I had been feeling tired for quiet a while. I have hypothyroidism so I assumed that was what caused me to feel so tired, exhausted. I would have severe pain in my chest and sometimes it felt as if my heart actually stopped for s few seconds. After work I would come home and collapse on the couch and sleep for hours. I hardly ever went to a doctor, even in my field of work.
I mentioned to a family member that I felt so bad and tired that it almost feels like I'm dying. Still, I did not go see my doctor. I am hard headed and very stubborn. Anyway, In September of 2011 I came home from work, feeling extremely tired and having to prop myself up against the door just to unlock it and let myself in. My breathing had become labored. Still, It was TSH levels that were to blame, or so I told myself.
I got inside my house and lay on the couch. As I did, I literally felt like the life was leaving my body. I did not call anyone because I was to exhausted to pick up the phone and because I didn't want to look like a fool when it was nothing but TSH levels being off a bit.
I went to sleep. The next thing I knew, I was walking up these beautiful steps, or what appeared to be some type of garden stones. On each side of the pathway, there was the most beautiful flowers i had ever seen. The colors were amazingly rich. The flowers looked as if they were swaying all in one accord. Almost as if the were alive. The grass was greener than any green I had ever seen.
I was aware that I was some place very special. It felt as if I had known this was home. I felt as if I had been away a long long time and I had finally reached home. There was a feeling of peace that I cannot describe. When I got to the top of the garden path, I saw my deceased grandparents. My grandfather died in 1993 and my grandmother in 2010. I was extremely close to them. They helped raised me.
They were standing in front of big wooden door. My grandmother was wringing her hands. She did that when she was excited. She was smiling this beautiful smile. My grandfather was smiling and motioning for me to come on and saying " well come on in, come on in." They were so happy to see me and I was happy to see them. I WAS HOME!
I woke up instead. I don't know how long I slept. The next morning I had a
family member drive me to my dr. who ran some test and told me that I was being
admitted to the hospital ASAP. My HGB had dropped to a dangerously low. I had to
have blood transfusions and iron infusions, all kinds of meds, heart monitor,
and O2. My doctor told me that he cannot understand how I was up walking around
and going to work because I was less than 48 hrs from death. I was bleeding to
death. My blood pressure was 67/47.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes yes, there was, but I was not aware of how sick I actually was.
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I cannot explain the feeling of home, the feeling of life, of love. I cannot begin to explain the colors of the flowers or the grass. I have tried to research different colors, and they simply do not exist here. Take the most beautiful paths in Hawaii and multiply it hundreds of time, and still it would not compare to what I saw.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the time I was walking up those steps till I saw my grandparents.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt as if I were more alive than at anytime I had been on this earth. There was no pain, no fear. It was a love that was indescribable.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is still the same, but somehow, its dull. I mean, The colors here are dull compared to whats there.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nothing has changed. My hearing is still the same.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happiness, Love, joy, energy.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes my grandparents.
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was aware that I was no longer earthbound. My home was through that wooden door and I wanted to go in.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes I felt as if life continues on and although we think Earth is home, its not. home is there. Home is Heaven.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Yes although I never saw any other being other my grandparents, I was aware that the One who created it was just inside that doorway. I just knew.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? Yes I cannot explain it, I just knew it.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? Yes
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? Yes
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes Absolutely! The feeling of love was so amazing, it literally flowed all around, you could feel it everywhere.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes My purpose is to keep trying. To not give up. To believe in God and to make it home.
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was raised in church. I always knew that heaven was real, but to see that just outside it was amazing.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It is something that you cannot forget, its like it becomes a part of you.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: I have this intense feeling to tell people of what I saw. I want to serve GOD even more. I pray more. I talk to God everyday in prayer. I even drive down the road talking to Him, because i am aware that He hears me, even though He does not audibly answer back.
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? yes. seeing my grandparents there and knowing that they are waiting for me is exciting to me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes While I was in the hospital, the next day a chaplain came to visit. I told him about it and he smiled and said that the door I saw was the doorway to my death. I already felt that before he said it. Eternity was through that big wooden door.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes my father's friend was hooked on prescription pills. a few years ago he took too many and well..he knew he was dying and called for help. He was rushed to the ER and was lying on the table, hearing the nurses rushing about saying " we're losing him" He then felt himself lift up, and then fall backwards through the floor. The further he fell, the blacker and hotter it became. He told me that he knew he was going to hell. He was terrified. He called out to God and was brought back. He is now in church. God was merciful to him.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real I had no doubt it happened.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real it was more real than anything else I know. its burned into my memory.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I love people more. I want to help more people
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes. I know that I was just outside the entrance to Heaven. Although I did not see Heaven, or Jesus, or God, I saw the flowers, the grass, the stepping stones, my grandparents. I was not told that I was being sent back. It was to show me what was to come. I believe that My grandparents greeted me there. and I believe it was to get my attention because had it not been for that, I would not have went to a doctor and I would have died at home. It was real. No doubt about it.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes