Anthony R's Experience
I had been
drinking since 3:00 p.m. on this particular day. I started with a few beers at
a local restaurant, then proceeded to buy and drink a 12 ounce bottle of vodka
to sip during the two hour drive to my destination at the Pocono mountains in
Pennsylvania. Prior to this day I had not had a single drink in three months,
so my alcohol tolerance was quite low. By the time I reached the Poconos I had
consumed the entire bottle of vodka and was drinking more beer. By 12 a.m. I
started throwing up alcohol, food, and blood, but continued to drink
Most of the events from this point on come to me in bits and pieces. My friends later told me that I tried to get in my car to drive back home, but I have absolutely no recollection of this. The only things I remember between 12 a.m. and 1 a.m. (when I passed out) were taking out my contacts (I don't remember going to my car to get my stuff) and laying on the couch muttering about how I just wanted to die. I must have passed out there because that's where I found myself the next morning.
Sometime later after I had passed out, I recall getting up from the couch, turning around and actually SEEING my body. At the time I wasn't cognizant of the fact that it was me - I only saw a person with a blue shirt and khaki pants laying on the couch. No one else at the house was wearing this. What I found odd was that I wasn't standing in the room but sort of floating in the room. I found my perspective of view to be much higher than I normally would, as if I were seven feet tall (I'm only 5'8). This event of seeing myself makes me believe that this wasn't a dream or a drunken memory but something else.
Next, I found myself in a circle of people who were all talking amongst each other. These I knew were my friends, and they all seem worried. I don't remember anything they said, but it seemed like none of them realized I was standing there. No one looked at me when I entered the discussion. It was if I wasn't there.
The next thing I remember was moving upstairs to the second floor, where a girl was pulling out a mattress of some sorts and arguing with someone. What she was arguing about I don't know. What seemed odd was that I don't remember going up the steps to the second floor. It was almost as if I had just thought about it and I was there, like I had instantly transcended through the ceiling on the first floor to the second floor.
I looked up and saw a skylight and started staring at the skylight. As I did this I literally moved through the skylight and was surrounded by thousands of stars. I could see almost every star in the sky. The sky was much blacker than I ever saw it on earth, and the stars were big and bright, as if I were much closer to them than I ever could be.
The next part of this event is hazy to me. It felt like I was in a state of deep dreamless drunken sleep for about 15 minutes. Then, it was daylight. I was still outside and floating over the ground about 50 feet up. I approached a very rickety house that looked as if it were made of tin. It stood on a grassy knoll, and mountains could be seen in the background. I sort of descended to ground level and could see the house from a normal perspective.
It was then that I felt the presence of someone behind me. He spoke, and said "This house is not finished yet." During the event I didn't really know who this person was, but when I review it now I am positive that this person is a person to whom I pray and who is dead. I responded with, "No, no, it's time to rock, it's time to rock and roll!" which was my own code phrase for "I want to die." I have had suicidal thoughts since I was a child, and every time I think of dying I think to myself, "It's time to rock and roll," which is my way of saying "I want to leave this earth." He responded by saying, "No you can't leave. The house, it's a house of cards." When he said this I instantly saw several very distinct and clear visions.
The first was of someone's hands shuffling a deck of cards. The next was of three and possibly four people or beings, dressed in hooded garments, playing some game of cards at a table in a very dark room. I could not see any of their faces because of the hoods. All the garments were a brown color. The next vision was of a blonde-haired girl taking something out of a locker. She had a bookbag over her shoulder. She closed the locker and walked away from it towards what looked like a small auditorium. In the dream I thought this place was a school I had once attended years ago, but now I realize that the structure of this place does not match the school I attended. I tried to follow the girl into the auditorium but then encountered my final vision.
This one was of a boy, about one year old, riding one of those kiddie trucks that kids push along with their feet. His hair was curly and moppy, and he had a goofy smile on his face. He was riding in a corridor that looked like the second floor of the house at which I was staying, but I'm not sure of this. Finally, I found myself outside of the house at which I was staying, floating about it about fifty feet in the air. I slowly approached the house and floated through the first floor window and into the living room.
I turned around and saw a very bright light with three silhouettes inside of it. I was laying on a skateboard (I can't explain why or the significance of this skateboard, only that it was there). The silhouettes were waving to me. One was tall and in the middle, and the other two were much shorter and at either end of the light. I now believe that these three silhouettes were my guardian angels - my grandmother (the tall one) and two others who are dead and whose names I do not want to mention here. I believe now that their tallness signified their spiritual power. My grandmother was extremely spiritual on earth, so this is why I believe she was the tall one. Then I remember sort of slipping back into my body, almost as if I had laid down into it.
I then awoke. It was 6 a.m. and daylight. Two things struck me immediately when I awoke. The first was the fact that I could see everything in the room perfectly clearly. I have 20/400 vision, and I can barely see without glasses or contacts. I thought I had passed out and left the contacts in, not initially remembering that I took them out. For thirty seconds I could see everything in the room with more clarity that I ever have in my life. The second thing that struck me as odd was the absence of any exhaustion or hangover for this thirty second period. I felt more refreshed that I ever had in my life. After this thirty seconds, however, everything blurred and I started to feel sick to my stomach again. I then realized that I had awoken and that I had passed out on the couch.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience: Yes
Explanation: Between 20-30 servings of alcohol - beer and vodka
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate? I'm still not sure if it was a vivid dream, a hallucination, or a real NDE. Many of the events were so supernatural that they could not be accurately described in words.
At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain
Describe: I was extremely drunk, I threw up blood, I blacked out for at least an hour, and then I passed out.
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? Initially, my level of consciousness was heightened, even more vivid that in real life. I could see things in dimensions I never could in real life, like I had super 3-D vision. There were parts of my experience that seemed cloudy and dreamlike, although the vision of the girl and of the young boy was incredibly clear and powerful, maybe even more so than in real life.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Parts of it were. The part with the tin house seemed somewhat like a dream. The initial experience was NOTHING like a dream. I thought I was awake.
Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body? Yes
Describe your appearance or form apart from your body: I felt taller and I was able to see things in much more vivid detail than normally. Everything seemed incredibly detailed and clear, which is unusual because I have very bad vision. I felt like I was floating over people rather than standing with them.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion dominated the experience. I never once actually had the thought that I was dead. The most confusing and disturbing experience was seeing my own body. I look different in three dimensions, which may have been why I didn't recognize myself initially.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? No.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Uncertain
Describe: I passed through the ceiling of the house at which I was staying and sort of passed INTO space. I cannot explain this feeling other than I was PART of space - as if I could see every single star in my field of vision. I vaguely remember the stars beginning to form into a tunnel, but remember nothing after that until I saw the tin house.
Did you see a light? Yes
Describe: I saw the stars and the "tunneling" of the sky. The stars were much brighter and whiter than anything on earth. Also, before I went back into my body, I looked back and saw the three silhouettes surrounded in an incredible light much brighter and whiter than anything on earth. However, this light did not hurt my eyes. It was comforting and serene, and I was sad to leave it.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes
Describe: I talked directly to who I believe is someone to whom I pray regularly. He communicated to me things about the tin house that I still do not fully understand. From what I can make out of it, he told me in a strange way that it was not my time, that the house "wasn't finished," that "it was a house of cards." To this day I still do not fully understand these statements.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain
Describe: I saw my friends conversing and I saw a girl pulling out a mattress. I have not tried to find out if these events happened while I was passed out.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Uncertain
Describe: Being in the sky with the stars was something totally unlike anything I had ever experienced here. The tin house location was a place I had never been to, although its presence was more disturbing and confusing to me than beautiful.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Describe: The whole event seemed to take place in 15 or 20 minutes, although over 5 hours elapsed between the start and end of the event
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Uncertain
Describe: The men playing cards seemed to be a vision of a higher order dealing out "life situations." I can't make out its meaning, but the vision had lots of clarity and power to it.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
Describe: The tin house seemed to be a boundary to me. I felt that I couldn't go into it or pass it. It was almost like I was not allowed to be near it.
Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain
Describe: I believe the girl I saw will be someone significant in my life - perhaps my future wife or daughter. The boy I saw is almost definitely a future son of mine. He looked very much like me.
Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body? Uncertain
Describe: When I floated back to the house, I felt as if I "had to go back," as if I almost had no choice. I was very resentful about this decision before I re-entered my body, but a part of me knew I had to do it.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes
Pennies began to appear everywhere I went. They would pop up spontaneously on
trash cans, on gym equipment, on the ground, in my pockets. Just yesterday a
penny appeared on the passenger seat of my car out of nowhere. No one has sat
in that seat in days and there was no way that penny could have gotten there by
I have also begun to have incredibly vivid dreams. In these dreams I feel tremendous emotions - love, sadness, regret. The dreams are incredibly real - I can feel things, smell things, touch and talk to people.
I seem to have a sense of things happening before they do. A name just pops in my head and out of nowhere that person will call thirty seconds later.
I will think of a random song that I haven't heard in years and it will appear on the radio. This has happened to me so many times that I cannot dismiss it as coincidence.
I have also visited places far away that I know I have seen in my dreams before. For example, I entered a psychic shop in New Orleans that I absolutely positively remember in a dream of mine. There was literally no difference between the shop in real life and the shop in the dream. I had never been to New Orleans before that day.
Finally, I feel things about people that I never did before. I can feel tension, happiness, sadness, lies, honesty - I can feel when someone feels these things if they're in my presence. It's an odd, vague feeling, but it's there and it confuses me a lot.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? No
Has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.? Career choices? I am more confused now about life than I ever have been. I am still not sure about whether or not this was a true NDE. I now write down all my dreams to see if I can make sense out of them or find messages in them.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
Describe: Nearly everyone thinks it was not an NDE. My best friend said it could not have been an NDE because he watched me for hours after I passed out to make sure I was still breathing.
What emotions did you experience following your experience? I was incredibly depressed for an entire week after the experience. I was also extremely confused about the experience and its meaning.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part of the experience was seeing the stars and seeing my own body. Also, the clarity I felt after I woke up was nothing I had ever felt before. The worst part about this experience is still with me today - thinking about whether or not it really was an NDE or just a drunk dream.
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? No.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? No
Explain: There is truly no way to accurately describe this experience in words.
Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.oberf.org questionnaire? It's a good questionnaire.