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Bernie N's Experience

Experience description:   

I was nine years old at this time. I was dreaming that I was at school and I had to pee really bad. So I went to the toilets and took a leak, only to wake up noticing I was peeing in my bed...

As this happened I was suddenly jolted upwards to the ceiling, floating above my body. I remember thinking 'of course, this is what's it like when you die, no stairs to heaven or any of that' as if I had been through this sort of thing many times before... I had no body, I looked at my 'spirit' body (like looking at your torso in your physical body) and all I saw was a misty form and in the center I was radiating a bright azure light, pulsing outwards calmly. Yet, though I had no body I had the feeling of having my arms and legs outstretched like a starfish.

Next I heard someone to my left say 'have no fear'. It was my uncle! Then at my left I heard 'We did this to you because we want to show you something'. And here was my grandfather!

Both had died at least 3 years before I was born, so I never knew them in life. They too had a similiar form to me but radiated another color and were slightly bigger.

They asked me to come with them.

I told them I can't because I didn't want to die. They said 'You are not dead, not even close, you are merely out of your body, we did this so we could show you something.' I told them 'No, I can't go with you, I will die and leave my brother behind all alone! I can't do this' (our mother had just died and we were fatherless). They assured me I was not dead nor would I die if I were to go with them. At thsi point I got hysterical and cried 'I don't wantto die, I can't leave him behind'.

After trying to convince me for some time, they gave in and my grandfather asked me, 'Are you absolutely sure?' I said I was. He told me that to return to my body all I had to do was focus on my body and will my return. But then he warned me, he said 'If you return now, this choice will become one of your greatest regrets in later life. You will also try to get out of your body many times in your life but you are to never succeed on your own. But do not worry, we are always with you, and we will try again someday when you are ready'

As he said all this, I saw what he meant. I knew that I would try many times around my mid teens.

I then saw myself sitting on the edge of a white bed with a white wall. Around me on the floor two suitcases. I had my elbows on my knees and my hands in my face as I hunched over with my medium long dark brown hair hanging down. I was 25  and worn out of life. I was in regret. Gut wrenching regret.

Biggest regret was a girl,

second had something to do with people and being 'cut off' in some way,

Third had something to do with my body

Fourth was an oportunity wasted

And fifth was my choice to return to my body at the moment of my OBE.

I 'intuitively knew' this would start at age 23 and peak ever higher until I reached 25, and get better at 26. 27 was nothing special but there was something about 28 and 29 but I was not shown what.

As he finished, I concentrated on my body and willed myself back.


Choose whatever to believe, I'm merely sharing this for myself. I'm 23 now, and everything is true, everything I saw is head on. I'm in the middle of all of it. And I know now how to interprent all I saw, too. It's pretty personal but I'm anonymous so I guess it's ok.

The girl was someone from highschool, whom I had a massive crush on but never dared to ask out. She was unlike any other girl ever. I really regret this. You have no idea.

The second has to do with my social anxiety which I developed in my mid teens. I just hid away from the world as much as I could, lying to myself I hated people anyway and didn't need them. As my twenties came around my social anxiety has lessend (high school and socal anxiety is hell) BUT the effects of my choices have done their damage. I cannot connect with people. I'm lonely and stuck with myself. I can't relate with people, etc etc. There's no escaping. I really regret this and it weighs down on me so much. Life is so pointless without people.

The third is an injury I got from never mantaining my body and now it's too late. It's keeping me from getting in shape.

The fourth is dropping out of school. If I hadn't, looking for a job woudln't be so damn hard.

The fifth: my choice to return to my body. I'm always wondering 'What if I went with them and they wanted to calmly show me all of this and how to prevent this? To make the right choices,  so I wouldn't be depressed and suicidal?

Oh, and at age 14 I was waiting for the bus at school when I overheard a friend a few feet away of me talk about 'astral projection' I walked over and asked him all about it and it was exactly what I experienced 5 years prior! I was excited out of my mind to hear you could achieve this on will! So I got home and searched the internet for hours and tried relentlessly for a year with absolutely NO result. After this I kept trying occasionally until 17 somewhere where I gave up.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?   No   

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?   No   

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?   No   

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?   Everything was sharper

Was the experience dream like in any way?   Not at all.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Yes   I felt like I was the true me.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?    First calm, then hysteria, then calm

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?    Nope

Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No    I only saw my grandfather and uncle.

Did you see a light?    Yes    My own and that of them.

Did you meet or see any other beings?    Yes    My grandfather and uncle.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?   No    I was too occupied with not leaving behind my brother to do any of this. I wasn't blown away by the experience either. It was the most normal thing ever at the time of the experience. I knew this was the true state of being. I wasn't blown away until I was back into my body, really.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No   

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?    No    The only thing I was aware of in this regard was, while having the sense of having my arms and legs in starfish formation was that my right foot was sticking through a box on top of my closet. (even though I had no typical physical body shape and was merely a misty orb gently pulsating a blue light)

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?    No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes    Explain below.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?    No   

Did you become aware of future events?    Yes    I saw my future and I'm living that exact future right now. Even my hair is right. I shaved it for years having no interest in long hair (and never even had my hair even close to this length in my entire life) until I suddenly decided to grow out my hair for it'd be a shame to waste such a thick bush of hair. It's been medium long for a year now.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?    Yes    I was made known how to and did so on my own accord.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?    No   

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes    I don't believe in traditional religion or any at all.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?    It gives me hope.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    People show a great lack of interest.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?   Nothing bad. I was just being 9 year old me.   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No           

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes