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Cornelia D's Experience

Experience description:    It was a dream. I entered the Church I normally attend, was led to my usual seat. The Mass began in its normal fashion, but all of a sudden -- I saw on the Altar -- there stood Jesus shining brightly with outstretched arms. I was in shock! I and everybody else started screaming. We all jumped up! But in this state of shock or terror a great feeling of love took complete hold of my heart and wouldn't let go. As if in a dream I knelt down. "Don't be afraid, I am with you," came the message. I was no longer afraid. Love held me and filled my being. I looked towards the front of the church one more time, and He was gone. Around me was chaos, everybody was running out of the church.

A few days later I dreamt of a burning bush into which I flew and disintegrated. During this time I felt that all my questions, including the ones I didn't even knew I had, all the uncertainties and doubt, were answered. I was simply - happy...

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's difficult to describe the emotional experience

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain A week prior I had had a panic attack, I was afraid that I had become pregnant. I was really jittery and concerned, but a few days later I got my period.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It's hard to say, light, shock, love, all of these all intermingled, came at once and were very intense. Light, Love and "Don't be afraid."

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:  the intensity of it took over completely, Love filled me, solace, comfort but also the initial shock of it touched me profoundly

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes dazzling, radiating brilliance

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?  Uncertain What dominated mostly was all the chaos and screaming at that time

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Shock, Love in my heart, filled with the feeling of Love and Connectedness

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No

Did you see a light? Yes

Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes

Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes It was probably a different kind of Time. In hindsight everything seems to have happened all at the same moment, very quickly

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes Especially in the later dream, of the blazing bush (and this was no "normal dream")

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain After the experience I knew that I was going to have a son, and my first child turned out to be a boy

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes I know when to advise people about situations. As an example with my boyfriend, I can tell which color chess piece he's holding in his closed hand. I can "see" the color.

Have you shared this experience with others? Uncertain Sometimes I kid around with my daughter about the whole thing.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Moody, Life After Death It strengthened my belief in God, before the dreams I was always confused and uncertain

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was probably real I know that it was a dream. But the thing is, I changed because of it, even if it was a dream. Later on, after my father died, I had another dream that so convinced me that my father was still alive. He took my hand and I could have sworn that he was alive and real and it went so far that I thought he had been mistakenly buried, it was that intense. He lived, that was for sure. I am still convinced and am still in the dream

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Simply the overwhelming feeling of the fullness of Love and the "Don't be afraid" and the experience of the bush have taken away my previous constant doubt and confusion

How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real The experience left a lasting impression and changed me forever and made me fearless. In difficult moments I feel a "Presence." The phrase or the belief of "how can God let bad things happen" never bothers me anymore, I know that He accompanies us always in hard times, stands by us, never leaves us alone. This gives me comfort and confidence.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain  I never had a long-term relationship until I became more sure of myself.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes  I no longer doubt the existence of God, or his Love and his Truth. Though I did not become a more devoted church-goer.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No Just that dream with my father. I seldom drink alcohol and don't smoke. But now that I think of it, once when I was walking to school I felt a gold/green shining presence and suddenly I had all the answers to an upcoming chemistry test. When I really concentrate I can know a lot more than I normally would, and this always was a great help to me in school -- which is a good thing. Later on I studied Autogenic training but I have never been able to duplicate the intensity of the dreams

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I am grateful to have had these experiences because they always helped me later in life. Like when a seed has to burst through the thickest of dirt. I have a tendency to go into the "Void" into the "Unknown", and the courage to do so was given to me during the dream. Both my parents were sick psychologically (both had/have schizophrenic psychotic episodes, my mother lives in a group house), my sister had to go into therapy to get over her childhood experiences with the family, but is now stable, I luckily have been able to come through life without therapy and medications.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes You can't describe actually in words what this experience is like