Chris R's Experience |
Experience description:
I was 17 and experiencing the absolute limit of my capacity to handle multiple stressful situations. My 16 year old girlfriend was pregnant - I was facing expulsion from high school - our family home was pending foreclosure... etc.
Alone in my bedroom one night, after a couple of days spent learning about and digesting these situations, it all began to overwhelm me. I was sitting on the edge of my bed panicking, sweating, shaking, moaning, writhing and begging God to save me from this. In short, there was *MUCH* "wailing and gnashing of teeth".
After an hour or so of this, (somewhat suddenly), everything changed: For a moment I was blind, then suddenly - one by one - every lowly human sensation was lifted away from me. No worry. No sadness. No fear. No dread. No pain. Nothing negative whatsoever. Only... pure bliss. Pure joy. ABSOLUTE BRILLIANT ECSTASY!
As all negative emotion was being removed, I found myself in a place I'd never been. Getting there involved no tunnel, there was no "bright light" and there was no "life review". Just: BAM! I was there... I had the sensation that I'd "broken through"... I found myself standing in this ecstasy near the foot of a bridge which ramped slightly upward and to my right, then peeled down to the left and descended into the most magnificent city I had ever seen. I have since seen Paris, London and New York, and this city dwarfed all of them - all of them put together. The city was giant and shimmering and pulsating - magnificent. The sky had an amazing, iridescent twilight quality.
Out-posted on this bridge were sentient beings. They floated about eight inches off the ground, facing outward, stationed approximately every 60 yards. *IMMEDIATELY* I ran as fast as I could to the closest one to me - on my left. As I ran I mentally screamed, "I'm here!! I made it! I'm back! I'm home! Isn't this glorious!?! Isn't this wonderful!?!" However, the being was very dismissive. Without words, It said plainly "I know who you are, but I'm not sure how you got here. You and I both know that you should not be here... Now go." In a word: i was crushed. Quickly, I felt all of the negative human emotions falling back on me. My vision of this being on the bridge gradually converted to the pasty, yellow-white corner of my sad bedroom. I was left, sitting on the edge of the bed, angry that I couldn't stay. All I felt was sad and dejected, heavily burdened by these weights, once again.
The next several weeks are a complete blur. My girlfriend accidentally let on to her mom that she had morning sickness - and her mother forced an abortion on her. I *was* kicked out of school, but didn't care. Similarly, we did loose our home, but at the time it just didn't matter.