Bryan W's Experience

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Experience description:   

I was living in the South Pacific at the time and I saw a little girl about 8 years old that was blind and deaf on one of my island flights. At the time it didn't make me upset, only sad that the girl was so innocent and would never be given a equal chance at life like other kids her age.  I help the little girl off the airplane and said goodbye and didn't really give it much thought after that.   

A few days later, I was sleeping in my bed and having a dream where I was yelling at God. I was angry and I wanted answers as to why there was so much suffering and why children had to be the victims.  Now before I go any further, I must tell you that to this day I am a VERY light sleeper - moonbeams wake me up. A thermostat clicking at night will wake me up.  That said, I can recall yelling at God then all of a sudden I remember thinking uh-oh - he heard me. Suddenly, a light began entering my dream from above and behind me - at this point my dream was over - and I remember falling to my knee and looking down at a stone ground. As the light increased in my dream, there was this tremendous feeling that increased with it's presence. The light continued to the point that I became engulfed by it.  I could no longer see my hands as they were also made of light - basically, everything was white light.  One thing I would add, the light didn't hurt my eyes.  This feeling started in the middle of my chest and went through my entire body all the way through my toes and fingers, head, etc.  The only way I can describe the feeling is to say it felt almost like the same feeling when you have an orgasm - but a millions times stronger.   

So... now I am totally consumed by the light, when a voice says - BELIEVE IN ME! - it was SO loud but it didn't hurt my ears. I would compare it to thunder and lightning. And this voice/being was very angry with me.  At that point the "light" exited just like it entered. Now I am laying on my bed - this "dream" is over and I lay there awake - the feeling is still tingling all over my body but fading with time - and almost as though I was cramping all over my body.  And for some reason, the first thing I said to myself was "I won't tell anyone".  My ears were still ringing from the "voice" so loudly that I couldn't hear anything, my face was wet from tears, and I couldn't see anything due from the light in my dream.  Almost as if someone were to come into a totally dark room and flip on a million watt light and then turn it back off.  I was basically blind and deaf for at least 10-15 minutes.  My ears to this day still ring.   

It has never happened since nor anything even remotely close. At the time and even today, I am considered to be in excellent health.  At 37, I play semi-pro soccer and have no history of heart issues.  At the time it happened, I thought maybe I had a heart attack - but at 24 y/o and no history of heart problems, I would probably be in the medical books.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes,    The feeling that went through my body.  It almost seems sacrilegious, but the closest feeling I can compare it to would be an orgasm times a million. This feeling began as the light entered my dream and increased as the light increased.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When the light consumed my entire body and everything beyond that point.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            It just seemed like I was surrounded by knowledge/wisdom.  It was very real, more than life itself and I was a part of everything or "as one" with everything.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     my body seemed to become "one" with the light.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     very loud.  like thunder - but it didn't hurt.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            fear, extreme love

Did you see a light?           Yes     Light came from above and behind and increased to the point I was part of it.  It was pure white light, but different than that of a light bulb or the sun.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     Yes, God himself.  Started out above and behind me and then I became part of his "light".  He only said "BELIEVE IN ME" nothing else.  He was mad at me for questioning him.  His voice was like thunder.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes            It wasn't really beautiful, just a cold cobblestone looking ground.  i didn't know it was there until in dropped to one knee.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes, time seemed to stand still, like it was nonexistent.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     i felt as though i was one with the universe. as though i was in the presence of infinite wisdom, kindness and love.

Did you become aware of future events?       No
            not really, although i seemed to be tapped into "life" better now than i was before the occurrence.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     my perception seems to be very good and i have a thirst for gaining knowledge.  something i didn't care about before it happened.  i really feel a connection with "something" as though "he" isn't far away - this never leaves me.  although I still do not attend church nor do i discuss religion with people. i feel as though i have been given a gift or insite, but not really sure how to tap into it completely.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Yes, although I said when I first awoke "that I wouldn't tell anyone".  I did tell my parents and my wife - all of which i think thought i was a crack-pot.  But said - "interesting".  I sat beside an old Catholic Priest one time on a flight back from Miami (he was at least 80) and asked his opinion on what happened.  In his opinion, he said I had been saved by God himself.  He said he has spent his entire life with God and he has never said one word to him... but that I was very special.  No one seemed to be influenced by it except for me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No            Knew nothing about it before it happened.  But it seemed to reflect that of an NDE.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes, the intense feeling of love and being part of the light or "one" with everything.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real
            I guess I questioned why he would talk to me? if it was all just a dream?   But then I realized that the things I felt when I woke was real.  I guess I am still searching for additional answers.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real
            it made my ears ring, my eyes water and go blind for a short period, and i felt it throughout my body when i woke up.  it was without a doubt real.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes
i guess the love for my wife seems to be shallow compared to what i felt in the dream.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
Yes            physically no.  spiritually yes.  i feel like there is a closeness or presence constantly around me.  i still don't attend church, nor is religion a part of my daily discussion.  i probably pray about the same, but feel kind of an inner peace.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     sex is about the only thing that produces the feeling throughout my body, but even that isn't close.  i know this sounds odd, but i can't think of any other way to describe it.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        nope.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     it's been 13 years, but i remember it very clearly. i know that most people have an accident and die - only to come back in most NDE's.  but i can't think of any other thing out there that would match what happened to me.