Char's Experience

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Experience description:   


      First I need to give a piece of background that is relevant.  Prior to my experience, and for as long as I could remember, I had experienced a seemingly intrinsic sense of guilt.  One that I would ponder in the late of night, trying to understand what I could have possibly done in childhood that I was still feeling so guilty about.  In my early 20s I had begun seeking God via reading and meditation.  

On the day of my experience, I had t
wo young sons, both of whom were napping.  I lay down on the floor to meditate.  The next thing I knew I was in a tunnel - moving through it, yet not walking.  In the distance was the most beautiful white light (this is impossible to adequately describe because a white light sounds rather simplistic and plain, quite different than the light in my experience).  I also began sensing the presence of beings on both sides of the tunnel, but I never saw anyone.  

As I continued to move toward the light I experienced the strongest recognition of coming home - it was truly like if you had moved away from a house that held good memories & then many years later you find yourself on that street - it wasn't just a cognitive recognition, but also, and most importantly, an emotional one - like a completeness.  With that recognition came an overwhelming desire to go forward - perhaps to merge with the light - I don't know because it was not a cognition.  

Then, it was like someone was speaking to me but with no sounds - in my head - & I "heard" "no, your sons need you"  With that I was suddenly back in my everyday conscious awareness with my strong connection to my kids & it was like I turned my head - to the right & bam I came back.  

But the most amazing part of it all - and the piece that keeps bringing me back to believing that it must have been real - was that I immediately noticed an absence - that tangible almost consuming guilt that had been such a part of my being for most, if not all of my life, was totally gone - & it has never returned.  With that I KNEW that the God most of us have been taught about, and the prerequisite goodness that one is suppose to have to get to the proverbial heaven -- was totally incorrect.  That experience showed me that all one has to do is want to go home - to return to our source - whatever you choose to label it.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  words were not sufficient to communicate the essence of the experience - plus I though people would think I was crazy

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No

 What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I was totally focused on the experience & the real world and all my attachments to it had totally receded.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  not dreamlike, but definitely unreal

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  No

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  but I certainly was not aware of my physical body

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  joy - an emotion that was very unfamiliar to me back then - and a sense of total fulfillment

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  no

 Did you meet or see any other beings?  Uncertain
Describe:  I sensed  a presence(s) but never viewed anyone

 Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

 Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

 Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  No

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes      Describe:  Time & space ceased to exist.

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

Did you become aware of future events?  No
Describe:  actually that happened at the age of 20 following a traumatic event

 Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  It hasn't affected anything but my spiritual beliefs

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes
Describe:  I've told perhaps a handful of people.  They each thought it sounded wonderful, but I don't know if they really got the gist of it - or if they believed it really happened or if it was just my imagination

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  no

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  No

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

 Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

 Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the questionnaire?  I appreciate the opportunity to tell you about my experience.  Years afterward when I first heard about near death experiences, I was so surprised & excited to hear others describe the tunnel & light.  But I was also perplexed about why I had that experience when I wasn't dying.