Natasha's Experience


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Experience description:   

      I was lying down in bed, relaxing/ meditating trying to shut out the noises from the cars, taking a break in the middle of the workday essentially.....

I got into a very relaxed state, and pulled the comforter over me.....I looked at the alarm clock and fell asleep, all of a sudden I felt like I was having a dream within a dream is the best way to explain it...

 In this dream I was awake in the present surroundings, I looked at the clock but did not take notice of the time, the sheets were deep blue and I felt like

I was sitting up but my body was still lying down....I looked at my hand and arm and it was bizarre....I could see the blood coursing through the veins as if the skin was transparent for a moment....I was fearful but not scared at this point.....I got up and walked to the lounge room and I felt i was awake and it almost felt like i had 2 pair of eyes....one real one, which kept bringing me back to the fact that I was on the bed, because I could see the blue sheets and alarm clock and the other was in the other room seeing things.....

 I started to get scared between the disparities in what I was seeing, was I awake or is this a dream.....Every time I thought I was not dreaming and walking around, I realized in fact that my body was actually on the bed ....I started to get very scared, as I couldn't seem to separate one reality from the illusion......

Things started to get out of hand, and I was starting to get really frightened, as I tried to pull my hand up to push myself up off the bed.....I tried with all my might but didn't succeed....and yet my own body who was now on the stairs walking around was detached and very light....

I finally looked around for my real watch and compared the time on my real watch to the alarm clock which showed a time difference of an hour or so,, and this seemed to shock my brain into waking up.....  I "woke" up but didn't consciously wake up as one would after a nights sleep this was a different kind of wake up, more like an acknowledgement of a changed state....I felt a little afraid, confused and very very tired....and a little blank....

 That was 3 or so hours ago....

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No

 What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  During the actual realization that I was a separate entity of some sort, and my body was on the bed, I felt like I was awake, and hence when i "woke" up it didn't feel like I was waking up, it felt like I had regained my faculties and was able to walk in the real world....

Was the experience dream like in any way?  It started off with what seemed like a dream....in terms of being very relaxed and almost asleep or asleep, but then quickly turn on a different turn from an ordinary dream where in an ordinary dream I am still a full person and not separated....its Natasha going through a corridor in a dream mind and body but this was Natasha's mind was in the lounge room seemingly in a separate body from the one on the bed which I couldn't seem to lift a finger or arm...

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  My appearance apart from my body.....it was bizarre...at times i could see the blood coursing through my veins on my hand/forearm, and then it would be grey, I didn't focus on it as it was a bizarre sight.....but rather than seeing an appearance the feeling was more profound....I felt very light....no floating sensation just a very light feeling like I had fasted but there was no hunger....

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  at first a little startled when I came to the realization of what was going on, then a little frightened when I couldn't seem to "wake" up then fear set in... and then it was a matter of trying to pull myself up very heavily.......

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  Only sound I heard, was what I thought was my neighbor clattering up the stairs and knocking on the door, I tried to scream out, for her to find me, but the voice didn't come out....I thought I heard her give up and run back down the stairs.....I got more frightened after this...

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  I didn't see a "light" or a source or a pinpoint, it was just that everything was much brighter and seemed whiter, in contrast when I was in the walking through the house in the lighter mood.....as opposed to the normal light tones in the bedroom....

   Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes altered TIME.....it was very weird the thing that seemed to shock my brain into "waking" up from this experience was checking the time difference between the alarm clock on the side of the bed which I took a look at before I started relaxing to make sure i Got back to work on time.....  during the experience, I kept looking at the alarm clock and it seemed to not change...which bothered me and so to get a reality grip in my dream I reached for my watch.....to check the REAL time, this is when I "woke" up or came out of the dreamlike state....  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Uncertain

      Describe:  No but it was strange, a friend of mine had visited me from Dallas , he is into spiritual exploration in a big way, and he insisted on going to Ojai ...  So instead of being the usual Los Angeles tour guide, I accompanied him to Ojai where he visited the Krishnamurti foundation.....I didn't have any interest in it, it went along with it, to satisfy the needs of my friend....I didn't mind it the place was beautiful and very peaceful and calm, and it was interesting talking to him....MY friend and I went on to discuss meanings of life and being in touch with oneself as one does normally and in the course of the discussions, I had come to find out the difference between what one expresses to others and what one feels on the inside...and the true meaning of honesty with situations and oneself, we spent many hours in discussion and argument and discussion again....but it was interesting and whilst not a huge revelation, it was profound enough in reinforcing some things I had already been feeling in the last year....  

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes, the boundary I had created for myself in the dream was the lounge room and at one point in time the street, before which I would come back to the bedroom and try to pull myself up...in the hope of waking up...

Did you become aware of future events?  Yes

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes
     
Describe:  YES i was scared and wanted to somehow get both my body on the bed and the one walking around to realize what was going on....and I thought the best way to do this was to see if there was any discrepancy in time, so i grabbed the watch and compared it with the time on the alarm clock...which seemed to bring everything into focus....

  Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I now believe in out of body experiences...i suppose...I didn't believe this was possible beforehand....

 Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  can't say, it happened a few hours ago...

 Have you shared this experience with others?  No

 What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Relief for starters, coupled with tiredness, drew a blank,.....disbelief but at the same time belief....

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  Best part? being able to trick my self into waking up by looking at the time thing.....I was starting to get worried..  Worst part? Not being able to bring my two selves together and consciously wake up!!

 Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes