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Cruise T's Experience

Experience description:   

Having researched all I can about related experiences with none coming near to mine leaves me even more lonely and disappointed. I am considered a positive, impulsive and spontaneous person and am even more so after the experience. So I will begin.

I was sitting outside at a big party on my 2nd beer having a cigarette watching the smoke slowly leave my mouth when I left my body through the back of my head seeing myself and the people surrounding, time slowed as I increased distance above from myself in feet. As I went high enough to see the roof and houses around time itself was either paused or super slow, I increased with speed and distance and was now over 100 meters above from my body. I looked to my right to the Mount Maunganui and saw 3 birds in the distance above the Mount, as I went to look back to the party and my body (all with a calmness, no stress or fear from the moment of leaving my body) the speed increased directly upward. I saw the city and country and earth grow smaller with speed to when I saw the solar system and galaxies start to flash away from me. The speed then increased to where I was shooting past galaxies at speed, all I saw was light blue streaks of light as I traveled through space with a sense of timelessness or infinity.

Suddenly I stopped with an over view of the universe flat surrounded by nothingness, feeling stretched out as if I was connected to all of it including the nothingness the universe is emerged in. I felt a connection with it all in a sense where I had been here from the beginning of time and space to the end of the universe and further all with this timelessness. I felt acceptance for all things and the nothingness with love and warmth a homely feeling I can still imagine. As I felt the acceptance and homely feeling within an instant I was travelling at light speed back to where I came from with light blues streaks again then slowed and was the galaxies and our solar system again then our planet eventually New Zealand and shoot straight back towards the area of the country then the Mount and party, bang I fell back into my body. Still looking at the smoke leave I felt like I had been gone for eternity but the smoke had not moved as if it were a second at max.

I looked at a friend at least 8 meters away as a tear welled up she looks at me with a sense of worry though she couldn't hear me, with a hollow empty voice I quietly said 'sis help' and she came storming out asking me 'What! What is it' as if she instinctively knew something seriously scary has happened. I felt like a empty vessel and like I was just born but with all memory of my life and all lives human non human on this planet and all of the universe as well as the experience of leaving my body. My mind raced like never before it would not stop trying to grasp what I had just experienced, with a sense of knowing to just accept and let it go the mind couldn't that easily. I remember feeling and thinking as if from a third person perspective that I need to calm that mind to slow the heart rate to save this vessel (body), as I had complete certainty of it just may not survive as mind would lose its self and my heart would just stop therefore I would have died and left this body for good. I told her 'I need to slow my brain to slow my heart because it might not last long like this' ( I felt my heart beating unbelievably fast).

She started crying demanding I explained what is going on, though that's all I could say other than 'dance with me please and stay calm for me' I  danced with her in the driveway for an hour asking her to stop asking me what happened as she wasn't helping the situation. With tears still dripping down my face I dancing away like a ballerina looking up making motions of trying to grasp the stars I could see light trails coming from my fingers. She leaves me there dancing thinking I just took a bad trip though hadn't finished my second beer and was not on any drug, I continued to dance for at least 3 hours trying to calm the mind. I had soon stopped dancing and was so exhausted I tried to sleep in the car away from everyone still trying to calm the mind, with no success I still continued for another 10 hours.

Eventually when everyone fell asleep and woke up just after 10am, I heard them cooking breakfast and offered me some, I said 'no thanks' and they left me knowing something strange is going on. They came out ready for a swim (I could not focus on a thing without my mind still attempting the understand and grasp what I have experience) and said 'we are going to the beach Cruise, are you Ok?' Instantly for a second I felt a focus and though and said 'Beach. Water' and we went to the beach I swam for over 2 hours finally my mind settled, I could control my thoughts though the need to think about the experience was still so strong. I could analyze it and break it down. I am still in love with the ocean and have uncontrolled access to things for example I can sense and understand the law of attraction with all people and almost things without thinking it's like it's just a easy to see as glass, words will never justify. I am now left with no fear and an extremely positive energy that the blind can see (sensing), I still yearn for the homely feeling I experienced and feel no one will ever come near to understanding me completely or the experience if I described it with an infinite set of words.

I feel very alone so I spread my self thin throughout all people and things with positivity, hope and love to the point where it exhausts me so much a need to swim every morning and sleep for a couple days every 4 to 5 weeks. I have realized all I can do is share this experience to those who can take good from it and express happiness, love and positive energy. I hope to hear feed back that could help me help us all.

Thanks much love. Cruise.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?   No           

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?           Yes     The understanding, acceptance and connection with all time and space with an utmost loving calmness.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?        No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?          Complete

Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain     

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           Love, Tranquility, Peace, Acceptance.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?          No

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    Yes     What humans would imagine as heaven or one with god.

Did you see a light?          Yes     The stars as I traveled and the universe once I met my location.

Did you meet or see any other beings?          No      

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?            Yes    

I connected with all life forms in the universe from the beginning of time till the end of time.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?    Uncertain      So much has happened its a daily occurrence I've grown to accept and actually find humor in events I've felt happen. To save my mentality and thoughts process and give positive energy to the environment.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?            Uncertain      Hard to describe but they didn't really matter anymore during the experience.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes     As said, it was timeless and infinity. Though the body had not had a second difference.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   Yes            A connection with all things within the universe and further almost makes me feel accountable for universal life.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?            Yes     The center or peak where I could see the universe and further from the beginning of time and space to the end.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes     It happens almost on a daily basis to the point where it's nearly normal for me now but just very tiring to just know and see it.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?     No      

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes     A sensitive and instinctive awareness of things and in people.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes            Happiness, Love, Certainty, Positivity, Energy.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am a free spirited person as always but now with no one or nothing able to stop me as I am super witty and can pick the truth out of anything. I spread my positive energy where I like and 99.9% of people and animals are attracted to me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       Yes    

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I let those know who I feel can take good from it. Most I know are shocked and are only a small amount confused with what to think or say about the subject compared to how I felt and still feel.

What emotions did you experience following your experience? Honestly I felt all emotions until I went for a swim and now I can see emotion in people with no trouble.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The point where I connected with the universe time and space from the beginning to the end. The worst thing about this is that I feel I am now more alone and still can't find any sort of support.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       I've never written about this on any forum. I have explained to shrinks, philosophers and astrologists that have no valid explanation to help.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes     Tired of thinking and writing about this now, it has drained me.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.   Less questions. Ha-ha. No they are all quite thorough. Thanks.