Experience description:

            My ex-husband (who I was still very close to) died recently of lung cancer. Before he died, I asked him to 'send me a sign', send me something that would let me know what it was like on the other side. I've always been very interested in the process of dying since I was a child and another child told me he died, it was beautiful and he didn't fear death anymore. Anyway, as I started to go to sleep I prayed for a vision of what it's like to die from my ex, I asked him to show me. Next thing I know, I feel strange, the breath left me, I had no movement, no motion came from my body. I briefly thought 'well, this must be it' and I floated up about 3 feet from my body and looked down. I was white as a sheet and looked 'dead' in my mind, I was definitely not alive at that moment. The realization that I was dead spread over me, I thought about my kids and the fact that they just lost their dad and what a tragedy it would be to now lose their mother. I thought 'if my husband could just come in and punch me in the chest, I'll be ok' so I tried to yell for help. No words came out, I tried and tried to yell 'help!' but nothing...finally I felt that I was back in my body and I managed to get out a garbled plea for help and then finally the actual word. He ignored me because I've done this before, yelled for help in my sleep. I felt as if I died. Whether or not I did, we'll probably n ever know.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      I have no idea what happened.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I floated up and sort of turned over to look at my body laying in bed, I realized then something wasn't right.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

            When I floated up and sort of turned over to look at my body laying in bed, I realized then something wasn't right.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No       I was still in my bedroom, still looking at my body and thinking what the heck?

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Somewhat panic stricken.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No       Just the realization that my kids would be devastated.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     I knew my husband was in the living room watching TV

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Right after, but people think I'm crazy, I was dreaming. I know I wasn't dreaming.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     As a child there was a neighbor boy named Raymond that was slightly retarded, nobody wanted to play with him. I always let him play with us and scolded the other kids if they were mean to him. One day after one of the kids said something mean, he said 'I'm like this because I died' and of course I asked him what he meant, he said 'I have something in my brain, they did an operation and I died on the table, I saw the doctors, they said bad words and everyone was running around, I told them what they said when I was dead and then they believed me that I died and came back, there was a white light and everything was so beautiful. I'm not afraid to die anymore.' After that Raymond and I talked about this and I gained a new respect for people with any kind of disability, I was only about 10 or 11 at the time. Raymond had another operation and we never saw him again, I don't know what happened.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    My heart is always skipping and jumping around, my grandfather died at the age of 59 from a heart attack, my brother has SVT, my cholesterol is high...yada yada = I have a good chance of having a heart attack. To think that it stopped momentarily isn't a stretch.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    It was always real

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I am very spiritual now and want everyone else to join me. Not everyone is willing to become one w/ the thought of dying being a joyful experience however.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     I have miraculous medals, water from Lourdes, you name it, I'm stocking up on spiritual stuff to remind me of this experience and carry me thru the next time.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I am certain Stevie (my x) is there waiting and willing to help me if I ask.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes