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Amanda R NDE-Like

Experience description:   

I had been sick for about 3 days with a fever and flu before the event, but I was feeling much better that evening. I got into bed, set my alarm, and laid down on my pillow.

A moment later I saw a misty space above me that seemed to swirl in space. Then I felt a strong pulling upwards towards the ceiling, like I was being yanked up off my bed by my heart, and I felt a rushing sensation like I was being pulled through a cloudy tunnel at great speed towards a light. This rushing feeling didn't last long and I found myself suddenly in a tremendous expanse of wisps of colors swirling around everywhere. I had no body, no sense of gravity, no direction, very little sense of 'self' perspective. I could feel the presence of countless others in the colors and we merged together. I felt a sense of love, belonging and 'home' that is difficult to describe. Maybe it's beyond description - ineffable. I get weepy remembering the feeling of being in this state and sometimes wonder if that was a glimpse of heaven. I had the understanding that I was not going to remain there and would go back, but I got the sense that I was going with their love and that the separation would only be part of the illusion of life.

I thumped back down into my body, fully awake and aware of my bedroom. I looked back over at the alarm clock I set before lying down and only a couple of minutes had gone by. It was a glorious expedience and shifted my perspective on a variety of things. I no longer felt drawn to ritual, or experiencing spiritual things in a prescribed fashion. I wonder if that state is always there and present, like another dimension or something overlaid on my day to day experience. I feel like I lack the language to convey the sense of it.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?        Yes    I can describe what happened, but the feelings are difficult to explain

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?       No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    I felt fully conscious and aware  of everything.

Was the experience dream like in any way?           No - this was unlike any dream experience I've had.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?         Yes    I had no form - I felt diffuse, like I was part of a cloud of countless other beings.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           I felt immense love and joy.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         I remember a whooshing as I traveled through the tunnel - maybe it was like a roar of static.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?           Uncertain     I wondered after the fact if this was heaven. But it doesn't seem like the heaven I learned about in church as a child.

Did you see a light?         Yes    I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. The colors that were swirling everywhere were bright.

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    I felt like I knew them and they knew me - like they were the people I came from. They welcomed me and we rejoiced that we were together. I lost some sense of my self though, and some of  what I learned or came to understand seemed to come from all of us collectively at once.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?    No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?        No     

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?  Uncertain     I felt like maybe I was seeing the colours, but not exactly. More like standing them in another way. I also felt like I was feeling vibration rather than hearing anything with ears

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?           Yes    In English, we describe time in terms of length - I had no sense of length of time. What I felt was a fullness of time and the experience was immense. I found it interesting to see that less than three minutes had elapsed between setting  my alarm clock and thumping down into my body.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?           Yes    I had a feeling of purpose, like what I was doing would be brought back to be shared with all of these beings when I am finished living this life.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?              No     

Did you become aware of future events?      No     

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?     Yes    I felt like I was going to feel sad to leave and be separated, but I also felt certain that it would be temporary. I felt invigorated and supported.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?        Uncertain           For about a year afterwards, I felt like another presence was with  me to help guide me through a difficult time in my life.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?         Yes    I was a practicing pagan before the experience and did rituals at the sabbats with others. After this experience, I felt almost no draw to ritual and don't feel like experiencing spirituality through the eyes of others because I've had direct experience.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?    I felt much less inclined to be told what to do. I divorced my husband and switched careers (left the family business). It was liberating. I stopped practicing rituals as a pagan and stopped trying to change the people around me. I'm considerably calmer and open minded now. I also used to deal with bouts of depression, but haven't since the experience.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes   

Have you shared this experience with others?           Yes    I've shared this experience with two others. I think they thought it was cool, but I don't know that they were influenced by it.

What emotions did you experience following your experience? I felt a deep sense of connection to the beings I met and I felt like I could make changes to my life.

What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was having an experience that gave an indication that there is something beyond this life. The worst part is that I am nearly unable to believe that certain things matter, like many aspects of corporate culture, which can be a problem in my current job.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No     

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?             Yes    Yes, I thought the questions were useful for digging into the experience.