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Bonnie E's Experience

Experience description:   

My son was a 10.3 lb baby. My original pediatrician, was in town when I had to give birth. I used a substitute doctor. He didn't know me or my situation. My doctor had told him my baby was head down and ready to go. It turned out that my son was breach, head up, facing out. I had an emergency c-section. To make things worse, I had an epidural and my epidural wore off before they could get me pain medicine from the hospital pharmacy. The doctor had a difficult time getting my son out. He could not, so he had his nurse use her smaller hands to pull my son from my body through the cut. After he was removed, the doctor did what all he had to do with my uterus, etc. and sewed me up. I had just been sewn up and then the pain medicine wore off. It felt as if I had been cut wide open with a knife or had been in a terrible car accident. My body went into shock and it cried uncontrollably. Not a normal cry, but an uncontrolled cry with spasms.  This seemed to go on for quite a while, but my husband said it was only about an hour before they were able to get me some medicine from the hospital pharmacy.  I felt as if I were dying. I kept hearing my husband talking to me saying, 'Hang on, they should have some pain medicine soon.' He was leaning over my body talking to me and then he would get angry at the nurses, asking them  'WHY have you not gotten her the medicine yet?' They would say, 'We are, we have called them but because she had an emergency surgery, the pharmacy was not called in time to get it here fast.' He was getting very angry but kept his cool. He just kept saying sweet things to me to try to help me through the pain. All I remember at that time is the severe pain. It was the worst thing I have ever felt in my life. My body started crying and shaking and I felt as if I could not focus on anything except the pain I was feeling.  I could hear my husband talking to me but it was as I could not hear him well. I was in too much pain.

Then after I thought I could not take it any more, all of a sudden I found myself above him, looking down on him and my body. I seemed to be floating above them but at the foot of my hospital bed. I could see the top of his head as he looked down at me. He was leaning over me and rubbing my shoulder and talking to me. I could see him very upset. I however was very calm now and did not feel pain although my body looked as if it were still in pain. I said out loud (in my spirit state), 'Someone please help him. Help him to know that is only my body and I am okay.' I never looked around to see who I might be talking to, I just assumed there was someone there listening. I kept looking at my husband giving me his loving attention. I didn't have strong emotions of joy or sadness, I only had concern that he understand that the body he was caring for was only a body and that I was actually okay and floating above. I could tell I was in spirit form, but never looked down at my 'spirit' to see if I had hands, etc. It didn't seem to be a concern I had. I seemed to know what I was, but also didn't know what I was. This part is very hard to explain because I don't know of any other form like it in order to explain it with words. While in the out of body 'spirit,' I was at peace and didn't seem to need to know what form I was actually in.  It seemed like a greater reality, or another dimension and I say this because when I spoke to the 'someone' trying to get them to help my husband understand my body was only a body, my husband could not hear me speak. And the 'someone' I was trying to speak to while I was out of my body, never answered me and I never saw them. That is the only thing that bothers me about this whole experience. I thought someone would speak back but they did not. I still believe in God/Jesus, but now I think that maybe I just had not gone to the spiritual world, but instead was barely away from my body and only went out of my body and not into their dimension.... sort of like an electron still held close to the atom, and has not escaped into another area or molecule. See... I don't know how to explain it. The hospital room looked the same to me. Except I was floating above him and my body and I was at peace. I only seemed to be out of my body for a very short time. It is just a real to me today as it was then. I can see it all in detail and it was not a dream. Dreams are different than what happened to me. Dreams feel different. My out of body experience was real and gives me peace even today.  I have only told this story about 10 times in the past 24 years. It feels good to tell it now. I am not afraid to die now. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Calming. .... I just wish someone had spoken back to me. That is the only part that bothers me, even so, it was beautiful and strengthened my faith.

I have also studied enough science to know that so much about nature did not happen just by chance. Like how a male and female have body parts to match in order to reproduce.  That could not happen by chance, there is too much chaos in nature for that to occur by accident. Also, how molecules form and the order of how DNA works, etc. Way too orderly for it to be from an accident....nature is chaotic, it wouldn't form such ordered structures that were able to perform such complex operations. All the body systems in our body use chemicals to keep them in order and functioning, one chemical will affect another and operates like a well oiled machine (most of the time), this could not be by chance. It is too complex and orderly. My out of body experience gave me affirmation of what I had believed and felt in my gut. I truly felt there has always been something special about our souls and the out of body experience helped me to know it was true.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I had an emergency c-section. To make things worse, I had an epidural, and my epidural wore off before they could get me pain medicine from the hospital pharmacy. I had just been sewn up and then the pain medicine wore off. It felt as if I had been cut wide open with a knife or had been in a terrible car accident. My body went into shock and it cried uncontrollably. Not a normal cry, but an uncontrolled cry with spasms. It seemed to me this must have been life threatening. I was going into shock.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It is hard to explain how you felt in this new place. I had never been there before so I don't have words to fully explain although I tried to explain how clear it was. It felt as if I knew things, knew that was only my body and it is normal to have a body and a spirit.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I seemed to be most alert when I was out of my body looking down at my husband and my body.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   When I was out of my body, I felt as if all was clear and I 'understood' things I didn't know when I was in my body. It all felt clear and easy to know.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   For the question about senses, I didn't have an experience with sense besides my perception of knowing things I didn't usually know in my body. I didn't have a smell or touch, etc. As for the vision question, my vision seemed to be very clear and crisp. Better than normal.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I could hear my husband like normal except I could hear him from where I was and not as if he was speaking over and down at me. I heard him talking to the body. I didn't hear anything from the spiritual world. Just my own voice as I spoke to 'someone' in the spirit world.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I could hear my husband like normal except I could hear him from where I was and not as if he was speaking over and down at me. I heard him talking to my body. I didn't hear anything from the spiritual world. Just my own voice as I spoke to 'someone' in the spirit world.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   peaceful, concern for my husband, not worried about my body, floaty, light  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No


Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No



Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No


Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others
I didn't have time to find out what all I actually did know, but it felt as if I knew things I didn't know in my body. I say this because as I was out of my body, I felt it was normal to be out of my body and that my husband who was of the world didn't understand that. I wanted him to understand it, but also knew he would not because he was not where my 'spirit' was.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No


Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No


Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   There must be. I was floating above my body and my husband. I was separate from it.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I had the feel of a spirit. It seemed I was part of something but didn't get to go to it.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No   It seemed as if earthlings should not worry. It seemed as if they should but didn't know that all is okay after we leave. I could see my husband all upset about me going into shock. I could feel in my spirit form that  all was okay and he should not worry but he didn't know not to worry.


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   It seemed as if earthlings should not worry. It seemed as if they should but didn't know that all is okay after we leave. I could see my husband all upset about me going into shock. I could feel in my spirit form that  all was okay and he should not worry but he didn't know not to worry.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Yes. I felt as if I could feel love stronger and understood that he loved me as well. In human form, we are told we are loved but we never truly know how the other person feels. In the spirit form it was obvious how he felt about me. I could sense it.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I had a sense of knowing that my spirit was real, things were clear, and made sense. I'm not sure why it all happened though, that was not made clear to me. But I could clearly see the scene before me and how I felt and sensed it.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   It was much more clear and nondream like. I thought when we died it would be more like a dream. Even though I wasn't dead, the out of body experience gave me a feel for what it might be like when we do die. It was so real to me. I thought we would have a body, a spiritual body, but I didn't see mine, but then again, I didn't look of it either. I was only concerned about the scene before me. I was amazed at how calm I felt and it seemed I knew more than I had in my body, but I'm not sure what all I did know, except that I knew my body was just a body.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th   I see this experience very clearly in my mind. I can remember all the details of what I saw happen. I remember it better than most experiences of the same time and it was 24 years ago.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I am now sure there is a God/Jesus. I felt I had known there was, but then the out of body experience helped me to KNOW there was. I just didn't get the chance to go further away from my body to find everyone else or what was waiting for me.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
No  

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
I would go through all that pain again to experience what I did. Yes. It is very special to me. The whole experience but especially the out of body part. The birth of my son brought me such joy to have him and extreme joy to have learned more from the experience of having him. The spirit form was very meaningful to me. It fills my heart with joy.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I told my husband the very day I woke up from he pain medicine they finally gave me. He listened but didn't say he believed me or disbelieved. I told his parents. They didn't act like they had a comment either. I told my family and they listened, but my mom and dad acted the same. No one acted like they understood but they would not say to my face that they didn't believe me. I waited many years before I told anyone else. The next time I told anyone about it, it was online. I felt safer that way. I play chess on chess.com and have told about three people on the site about it. One person I told about it, I told him about 3 months before he caught pneumonia and died of a heart attack. I hope it gave him some peace of mind. He knew before his heart attack he was going to need a pace maker. But he didn't get it in time. He seemed open to hearing about it and acted like he believed me. His 'God' was not the same as how I saw God in my heart. But he did believe in a supreme being. That is how most people have reacted. I probably have told about 10 people over the 24 years.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I had heard of people having them but didn't know if I believed in them. I do believe in it now.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   It was very clear that it was real. It was different than any dreams or drugged experience I had ever had before. I have had surgery before and the pain meds don't make you feel like what I felt and knew during my out of body experience. It was real!

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   Same as above: It was very clear that it was real. It was different than any dreams or drugged experience I had ever had before. I have had surgery before and the pain meds don't make you feel like what I felt and knew during my out of body experience. It was real!

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I try to be open when I see someone in pain about their loved ones, especially when they have passed on. I told my mother-in-law about it again when my father-in-law passed away with Parkinsons. I am not sure it helped her, but I wanted it to. I wished they could see what I had seen so she would be at peace with him passing.  I am still sad when people die because they are not here with us in this dimension or what ever you want to call it.  But I am also at peace with the passing since we all must do it and it is a peaceful experience. I think now that even if I were attacked by someone and murdered, it would still be a peaceful experience once I left my body. So that  makes me feel better. As we all wonder, I used to wonder what it would be like if I were to be attacked by someone and killed or badly hurt. Now I know the pain does not last.  It will all be okay.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   It is stronger.

I still don't go to church but it is mainly because I work so hard during the week. I pray to God more and pray for more people around me than I used to and I feel he is listening. I actually feel it.

I plan to go to church more and do more reading about spiritual aspects after I retire when I have time to dig into it more. Right now I am just making it through all I have to as a parent and wife and work. I want to learn more.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No.

It was real and with me not giving my name, please don't let that affect whether or not you believe it. I just didn't feel secure to give my name to a site I just stumbled on, but thought I would share my story if you would listen.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   As best as I could explain it.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?      Gather as much information as you can. Try to make sense of it. I don't think it would be ethical to 'study' someone dying and brought back to life, etc. It would be hard to learn otherwise, so I don't know how you can study it but I think it is good that you are asking for people to tell their stories.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                        I think that covered about all of it.

I also made sure I didn't read any of your experiences before I typed my own. I wanted it to come straight from my memory as I saw it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell it.