Cristina M's Experience
I was neither in a life threatening situation nor was I ill. I was asleep and just had a dream.My dream: I was strolling along a Mediterranean marketplace. To my right and to my left there were a lot of dealers offering their goods, protected from the sun by their picturesque blinds. I still remember exotic fruits, vegetables, birds in wooden cages and colourful cloth. A lot of people attended this marketplace, especially women with big baskets and their children. There was a lot of noise caused by the loud voices of all these people and the shouting of the dealers offering their goods for sale. My attention was drawn to a dealer of apples to my right. I was forced to look that way by some mysterious invisible hand.
From the corner of my eye I saw a black wall approaching the marketplace. It was dark and sinister and it was like a huge and dark wave that reached high up into the sky. I immediately knew it was Doomsday but was not afraid. Then a terrible thunderstorm together with lightning of fire broke over us while I was still standing motionless as if I was under a glass cover facing the fruit dealer. Somehow he caught fire and his wide sleeves were ablaze. He yelled and fell knocked down by the storm and by his pain. Panic-stricken he kept struggling on his feet and yelled and was more and more ablaze. On the marketplace everything got mixed up and people shouted and children sobbed. I was standing there motionless like a spectator in the middle of chaos and Doomsday. The trader of apples fell down for the last time his whole body being ablaze and then everything went silent.
In a matter of seconds the storm and noise had ceased and I was standing in a thick gray fog. It was still as death. I tried hard to listen but there was nothing. I desperately tried to see something but there was not anything. It was as if I was in the void where there was nothing. I looked down at my feet but I couldn’t see them. I placed my hand before my eyes but I couldn’t see it either. I stood there motionless and waited for something to happen. Then all of a sudden the mist cleared at eye level and it was as if someone had cut out a big slice. But there was only a small opening. But slowly the fog cleared above and below and I could see a mountain in the distance behind which there was a bright light. I felt magically attracted by the mountain and by the light and wanted to get there by all means. When I set out I was thinking of all the debris of the market and the many dead people that might be lying under my feet amidst the fog. In no case I wanted to walk over them. I started off cautiously when the fog went as far as my breast.
To my surprise I didn’t step on any debris, there was nothing
there, no unevenness at all. I was literally hovering above the smooth
ground while the fog cleared.
When I approached the mountain and the fog cleared for a view of the
mountain top, I saw a man standing on top of it and I “recognized” him at
once. My thoughts formed his name - Jesus.
was a donkey to his right and he kept a long shepherd’s crook in his left
He wore a bright linen and he was absolutely beautiful. I don’t remember his
face but I do remember his absolute beauty, which melted into a feeling. I
felt this beauty within me. At the same time he irradiated intense love
Behind it and everywhere there was this white light that was a thousand
times brighter than the sun and did not blind you.
And this light was infinite love and beauty at the same time. If there is
God, it definitely had to be that light. That’s what I thought. Everything
was pure emotion. I experienced a feeling of happiness which I had never
experienced in all my life. I felt being infinitely loved and welcome. I
wanted to go straight up the mountain.
But all at once I saw hundreds of people standing round the mountain. When I
approached them I found out that they were all colourless figures of human
beings without a face. I lost my courage because I thought they all wanted
to get closer to him and I wouldn’t stand a chance of getting there. I
hadn’t finished my thought when all of a sudden these human beings stepped
aside to let me pass. And then I also felt their warmth, their love and
their compassion. I passed through them and all their cheerful and loving
emotions closed in on me. I felt them all in an intensive loving way. I
climbed up the mountain and as I moved on it was as if I was walking on air.
Jesus took my hand and I had a feeling of total and unrivalled happiness.
In one moment all the love, the beauty, the light and knowledge of the
universe poured into me. It seemed to me as if in one moment an ocean of all
these feelings and all this knowledge was poured into me. I had a feeling of
utmost joy and peace – everything seemed so well as it was. It was only
after some time that I started thinking. Suddenly the world’s Doomsday came
to my mind which I had seen and experienced. I also remembered my three
children. I thought I had to look for my children. It was as if I had said
it loudly and Jesus agreed. All communication was by means of telepathy. It
was even more like a transfer of feelings not of words. We went looking for
the children holding one’s hands.
I woke up. It was early in the morning. I was back to this earth. I was sad.
Loudly I asked for a further five minutes of sleep to continue with my
dream. I wanted to fall asleep very quickly to stick to my dream. I wanted
to find my children. And indeed I feel asleep and continued my dream.
I was walking with Jesus, the light had moved far away, the mood was
different. He was going by my side. We came to a house with a courtyard. My
children were there and there was a girl unknown to me. They were playing a
game I could not see. Jesus stayed behind and he gave me an encouraging
I quietly moved closer, the children were playing turning their backs on me.
But somehow they must have perceived me and jumped up with joy and rushed
I crouched to catch them. They jumped into my arms which I had widely opened
and I got up holding them in my arms. The joy of seeing each other was
immense and we hugged and kissed each other. After we had said hello to
each other I asked my boys where their sister was. Suddenly my kids had
become adults, whom I kept carrying on my arms They were still my kids but
had grown up. When I asked them about their sister they looked at each other
questioningly. I looked into the distance where I perceived the light that
was shining softly. Then the boys looked at me questioningly.
I woke up and the first thing I said to myself was, this was not a dream. It
was something that was “sent” to me. And I even experienced a feeling of
happiness pouring down from above. I jumped out of the bed full of joy . It
was as if I could shout loudly and happily.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain There are no true words to describe what I had experienced. In particular I find it difficult to describe adequately the great feelings of happiness I had.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When Jesus took my hand How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: All the light and all the love and beauty and knowledge poured into me. A flood of knowledge was pouring into me or was it me being in the centre of knowledge. I had absolute certainty that everything is as good as it is. There was order in everything, everything was justified and everything was immensely loved. Unfortunately I remember only the emotional part. I forgot about the knowledge. The only thing I still remember, there is no evil. I still ponder this sentence.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Uncertain. The light was so bright that in my understanding you would have to become blind in our world. But it did not blind you in any way although I looked into. It was a thousand times brighter than the sun.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain There I only heard the thoughts in my head though I’d rather say they were the emotions that I felt.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At the Doomsday scenario I strangely lacked emotions. I was without fear or sadness. I felt some deep peace, which was rather inexplicable to me. Love: Take all the love of all the people in this world – at the highest stage of having fallen in love - together and amplify it a thousand times – that would give you an idea of what I experienced. Beauty: It was so intense that I could feel it in my body – similar to love.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No
Did you see a light? Yes A bright light, a thousand times brighter than the sun and it didn’t blind me The light was infinite love and beauty beyond expression of words and everything felt like my body being touched by it.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes The people standing around the mountain were colourless figures without faces. I did not know them. They turned their loving and understanding attention to me. They heard my thoughts without words and I felt their loving emotions for me in an inexplicable way. They heard my thoughts without words and I felt their emotions form e – something I couldn’t explain to myself.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes All knowledge poured into me and I knew that everything was OK the way it was and that everything was being loved no matter what it was. There was a feeling of deep peace. I forgot all my knowledge I only kept both the feeling that „everything is OK as it is,” and the sentence, “There is no evil.”
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain In the years afterwards I had some very special dreams.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes After waking up I was euphoric – it was sheer bliss! I was so happy that I could have jumped to the ceiling out of happiness. I would have surrounded the world in two steps and at the same time hugged the whole world. I would have hugged every human being and shouted at them, „Believe in heaven and in God. Both do really exist.” I spoke about the dream to my family and my friends. I wrote down the dream in my diary and added some drawings. I did not know how to let off my exuberant feelings. I laughed and jumped around. That lasted a few days. People would listen to me and then ridicule me. Later I experienced sometimes being envied and then kept my dream to myself.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real When I woke up I knew that this was not a dream coming from inside myself but it was a dream that was sent to me I realized that there was Als ich erwachte, wußte ich, dass dies kein Traum war, der aus mir kam, sondern der mir geschickt wurde. Ich nahm wahr, dass noch irgendetwas über mir geöffnet war, was ich nicht näher erklären kann. Es war einfach ein Wissen, dass dies kein Traum war.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? I had no idea what significance the dream would hold for me. I was just happy about this gift until about nine months later my boys were burnt to death in a small wooden hut. Together with them a girl unknown to me also died. I now became aware of the significance of the dream. There was some kind of comfort in it. I’m infinitely grateful for it.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real. The fact that the dream came true bore out nine months later. It was only then that I recognized that it was not sent to me without a reason. It should carry me through the most difficult time of my life, it comforted me and helped me to carry on.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain I remember „there is nothing evil”. So I try not to pass judgment quickly on other people. My relations with other people have become more profound.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain My kids said good-by to me after they had died. I didn’t see them but I felt their presence and received a kiss from them one after the other, which felt like a light electric shock . I knew they were OK because I felt very peaceful. After all I have become more aware of things and feel something which I didn’t notice formerly and sometimes I have dreams worthy of note.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes I have nothing to add. To my mind all experience has got to do with somebody’s life and personality. I cannot add anything to it. In my opinion every experience is modeled on one’s own personality and the individual life. You cannot generalize it. But there is a basic pattern in which the most essential things are equal. And that was the case with me without a NDE but with a dream, which was not a real dream.
Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The report of my experience cannot be called a NDE. However I think it’s made from the same stuff. I thought it might be of interest to you that I had this experience without being near to death. I’m thanking you for this page and the chance to let you know about it. Was it a dream? To me it was no dream, no NDE, no vision. What was it then? Is there a name for it?