First I need to give a piece of background
that is relevant. Prior to my
experience, and for as long as I could remember, I had experienced a seemingly
intrinsic sense of guilt. One that I
would ponder in the late of night, trying to understand what I could have
possibly done in childhood that I was still feeling so guilty about.
In my early 20s I had begun seeking God via reading and meditation.
On the day of my experience, I had two young sons, both of whom were napping. I lay down on the floor to meditate. The next thing I knew I was in a tunnel - moving through it, yet not walking. In the distance was the most beautiful white light (this is impossible to adequately describe because a white light sounds rather simplistic and plain, quite different than the light in my experience). I also began sensing the presence of beings on both sides of the tunnel, but I never saw anyone.
As I continued to move toward the light I experienced the strongest recognition of coming home - it was truly like if you had moved away from a house that held good memories & then many years later you find yourself on that street - it wasn't just a cognitive recognition, but also, and most importantly, an emotional one - like a completeness. With that recognition came an overwhelming desire to go forward - perhaps to merge with the light - I don't know because it was not a cognition.
Then, it was like someone was speaking to me but with no sounds - in my head - & I "heard" "no, your sons need you" With that I was suddenly back in my everyday conscious awareness with my strong connection to my kids & it was like I turned my head - to the right & bam I came back.
But the most amazing part of it all - and the piece that keeps bringing me back to believing that it must have been real - was that I immediately noticed an absence - that tangible almost consuming guilt that had been such a part of my being for most, if not all of my life, was totally gone - & it has never returned. With that I KNEW that the God most of us have been taught about, and the prerequisite goodness that one is suppose to have to get to the proverbial heaven -- was totally incorrect. That experience showed me that all one has to do is want to go home - to return to our source - whatever you choose to label it.
Any associated medications or substances with the
potential to affect the experience: No
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate? words
were not sufficient to communicate the essence of the experience - plus I though
people would think I was crazy
At the time of the experience, was there an
associated life threatening event? No
Was the experience dream like in any way? not
dreamlike, but definitely unreal
Did you experience a separation of consciousness
from your body?
Describe your appearance or form apart from your
but I certainly was not aware of my
What emotions did you feel during the experience? joy
- an emotion that was very unfamiliar to me back then - and a sense of total
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? no
Describe: I sensed a presence(s) but never viewed anyone
Did you become aware of future events? No
Describe: actually that happened at the age of 20 following a traumatic event
Has the experience affected your relationships?
Daily life? Religious
practices etc.? Career choices? It
hasn't affected anything but my spiritual beliefs
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
Describe: I've told perhaps a handful of people. They each thought it sounded wonderful, but I don't know if they really got the gist of it - or if they believed it really happened or if it was just my imagination
Is there anything else you would like to add
concerning the experience?