Bryan S's Experience

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Experience description:   

I had a real frustrating year in 1976, trying to come to grips with a change in focus about the direction my life was taking, which was against the teachings of the church I grew up in.  I had returned the previous fall from being a missionary for the LDS Church and came to the realization that I was not someone they wanted in the Church; a homosexual.  After trying to get counseling for this and then realizing that I could never become the person they wanted me to be, I left the church. 

That move came with a lot of baggage and it was hard to cope with being different.  The fall of that year brought a suicide attempt, as I let go of what I had been raised to become.  After getting myself through this, I promised that if I could do this for myself, then I might could help someone else.  I soon found meditation as a source of help and took the opportunity to set the stage for meditation and getting some answers.  I put some music on and got quiet. 

The experience was one of "watching" the music slow down and then realizing I was in God's backyard, wrapped or surrounded by the most intense feeling of love that I have ever felt.  I described it as being hugged by God.  The experience lasted about 15 minutes, give or take, as I remember the beginning and ending for the music, which was about 20 minutes long.  I have vivid memories of places important to me, not from this part of the Universe.  I also remember a whirlwind tour and life review that I experienced.

The experience has given me focus on the powers of the mind and I feel the aura energy of the people around me.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No response

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

Suicide attempt.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Very high level of involvement.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes, it did have a dream quality to it, but the images are as fresh today as they were 26 and a half years ago.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Joy and elation.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No, I do not recall any at this time, but there could have been.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

I saw a lot of places that I know were important to ne, but did not see a bright light.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

A guide, but do not remember much about the personage.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? NoDid you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes

A heightened sense of involvement.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Yes, it slowed down tremendously.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I came back knowing an answer to my question as to where I stood with God and also some really important places had be revealed.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I became and energy worker and healer.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Yes, I spent almost 25 years finding a reason why I now meditate so much.  I also took refuge in the Buddha.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       They have become extremely honest and real.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I see more than most, feel more than most, and do more than most.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

With family members.  They have seen me slowly resolve having left the church they still cling to.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Joy, elation, compassion, caring, some confusion.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was getting my answers.  The worst was not having anything to anchor to for a long time.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes

Meditation now takes me back to the immediate connection to the Universe that I made at that time.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    None.