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Bonnie S's Experience

Experience description:   

I was headed to a dentist appointment at 9:30am. I was in a 2 door Volkswagen. It was raining. I was traveling approximately 45 mph.  About a mile from my country home were railroad tracks. Off to the right were dense woods. The tracks were slightly overgrown with brush. There was no railroad sign what so ever at the crossing. We have never seen a train cross the tracks. As I approached the tracks all of a sudden I heard a train whistle. I looked to the right, in horror I saw a train coming full speed. I immediately slammed on my brakes, but I knew it was too late. I could feel myself sliding onto the tracks. All I could think of were my two boys. I would not be there to love them. I knew my life was over!

The next thing I remember was waking up in the ER confused. I could feel blood running down my face. A doctor was shaving part of my head and was suturing the opening. I learned later, I received 32 sutures, with no medication. I was in and out of consciousness.  Another physician came in and told me to look at my foot. It was black. He said he had to set it, or I would lose it. I also remember seeing a bone protrude out of my lower leg. I had an open compound fracture; my foot was torn off and held on by my Achilles tendon. When the doctor set my foot I passed out. I awoke several hours later. I had a long leg cast on and in spite of being heavily medicated, I was in severe pain. My family was at my bedside. I was confused.

The next morning I awoke- I was putting together what had happened. I finally realized I had been in an accident but....... I had this overwhelming feeling of love. Not human love but indescribable Love, unconditional love and acceptance. A feeling I call Love but a spiritual Love. Love that is combined with Peace and Joy and Acceptance! Truly there are no words in my vocabulary I can use to describe this overwhelming feeling. I am not humanly capable of expressing this feeling because there are no words that can portray my experience to our earthly existence. God had told me it was not my time to die. I had more love to give and the only reason for our existence was to give love! That is all that mattered in this world- the amount of Love and Compassion we can share. But I was also filled with his Love- A knowledge that he loves us so much that there is no feeling as strong in this life as "How he adores us, not just me, all of us."  I felt like I was invincible. I had a message from above. I had a glimpse of his indescribable compassion he has for all of us- his children. I felt as though I had to get out of my bed and yell down the halls- "it's ok he loves all of us. You have no idea how much you are loved".

As I laid in my hospital bed , I wasn't sad- I knew what ever was my physical outcome from my accident, something special had happened to me that made my life complete, forever. If I died, it was ok. I was not afraid of anything. I was filled with HIS Love!

I called my best friend who knew me completely and told her about my experience. She cried and I cried. I knew she believed me.  I was very careful about sharing my experience , because I had a head injury and they might attribute it to that. There is no way that had anything to do with my experience. The indiscernible emotions that I was filled with , could not be explained away. I knew God saved my life. I was in a VW and hit by a train. I was pushed about a block down the tracks and then my car rolled into the ditch. Paramedics pried my car open to get me out.  God (which I call my creator) told me it was not time for me to die. I had to give more love in this world. The main reason for our existence is to give Love.  But , He loves us in a way that we canít compare to anything in this earthly existence. 

I had four surgeries on my leg and my ankle was fused. I divorced my abusive husband and got remarried.  I started a healthcare newspaper and several other endeavors as an entrepreneur. I knew I would never fail! Because employment and money wasnít IT!  Itís about LOVE!!  My experience changed my life forever.

I know we are here to give LOVE and to help one another.  I have tried to share Godís unconditional , overwhelming , indescribable  Acceptance and Adoration he has for all of us.  I feel  sad for those who will never even research this  belief of being so LOVED!

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I was in a Volkswagon and hit by a train at an unmarked crossing.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     I can't put my feelings into a language that our earthly beings will comprehend. It's not a feeling that there are words to decribe in the english language.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    About the second day after my accident when I realized this incredible PEACE. I was told I would lose my foot- I was thankful I had the spiritual experience after I got out of surgery and realized my message!

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I had a feeling of unlimited joy and all knowing

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I was afraid - petrified I was going to die! Then my next feeling was LOVE and acceptance and JOY. I can't describe it - because it was a feeling like I could fly out of my body because I was not limited to my earthly body-- It was way beyond and outside of it- this feeling

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I didn't hear anything- but someone had told me it was not my time to die. It was not a voice so I didn't hear it- I FELT it!!!

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Uncertain  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Love, Joy, Peace , Acceptance , Calmness and Excitement because of the LOVE  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I had a feeling that I have put into words- I was engulfed in LOVE and the Love told me It was not my time to die

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I knew when the train hit I would die. I felt engulfed by a feeling of LOVE

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I didn't know what time or what day it was I had a message from my creator and I don't know exactly when I received it-

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
Nothing is important here except how we love one another- only because he loves us so much and that is our reason we are here. Because he loves us

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Yes
When I became aware of this message I knew it was to my soul - outside of my physical realm

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (ďlife after deathĒ)?   Yes   I know we never die and God wants us with him but only after we do what is needed here. He is waiting to bring us home to love us forever.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Certain a creator exists- who could give me this feeling of love and acceptance? He told me it was not my time to die - he had future needs for me on this earth. Yes there is no doubt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   We are all one here together. His children whom he loves equally and he wants us to take care of those here for him. We all in this earthly existence belong to him and we are here to love him and what he created.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly lifeís meaning or purpose?   Yes   I know he is there to reach by prayer to help us because we are here to be transformed to be more like him. Through our difficulties he is there to lean on but out hardships are there to mold us to become like him.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly lifeís difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   I know he is there to reach by prayer to help us because we are here to be transformed to be more like him. Through our difficulties he is there to lean on but out hardships are there to mold us to become like him.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   That's what our creator is LOVE! We are a spirit of LOVE and we are here to give LOVE!

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   Whatever we have done- he loves us all so much and wants us to return the love. There is nothing we can do to alienate him from us- he loves us all the same. Perverts, thieves, murderers - all the same and cries out in our sorrow. When we hurt he hurts!

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I know some things in my life before they happen- I know names of people i meet before they tell me. I sometimes can tell what people are going to say before they say it. As far as a purpose- we are here to help those who we come in contact with. God puts persons in our lives to help and to help us.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I had no idea how important I was to the plan- My mother was unloving, my husband was abusive, here I was so hopeless and unimportant- then he showed me how much he loved me and saved my earthly existence so I could share his love. I know I am loved and needed by our creator and my duty is to share this adoration!

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I remember everything about my NDE everything. It's engraved into my soul forever. I can tell the experience like it happened an hour ago vs. 30 yrs ago.

Now, other things in my life that occurred in the hospital are not as clear , i.e.; the names of nurses and doctors and various visitors and gifts at the time of my accident.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   At the age of 32 I was self-centered, trying to find happiness with material things. I had 2 sons and was living with a physically abusive man. I was given the courage to get my boys and I out on our own and live a life of helping others in my nursing position but more importantly in my personal life. I was so afraid to leave my husband- he had threatened to kill me and beat me so many times. But I knew God was for me and wanted me to live and if my husband did kill me -- I would be ok.

My experience directly resulted in:  
Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   I put the needs of others on a high priority.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   I would say how much he loves us.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I can feel what others are feeling. I know who is calling on my phone before I answer it. I know the names of people before they introduce their selves.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
I would say how much he loves us.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I shared my experience about 3 days after it occurred. I share it whenever I feel it will help a situation and people are receptive to it. My father died a year ago and I explained to him how much God loves him and God was waiting for him, I told Dad all about my experience and told him I KNEW God was waiting for him and loved him so much. He was then not afraid to die!!

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real  

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I have no doubt it was real. How did I live threw a train accident ???? How and why?? There is no doubt in my mind the message was real

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   If things don't turn out like I would like I have faith in God's love for me and it is the power in my life.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I pray daily and sometimes talk to God all day.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   When my father was dying I felt empowered to comfort everyone and tell them what was waiting for my father. That was power from above.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   I am alive only because my creator wants me here. I can't waste a minute of my life and I want everyone to know about my experience. I am not special but my creator gave me a message and I don't want to let him down. I want to emit peace and love like he gave me. That is my purpose in my life.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   You gave me the opportunity to tell my story of my NDE