed, I was going to kitchen, I saw my mother in the living room who was looking at me, I went to kitchen to perform wudu, preparing to perform Islamic prayer in the afternoon (which I wouldn't perform usually). As I was in the kitchen, I saw my father entering the house. After this, I eventually woke up in reality, I saw my little brother is working with the PC, as I have just witnessed in the dream. It was a rare occurrence (the last time he worked with the PC was several years before this). Moreover, I have always been the first person to wake up in our house those months. However, it did not impress me back then, as I thought my mind have confabulated this by hearing the sound of key strokes or mouse. My mother was also in the living room, again it did not impress me as my mind could confabulate it through the sounds my mother was making. Two or three hours after I woke up, just before the midday, I saw my father entering the house. This one was a unique occurrence: my father was always either coming in the afternoon in working days, or sleeping until midday in holidays. In fact, that day was a holiday, but it was Nowruz, and my father woke up early and went out to buy some more stuff for that day.
As I woke up in reality, I had a deep, vague feeling of regret for a minute or two, as if I was not happy that I'm back in my body. It seemed to me that what I saw was not illusion, actually what I'm seeing in reality is more illusionary than my experience.
I have had a Kundalini Awakening, but I don't know if it was before or after the NDE. So some of my post-NDE traits may be because of my Jundalini. I remember experiencing especially heightened states of awareness several times. I remember one time was the morning after a lot of deep prayer at night, another one after seeing and focusing on a photo, which was apparently a depiction of heaven. I was feeling love with my pets (a goldfish, who knew me very well, and later a turtle) and I was feeling a very pleasant oneness with trees. I started noticing and appreciating the unconditional love of mothers toward their children whenever I would saw one, as if this was the first time that I encounter this behavior! I didn't know why., I didn't know about NDE and Kundalini. After reading about NDE and NDErs, I noticed that what I saw were not simply dreams, but an NDE. Several years later, I was socialized due to changes in my circumstances and my lifestyle, and was improved psychologically. Reading about Self-improvement helped a lot. My unpleasant Kundalini Awakening symptoms have also been disappeared. Currently, I consider myself very happy and successful, and have a very positive attitude toward life and have big dreams about my future and can imagine a very positive future for my life. All of these massive changes in my life which is somewhat hard to believe may be a result of various other parameters, but NDE may be also involved as well, maybe by facilitating, or even initiating. After reading NDEs and comparing with my own NDE, I'm no longer worried about what happens after death, I'm much less fearful in general and I'm more confident.
Although my NDE specifically points to performing Islamic prayer, I was never performing prayer regularly, but my NDE occurred when it was the first time in my life that I genuinely valued material life and endless Todo's over connecting with God. Now, I hold the belief that what actually matters is that we should understand that the material world is illusionary relative to spirituality.
By the way, in my culture, on the day of Nowruz, we recite a prayer ('ya muqallib al-qulub') which I later (after reading about the NDE phenomenon and the fact that it transforms NDErs) noted that how different and unique it is, relative to any other prayer in our faith, because it is literally about asking god for transformation. The prayer translates to: '(...) O you (God), transformer of hearts and spiritual states! Transform our state into the best state. [hawwil halana ila ahsan il-hal]'
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? No
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain I think it is easy to understand for other NDErs, but non-NDErs may not fully grasp what I say
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was out of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I had a heightened level of consciousness because I was thinking very fast, while I was completely aware of my surroundings, I was even almost aware of and was 'witnessing' what was going on in the living room, which I couldn't normally see
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could 'see' what was going on for example in the living room while I was in my own room. I could almost see 360 degrees, as I could see my body the moment I desired. But the vision was less vivid than usual
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was not 'hearing', rather the meaning of what was being said was directly communicated to my mind.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Yes I'm personally not sure yet that this is due to confabulation or if this is actually vision of future. However, what I witnessed in reality was not exactly the same, but it was roughly similar to what I saw in my 'dream'.
I was out of my body, and was slowly going up. On the right side of my bed is my PC, I saw my little brother working with the PC. Although we couldn't see each other, I was aware that my mother was in the living room and said something, probably to me little brother (actually, I was not hearing anything). As I was going up, my little brother looked at me and 'said' that, 'hey, you're going up!' while laughing/smiling. Then I noticed my body below, and what was impressing me was that I was completely detached from it, I was feeling that it no longer belongs to me, and I was not concerned about it. I was very peaceful. Then I noticed a white light, it was like a cloud because it was not irritating my sight, and I perceived it as God. I had a pleasant feeling then. After that, I almost stopped going up more, and voice, which I don't know was my own voice or voice of a third entity, said, 'But you didn't performed prayer last night.' I regretted that I didn't performed prayer (and even thinking about God) last night, because it was a shame that the night before going to God, I had not performed appropriate prayer. Then, unwillingly, I was going down slowly. I didn't want to go back. Immediately I found myself waking up (in reality, I was 'dreaming' that I am waking up), and went out of my room, I was going to kitchen, I saw my mother in the living room, I went to kitchen to perform wudu, preparing to perform Islamic prayer in the afternoon (which I wouldn't perform regularly). As I was in the kitchen, I saw my father entering the house. After this, I woke up in reality, I saw my little brother is working with the PC, as I have just witnessed in the dream. It was a rare occurrence (the last time he worked with the PC was several years before this). Moreover, I have always been the first person to be woke up in our house those days. However, it did not impress me back then, as I thought my mind have confabulated this by hearing the sound of key strikes. My mother was also in the living room, again it did not impress me as my mind could confabulate it through the sounds my mother was making. Two or three hours after I woke up, just before the midday, I saw my father entering the house. This one was a unique occurrence: my father was always either coming in the afternoon in working days, or sleeping until midday in holidays. In fact, that day was a holiday, but it was Nowruz, and my father woke up early and went out to buy some more stuff for that day.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? peace, calmness, being unconcerned about my body and the world; unwillingness as I was returning to my body; A deep, vague feeling of regret as I woke up in reality
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes As I was experiencing OBE, I saw a bright white light above my head (above the bed) which was not irritating my eyes and I was approaching toward it, I perceived it as God. However I was sent back before being embraced by the light
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
I considered the light as the God. I heard a voice as I stopped going up toward it further, I don't know whether it was my own voice, or voice of a third being (other than me and the light/God) which said: 'But you didn't perform prayer last night'. I was considering it a shame that at least in the night before going to God, I have not prayed properly, so it looked like to me that it's better not to go this time, although I was very unwilling to return
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? Yes I only noticed that I have not performed prayer at night just before the experience (which occurred in the morning)
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I did not understand everything; however, before the OBE and seeing the light, I saw myself in a black void space and then inside a cube in that space, and the cube was consisted of 'writings' similar to the matrix writings (on four faces of it only), which were 'Truths' or 'Advises' specifically for me. There was not much time, but I managed to read two of them, which I have described in my NDE story
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
I was automatically stopped going up further toward the light/God when I heard the voice which reminded me that I have not performed prayer last night
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future
During the NDE, I saw my little brother working with the PC in my room, a rare occurrence. After I returned to my body, I was still asleep. I was dreaming that I woke up, I went to kitchen and saw my mother in the living room, close t me, who was looking at me. Then I saw my father coming to house. After I woke up, my brother was where he was, my mother had also already woke up, and around two or three hours later, which was just before the midday, my father entered the house, which was a unique occurrence.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes I knew that I'm going to be embraced by the light, i.e. the God, as consistent with my beliefs
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Yes I perceived the light as the God himself, and that I am going to be embraced by this light (i.e. by God) soon
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? Uncertain
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? No
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Uncertain I was feeling what I 'read' inside that cube was special knowledge which nobody else knows, because they were about the future
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was consistent because I believed in God and spirituality. It was inconsistent because one or more nights before the experience I decided and maintained that I should not be concerned about connecting with God unless I have fixed everything throughout the day and have done all of my Todo's in the day, and thought God is also OK with this. However, as I saw myself going to God, I regret that, at least at the night before going to God, I have not performed prayer and connected to God. I liked to connect with God very well just before leaving this life and going to him
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember it much more accurately
My experience directly resulted in: Unknown
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Uncertain Several years after the experience, as I considered what I saw as not a simple dream due to confabulation, but an NDE, and after reading others' NDEs, I changed my values. In fact, I developed my own Creed, a short text I read almost everyday to remind myself that this world, although it look real, is illusionary relative to our Spirit and Consciousness.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No I have had Kundalini Awakening those times, either before or after the NDE.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being indifferent toward my body after the OBE; Seeing visions of current and possibly future of what happened in our house
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain Initially I wasn't aware the NDE phenomenon and considered it a dream, but a very strange one, which I need to ask others about it. I shared the OBE part and seeing light dreaming about waking up as a dream to a religious dream interpreter, whose reaction was very positive. Several years later, when I already knew it was an NDE, I shared it with my mother, also an NDEer since she was a kid, whose reaction was very positive.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was probably not real Although it impressed me, I considered it as a simple dream and confabulation by my brain. I thought have had two dreams, I 'woke up' from the 'inner' dream, and the 'outer' dream, which looked like almost something between dreaming and being awake, was consisted of the OBE, seeing light, returning to my body, and 'waking up' and going to kitchen. Then, I woke up in reality.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real Since this is an actual phenomenon with common features reported by people throughout the world, I no longer consider the OBE part and going toward the light as a confabulation of thinking about that particular Quranic verse which talks about God receiving spirits and sending back the ones that are not their time, particularly when we are asleep. I think it was not a dream. Yet it was not being awake. And it was not illusion because I was actually quite aware and what I saw actually had some deep meanings.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I do not consider any religion as particularly more valid. Yet, I don't see any problem in following a religion. What matters is that we should be aware that it is spirituality that matters the most; the rest disappears sooner or later.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Not the experience itself, but I'd like to share something. First, please consider that I also had a Kundalini Awakening before or after the NDE., so it may be related to my Kundalini. Those times I have had states of heightened consciousness, for example, the morning after a lot of deep prayer in a an important religious night. I felt one of my most heightened states of awareness, very pleasant state, after seeing a small image as cover of a small book. It was a beautiful garden, actually like a forest, with a river in the middle, and at the top of the small 'waterfall', there was a beautiful woman sitting, and in fact, the river was 'extension' of her dress, and, in my eyes, there was a peaceful 'oneness' between her and all of the living beings in that garden. All of these crossed my mind within a second at the first sight, and I immediately experienced very pleasant heightened state of awareness as I was staring on the Persian carpet under my foot.
Several years later, when I noticed that I have had
NDE and Kundalini Awakening and read about Eben Alexander description of his
NDE, his description of heaven and the oneness among the things in heavens
reminded me of this photo and the experience. He even mention 'Persian carpet'
in his book, and give the patterns on it as an example of what he mean by
'oneness', which I later noticed how right he is. Indeed, the patterns under my
foot was a depiction of a heavenly oneness.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain I think it is important to also consider the context in which my NDE occurred
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you? I think this phenomenon deserve much more researches, I like to read about objective researches on OBEs, NDEs and NDErs. As far as I know, there are people who regularly have OBEs, and I think we should fund researches like the AWARE Study
also believe there's an unclear relation between Kundalini Awakening and NDEs,
which should be taken into account. It is unfortunate that there is not much
research on Kundalini
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think it should be asked if 'you have another OBE/NDE/STE' etc. I have had also another NDE, but I want to check its facts before submitting.
Maybe collecting data about occurrence of NDEs in family members or relatives is also useful. For example, my mother is also an NDEr.
Moreover, I did not receive any more non-ordinary gift AFTER the NDE. However, I have a non-ordinary gift since I was a teenager. Maybe NDEs OBEs etc. occur more for 'non-ordinary' people, or people who believe they are 'non-ordinary', I think such data should be collected.
Moreover, I have had strange
I noted that the questions about before/after NDE are not very accurate: 'At the present' is different from 'After the experience' (which may be more important). My 'At the present' is influenced by reading many NDEs and STEs